Ciel Phluffyhive: Nevermore
by xCielx3
Summary: AU, 21st century. Neko Ciel's life doesn't seem to be improving, especially with the new horrific turn of events. Will Ciel ever be truly happy again? This is the sequel to "Ciel Phluffyhive." SebastianxCiel
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:**** Hi there~! This story is a sequel to the original, "Ciel Phluffyhive." So if you haven't read that yet, I strongly suggest you do so, before reading this one. Otherwise, you will be quite confused. *-* And to my returning readers: sorry for the wait~! Now hurry and read! :3 (I bet you weren't expecting this plot twist~)**

**Warnings:**** Language**

**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Kuroshitsuji (Shocking, I know).**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Side Note:**** This story will eventually have some characters of the manga involved. Mmk, read on~!**

Chapter I

I have been on edge ever since I saw my aunt, Angelina Durless, in the shelter's office. She flashed me an extremely fake smile as I walked into the room and smothered me with a hug filled with empty emotions. The woman clad in red made up some excuse to the shelter's workers about how her "life has changed" and she "desperately wants to take care of" me. How ridiculous. She dumped me in this shelter five years ago. What makes her think she has any right to adopt me, after what she did? The shelter leader instantly agreed to the adoption; most likely to be rid of me.

Even though it was not Claude who adopted me, Angelina is just as screwed up. When she set her eyes upon me for the first time in five years, she showed no genuine emotion. Anyone else would have at least shown _some _form of emotion. Especially considering that was the first time she has seen my changed...appearance. She acted like she has already seen my hideous cat-like appendages; which she hasn't. Right? And how did Angelina even know I was in that place? After five years, did she really expect me to still be there? That doesn't add up. But, how did she know?

Well, that was a month ago. That means I have been living with my aunt for a full _month_ now. I still don't understand how she convinced the orphanage to let her adopt me. She was the one who abandoned me! She is the one who left me to be adopted by those bastards who humiliated and tortured me.

When I first came here, all I could think about was Sebastian. Where was he? Did he miss me at all? After the first week, I came to the conclusion that thinking about the raven haired male was not beneficial at all. So, I stopped thinking about him. Or at least, I tried.

When I think too much about these things, my head starts to ache. Or maybe that's my heart.

So, here I am, sitting at the dining room table, eating dinner. Angelina is seated across from me, in her usual red attire. She cooked salmon today. Now, I am not going to lie...I love fish. But, with _her _here, I can barely find my appetite, even with the mouth-watering aroma steaming from the plate in front of my nose.

Her personality is so different from the last time I saw her, that it's a bit unnerving. Actually, that might not be the right word for my uneasiness. I think 'scary' would be the better term. Yes, something about her new 'personality' is extremely scary, but I don't know why. Although, it's painfully obvious that everything is a facade, so I shouldn't be afraid. _Ugh! _This whole month has been an act, but I have no idea why.

_And it's driving me to insanity._

Why is she pretending to care? Even though she fakely smiles and feigns friendly conversations with me, there is a major flaw in her charade. Not once, in the entire month of my being here, has she let me outside. Not once.

_She's keeping me locked in here._

"_Darling, _do you like the salmon?"

"Yes," I reply softly, not wanting to upset her. Since this is all an act, I know her true self is dying to escape. And her true self...I don't want to ever see again.

That was the last of our dinner conversation.

* * *

"You must be joking."

Angelina's voice causes me to stop in my tracks. It's being emitted through a door on the side of the hallway. I press my furry ear to the wood and listen, hoping to gain a better sound quality. My eyes open to their full size as I continue to listen. Her...her voice sounds just as it did back then. She's talking on the phone to someone. I can't hear the other end of the line, since the wooden door is in the way, but I can hear her clearly.

"That's not _nearly _enough! Do you have any idea just how much work I've put into this?"

A pause.

"Oh? And what have _you _done t—"

My steps falter and the door opens, along with me falling after. The woman in red abruptly ends her phone call by hanging up and immediately replaces her shock with her emotionless mask.

"Ciel, _darling, _what are you doing here? Why aren't you in bed?"

"I-I was...just—"

"I'll take you to your room, _honey_," she says with her sickly sweet voice. She leads me to my room and closes the door as she leaves. Before I can even turn around, a faint 'click' sounds from behind the door. Did she...just lock me in here? She's never locked me in my room before, even though she's locked me in the house. I must have overheard something I shouldn't have. But, what exactly, did I overhear?

I fell through the door before I could hear anything of importance, right?

* * *

I don't know what time it is. I assume it's either extremely early in the morning or late at night, since the sky is black. Not a trace of sunlight touches the darkness outside my window. The reason I am awake right now, is because I heard a noise outside my door a few seconds ago. I can't open my door and investigate, since Angelina locked it earlier. I sit up on the mattress and rub my dry, tired eyes, wanting to return to the abyss of sleep.

So much has gone wrong in my life. I don't know how much more can take...

That's when I hear the movement of a key being inserted into a metal lock. Why is she coming in here? Can't she at least _knock_?

The door opens, revealing Angelina, completely dressed. Her outfit is entirely red, but that is normal for her. What is a tad confusing, is the fact that she is dressed to leave the house, at such a late—or early—hour.

"Oh, you're already awake," she says, not caring in the slightest about my sudden awakening.

I don't say anything, but I wait for her to tell me why she rudely woke me from my escape from reality.

"Okay, get dressed Ciel; we're going out."

Sleepiness disappears from my mind as I hear those three words. 'We're going out.' I can finally go outside? It's been so long...

Wait. It's the middle of the night. What reason could there possibly be to leave the house?

* * *

Fresh air nips at my skin as I step outside, for the first time in weeks. It feels so nice to fill my lungs with crisp, cool air as the light wind brushes past.

"Come on," Angelina commands me.

Even though I haven't the slightest idea as to where we are going, I am just glad to be outside. No...I'm _ecstatic._ I think I would be purring right now if it weren't so damn freezing.

We end up walking the whole way, to our destination: the park. Okay, this is slowly starting to creep me out more and more. The reasoning for this trip is unraveling in my mind with every second that ticks away.

"Where are we going?" I ask with a lowered voice as we step onto the grass. It is so early in the morning, or late at night, that the streetlights are all lit and the people are nonexistent. Angelina looks at me briefly, before ignoring my question completely.

"It's a nice night out tonight, isn't it?"

I frown and ask her once more, "Where are we going?"

Instead of answering, she forcefully takes hold of my wrist and pulls me over to the nearest bench. The black metal is even colder than the air around us as my arms touch the side of it. Goosebumps cover my skin as a particularly chilly breeze drifts past us and I instantly start shivering. I don't understand what is going on, but Angelina does; I can see it in her eyes. She's keeping something from me and it is not pleasant, whatever it is. Maybe it has something to do with that phone call...

Her crimson eyes search the expanse of the park, seemingly looking for something. I follow her line of sight and see nothing but darkness, even with my feline eyes. When I glance to my side, I see someone who makes my heart melt. Sebastian. He's sitting underneath the tree that I always used to visit; my favorite tree. The same tree that shaded us from the sun when we first met. But, it seems as if he's sleeping. My heart longs to see those beautiful red ruby eyes again, if only for a moment.

I miss him..._so much_.

Not paying attention to the woman sitting next to me, I am startled when she stands up. She has a smirk on her face and a look in her eyes that I don't like. Did I miss something? I'm not surprised, considering my beautiful distraction with raven hair. But...her expression from earlier has changed. I've seen it before, I know it.

I frown deeply when I remember where I've seen that look before. When I was locked in the room with Claude, he had the same expression written all over his face: victory.

_What the hell is going on here?_

Before I can do anything, she flashes one of her poisonous smiles and says, "Are you ready to head home, _darling_?" So then, I did miss something. What happened, though? I'm not sure I want to know. When she looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to reply, I just remain seated on the bench. What do I do?

Sebastian is so close...will I ever see him again?

Angelina scowls and forcefully grips my furry ear, causing me to cry out in pain when she yanks me off the bench. _Damn, that hurt!_ She pulled the same ear that that _kid _pulled at the shelter. Terrific.

I subconsciously lift my hand to my head and try to soothe my ear by rubbing it as I take a glance over at my favorite tree. Sebastian is still sleeping over there. Angelina tears me away from my Sebastian-watching and grips my wrist once more. She drags me away from my love, painfully slow, as I take one last glance under the tree.

_Goodbye, Sebastian._

After a short while, we reach her house and walk inside. She 'escorts' me to my room and locks me in there once more, as I crawl onto my bed. I just want to sleep...sleep away my life. The dark grey sheets comfort me when I bury my body underneath them and snuggle my face into the pillow. I can't sleep now, though.

What was the point of that outing? It couldn't have been more than an hour, but we didn't even do anything. Well, _I _didn't, I wasn't paying attention if _she_ did anything. Not to mention the fact that Sebastian was there. Why was he even there in the first place? Under my tree, no less.

He was sleeping in the park, alone, underneath my most frequently visited tree. Was...was he looking for me? Ha! Of course he wasn't, that wouldn't make _any _sense. He saw me being thrown into the police car, so he should have known that I wouldn't be just released back into the open. And above all else, it has been a _month _since I last saw him. It's not as if he's kept me in his thoughts this whole time.

Right?

The faintest light of hope lingers in my mind as I think of Sebastian looking for me. Maybe...maybe he does care. A warm, tingling sensation fills my chest as I remember every memory of Sebastian. The tingling is soon replaced by something audible and quite loud: I'm purring.

_Maybe...maybe he does care._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:**** I'm so sorry for the delayed update. *-* School and whatnot prevents my writing. :c (New plot twist in this chapter! What's going on with Madame Red?)**

**Warnings:**** I'm not sure what to call this warning...but it will be more intense later.**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

***I'll write to the anonymous reviewers in the beginning of each chapter, just letting you know* :3**

**Doubl****e-O-Nothin:**** Thank you! I'll try to update each chappie as fast as I can. :3**

**Awesome Mochi:**** Haha, Ciel needs a Sebby hug. c: Yes, such a licorice twist!**

**Azaora:**** Awe, thank you~! I try to change my mind set as I change the point of view, to mold the chapter into that person's personality. :3 It makes me beyond happy to know that you love my story so much! I'm so glad your friends enjoyed it too! c: Awe, you printed it out~ (I'm smiling like an idiot again).**

Chapter II

Ciel...

I can't stop thinking about him. The last I saw of him was when we were at the festival. Alois informed him of Claude's ill-intentions and that was the moment the police arrived. The officers chased Ciel away from the crowd of people and I ran after. Before I could catch up to Ciel, the officers stopped Alois and myself. They kept telling us to 'step back.' I wasn't paying attention to their words in the slightest. My sole priority was on Ciel, in the police car.

I watched Ciel's uncovered cerulean eye stare at me with desperation as the shock of the situation remained in my system. He was silently pleading for me to save him. His furry ears were flat on his head and he looked immensely frightened. My heart slowly cracked as I watched my kitten so utterly distressed.

_That's why I decided to act._

I pushed the men in blue aside and raced after the quickly receding car. My feet couldn't travel as fast as the vehicle, so when it turned a corner, I knew running was pointless. Of course, I knew I wouldn't ever be able to keep up with the automobile. The only reason my senses were lost, and I chased after the car, was the look in Ciel's deep blue eye. If he went with the police, no harm would befall him, but I paid no mind to that fact. Every part of my being wanted to tear away the expression of sadness from Ciel's features.

It has been a few weeks since that day.

Now, I am sitting underneath a tree in Clapham Common park: the tree, under which I met Ciel. I don't know why I come here. Maybe it's because I feel as if he is sitting next to me with those beautifully curious eyes of his and his adorable feline appearance. When I turn my head, I am greeted by a patch of grass and nothing else. A ray of the setting sun stabs my eyes as I raise my head slightly and I block it with my hand.

I have been constantly searching for information about Ciel, ever since that day. Nothing has come up, other than vague accounts of his arrest. Along with failure to find information, I have not taken care of my health. My sleeping habits have deteriorated, accompanied by less food intake. This has caused my appearance to suffer, but I couldn't care less about that. My job has suffered as well, though, I have hired my good friend to take over for me for a while: Agni. Not working allows me to devote my time to finding my blue kitten.

I know I should be trying to find more information on Ciel right now, but my mind has been fading more and more lately. I figure that is the effect of exhaustion. That is why I take a small amount of time to gather my thoughts underneath this tree everyday. Sometimes, I find myself drifting into sleep for a long period of time and sleeping well into the night. Those rare occasions leave me with slightly more sleep than usual. Today is slightly different than the others, since my silence is interrupted.

"Sebastian," a hoarse voice calls me.

A boy with light blonde hair framing his face walks over to me and sits down. His appearance is just as disheveled, if not more so, than mine. His hair isn't combed at all; each strand sticks out in every which way. The boy's ice blue eyes shine with a dull light, accompanied by dark, sleepless discoloration on the skin just below them. He looks like hasn't slept in weeks.

"Alois," I greet him by stating his name and turn my head to face him slightly.

He closes his eyes and leans back against the tree, obviously exhausted. I can only assume the cause for his current situation is Ciel. Another stream of light hits my face and I cringe, not welcoming the the brightness.

"Why are you here?" I ask with mild curiosity.

He takes a moment to respond, but when he does, he opens his eyes and stares directly at me. "I might know where he is."

I focus all of my attention on Alois when I hear that small phrase. "You know where Ciel is?"

His gaze drifts to the ground as he starts to respond. "I...heard Claude talking on the phone again. I was listening on another phone in the house, so I could hear his conversation. I didn't recognize the other person, but what I got from listening, was that Ciel is in a shelter a few blocks away."

I stand up immediately, upon hearing his words, and watch as Alois stands as well. I start walking as fast as I can, with newly found determination in my step; Alois in tow.

* * *

"I think this is it," Alois says as we open the door to the run-down building.

"Excuse me, miss?" I ask the woman behind the desk and glance around the room, hoping to see Ciel. I am filled with hope as I imagine Ciel being here.

"Yes?"

"I am looking for a boy, his name is Ciel."

The woman looks genuinely shocked for a moment, before composing herself and flipping through a few papers on the desk.

"Ciel...that _odd_ looking boy." A barely audible growl emits from within my throat at her criticizing words. "Yes, he was here." _'Was'?_ "However, he was adopted today. Just barely an hour ago, too. Why did you need to see him?"

"He...was adopted?" Fear starts to overtake my senses as thoughts of disgusting people adopting Ciel cross my mind. Alois seems to feel the same way, since the only emotion he is displaying is that of fear. Wait. Alois...

_Did Claude adopt Ciel?_

"Oh yes, she was a very kind woman," she continues, "Claimed to be his aunt. It was a very touching reunion, if you ask me."

I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing Ciel is most likely safe at the moment. "Could you tell me her name, by chance?"

* * *

Finally, after all this time, I know where Ciel is. That lady at the shelter told us that the woman who adopted Ciel, is Angelina Durless. She stated that she was Ciel's aunt, so she was able to adopt the boy with virtually no complications. That doesn't sit right with me. Ciel was abandoned for five years and he said he had no family, so how is it that this woman knows Ciel?

Now that I recall, Ciel did once tell me that his aunt dumped him into the shelter with no remorse. He left out any details regarding the woman, other than her cold personality. The woman at the desk told us that Angelina hugged Ciel and fawned over him. That wouldn't make sense with Ciel's story, since Angelina wanted nothing whatsoever to do with the former. None of this is adding up.

This whole situation is growing more and more out of hand. I should have just adopted Ciel the moment I saw him. None of this would be happening and we would still be together. I just...miss him so much. My life has never felt as empty as it could ever be, since Ciel is no longer involved. My heart clenches when I think about his pleading eyes watching me with such fear as the police car takes him away from me.

"Alright, let's go, Sebastian," Alois brings me back into the moment as he speaks.

It hadn't taken much searching to find where Angelina Durless lives, so Alois and I have decided to pay her a visit.

"Alois?"

"Yeah?"

I pause for a brief moment, before asking, "Where is Claude?"

He frowns deeply at the mention of his guardian and crosses his arms in annoyance. "I wouldn't know. I ran away."

I can't say I am surprised at this, considering the abuse Alois has had to endure from Claude. I'm sure the blonde boy has been abused much more than I know, but that is for another time. Right now, we need to find Ciel. I must admit, neither of us knows what to do once we arrive at Angelina's house. She wouldn't just willingly give Ciel to us, that much is obvious. We need to find a way to convince her to change her mind.

I have a feeling that might be a bit more difficult than either of us know. Angelina gave Ciel up for adoption five years ago, but adopted him less than a month ago? This makes no sense. Since she has some scheme involving Ciel, my plan to retrieve him might prove quite hard. But, I don't care how difficult it is; I'm taking Ciel back. First, though, we need to confirm that Ciel actually does reside at Angelina's house. Once we do that, we can find a way to convince her.

Alois and I drive to the address on the piece of paper, detailing the instructions to Angelina's house. Knowing that driving with nearly no sleep is unsafe, I drive my car at a painfully slow pace, in order to prevent accidents. I can tell Alois finds this comforting, but I'm not quite sure why.

After about an hour on the streets, we arrive in a small, classy neighborhood I have never seen before. The houses are all skillfully crafted and professionally painted, letting the scene remind me of a painting. Soon after passing a few homes, the right address comes into view and I park my car just across the street. Without exchanging words, we step out of the car and near the front door.

_**Knock Knock Knock**_

My knuckles lightly rap upon the door three times, hoping for someone to be home. There is no guarantee that this 'Angelina Durless' will even be here. The internet sites, that showed Angelina, did not look exactly credible, but it was the only source available. Another minute passes with no results and I open my mouth to say something to Alois, when the door creaks open.

A lock turns and the wooden door opens, revealing the most red woman I have ever seen. Everything is red: from her hat to her shoes. I suppose that is why most of the internet sites referred to her as 'Madame Red.' She fakely smiles at me as I steal a glance inside her home.

"Who would you be?" she asks with venom dripping from each syllable. She crosses her arms with a scowl on her face and eyes me up and down, along with Alois. She isn't too suspicious of a character, is she? I almost smile at my sarcastic joke. Almost, but not quite.

"Pardon me, but I am Sebas—"

My words are cut short by a small tuft of dark blue hair passing the opening in the door. Large, furry cat ears are just above that silky hair and I stare with wide eyes as the blue head nears the door. When the gorgeous ocean blue eye comes into view, my heart melts. The corners of my lips curl into a smile as Ciel stands next to his 'aunt' and finally sets his gaze upon me.

His ears perk up almost instantly and his tail swishes in the most upbeat of ways as his eyes lock with mine. Even in my moment of joy, I notice Ciel's pink lips turning upwards into a genuine smile. This small act causes my heart to melt even more than before.

When I hear the harsh voice of Angelina, I snap out of my trance and glare at her. She seems not to notice and instead says, "Why are you here?"

Alois steps in and saves the conversation from taking a bad turn and says, rather calmly, "Hello Miss! I am selling cookies, for a fundraiser at my school. I am going door to door..." Alois continues talking to Angelina as she rolls her eyes countless times and forces herself to not lose composure. Little does she know, she's already lost it.

My attention quickly shifts to Ciel, where I notice a few worrying matters that I hadn't noticed earlier. Now that I am over my initial shock of seeing Ciel, I can fully pay attention to his appearance.

One: Ciel has a bruise on his cheek, under his left eye. It is a dark, purple bruise and appears to be a few days old. I frown and anger boils within me at the thought of someone harming my Ciel. Nobody has the right to abuse him, not after what he has been through. My hands clench by my sides, leaving crescent shaped red marks in their wake as I try to control myself.

Two: his body is drastically thinner than last I saw him. His skin is extremely pale and he looks worse than when I first found him underneath the tree. My eyes wander over his small, frail, body and I grit my teeth when I think of him being treated with less care than he deserves. Ciel should not have to live under conditions that are any less than perfect.

Three: just beyond the surface of the sleeves of his long-sleeved shirt, are red marks. My eyes narrow as I study the small amount of skin visible on Ciel's arms. My fists clench even _more _as my brain tries to fit the pieces together. _Is...is Ciel...self-harming? _My palms start to feel wet the more I unintentionally dig my nails into my skin and draw blood. I'm going to kill this woman...I'm going to kill this woman..._I'm going to kill this woman...__**I'm going to—**_

"Come on, Sebastian, let's see if the next house wants to buy anything for the fundraiser," Alois grabs my arm and forcefully drags me away from the house. Ciel's previous smile fades and a frown forms on his beautiful features. As soon as we are off of her property, Angelina closes the door behind her and Ciel. The glare she sends my way doesn't faze me in the slightest.

I rip my arm out of Alois' grasp and start running back to the house; intending to break the neck of a certain woman clad in red. Before I can get far, a small hand grips my wrist and causes me to stop for a moment. My anger is beyond boiling within me and I can barely see the tears in Alois' eyes as he pleads for me to listen.

"Sebastian...please, you can't...you can't just act on an impulse. We need to tell the police."

The red hue that dusts my vision slowly fades and I blink a few times, trying to understand what he just told me. My breathing is ragged and heavy as I attempt to calm myself down. I take a few deep breaths and sit down on the curb as I bury my head in my hands. Ciel is in such bad condition. His aunt obviously created that bruise on his cheek, his body is unnaturally frail and his complexion is whiter than a bed sheet. Not to mention he appears as if he hasn't slept at all. But, the fact that he is self-harming...my mind starts to shift to the slow and satisfying death of that woman in red.

Ciel doesn't deserve this. He doesn't deserve _any _of this. His parents died on his tenth birthday, along with his happiness. His aunt indirectly dropped him into the hands of the people who, knowingly, screwed up his life. Those people took away his trust and it makes me sick to my stomach when I think of all the torture he has been through. I need to get Ciel out of there._ As soon as possible._


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:**** The fluff will ensue soon! ;)**

**Warnings:**** Abuse, self-abuse, **_**mild**_** gore, and language.**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Guest:**** Thank you! I'm glad you like my little story. :3**

**OnryoRyuu16:**** Haha, it's alright, we all get a bit lazy at times. c: Read this chapter and you won't sulk anymore. (Guaranteed or your money back)**

**End Note: *Beginning is a flashback a week prior to Sebastian's arrival***

Chapter III (Not Proofread)

_Once again, Angelina has taken me to the park; at night. She has taken me here about three other times, but I have yet to find out the reason. Since the first day she woke me up to take me here, I have not seen Sebastian. I really wish I could see him. As I look at the tree he was sitting beneath, I vividly remember seeing his sleeping face and slouched position. I turn my attention back to Angelina, as she tells me she will 'be right back.'_

_ She leaves my sight and I am left alone. This is the routine now, but I don't know why. She brings me here at least once a week and leaves to do some unknown thing as I wait for her return. The only reason I have not run off, is because I know how cruel she can be. My mind screams at my body, telling it to run and find Sebastian; telling it to escape. But, my feet don't move and eventually my mind gives up._

_ Today though, she is gone longer than usual. The soft chirping of crickets alerts me of that fact. My mind wins the battle today, as I stand from the bench and take off running in the nearest exit. Wind breezes past my ears, causing my hearing to be slightly impaired, but I don't care right now. The only sounds in the park, are my quiet footsteps and heavy breathing as I dart as fast as I can away from Madame Red._

_ Fear grips my chest as I realize just what I am doing. If I don't make it, what will happen? If Angelina catches me before I have a chance to hide..._

_ "Where do you think you're going?"_

_ My steps falter, and I stop abruptly, as I hear that woman's voice stab through my ears. The wind blocked my hearing and I didn't even notice that she caught up to me. Crap, this isn't good. A gloved hand wraps around my wrist and forcefully turns me around, so I am face-to-face with Angelina. The frown on her lips tells me that she isn't too happy. I can only imagine why._

_ "Well?" she asks me as her grip tightens and I cringe at the pain. I can't stand her anymore. I don't see why I have to hide the truth from her anymore, since there is no point._

_ "If you must know, Ms. Durless, I was attempting to escape. I can't live with you and your constantly fake persona. It is obvious that you are hiding secrets from me, but I couldn't care less. Right now, I would just like to get the hell away from you."_

_**Slap**_

_The sharp sound of Angelina's outburst echos across the park. Warily, I use my free hand and reach up to my cheek. It's so tender already; I'm sure it will leave a terrible bruise later. I knew this was bound to happen, so I am not all that shocked. Angelina, on the other hand, looks outraged. I'm assuming that is because of what I said._

_ "We're going home."_

_ With her vice-grip, it is nearly impossible to even try to escape. I sigh tiredly and follow her to her house. Once we are both inside, I head to my room and she locks the door again. Even though my cheek is throbbing with pain, I feel a bit relieved. That's not normal, is it? I suppose I feel this way because I was finally able to crack that mask of hers. The dark night sky outside informs me that I should return to sleep; so I do._

_ Screams, pain, and more pain, cause me to jolt upright in my bed. A nightmare. My eyes are wide and unseeing as I stumble out of bed and onto the floor. My entire body is covered in cold sweat and I need to rid myself of this feeling. __**I hate nightmares. **__This one was filled with specific, horrid memories that make me shiver when I try to remember. As I make my way over to the bathroom, a frown deepens on my face when I think. I'm surprised I don't have nightmares every night, since nothing pleasant has happened in so long. The only nice event that has occurred in five years, was Sebastian. I don't know how he managed to do it, but whenever he is around, I feel happier than I have ever been._

_ But, he's not here anymore. It's been a month, and he isn't coming. He's gone and will never be coming back. I need to accept that fact. But...I can't. My source of happiness has left me and I know that I will never have it again. Even though I saw him underneath my tree...that doesn't mean anything. And I need to accept that. My parents are dead, my aunt despises me for a reason I do not know, and nearly every person seems to be out to harm me in some way. And...I need to accept that._

_ I walk over to the bathroom connected to my room and turn the faucets for the shower. Once I am inside, I close my eyes and find that I am too tired right now to even stand. Sitting down, I let the spray of water hit the back of my head and I sigh. When will the nightmares stop?_

_ After a few more moments of barely falling asleep in the shower, I step out and dry myself off. My eyelids droop with tiredness as I run my fingers through my hair to untangle the mess. A slight shine on an object catches my attention immediately. My parents used to have one of these in their bathroom when I was younger. I don't remember what it is called, though, since I never bothered to ask. Whatever the name is, it is metal and flat. My fingers trace over the sharp edge and a pleasant idea forms in my tired mind. Maybe..._

_ I pick up the object and inspect every inch of the thing as I tilt my head to the side. The fog in my mind covers my thinking processes as my brain decides to carry out my 'pleasant idea.' I absent-mindedly lower the metal until it grazes the flesh of my other arm._

_ 'Do it.'_

_ What will happen?_

_ 'Something nice.'_

_ How do you know?_

_ 'Everything you have endured in your life has been painful. There is nothing more to be done to your life that will cause you pain.'_

_ I lightly close my eyes with sleep filling my mind as my hand carries the object swiftly across my milky white skin. A stinging feeling courses through my arm, making me stop immediately. That's when the voice in my head speaks again._

_ 'That's not enough.'_

_ What do you mean?_

_ 'You wanted to be free of this life, I know that. That was your plan when you grabbed the piece of metal. That's not enough.'_

_ I open my eyes and even though I see red blood on my skin, I just stare at it, absently. When my mind takes control over my actions once again, my hands continue their assaults on my arms. As more pain starts to form within my nerves, I begin to come to my senses and realize what is happening. With wide eyes, I drop the now-red metal and a high-pitched 'clink' noise resonates within the bathroom._

_ I rush over to the sink and hastily turn on the cold water to help stop the bleeding. What was I thinking? I reach underneath the cabinet and pull out some cloth. As I finish wrapping my wounds, I involuntarily collapse onto my knees. I have told myself so many times not to commit suicide. I am not weak and not one to quit, so why the hell did I do that? _

_It's because I'm tired...that's all. I just need to get some sleep._

_ I'm not thinking clearly._

_ I wearily stand up and clean up the mess I have created, but refrain from throwing away the silver metal. I place it back in its rightful spot, but only because I don't want to waste unnecessarily._

_The next days pass as the ones before them. Angelina doesn't ask about the marks on my arms, which makes me relieved. I don't want to have to explain my momentary incident of insanity. But, if I say that it was insanity, then doesn't that make it sane? My parents always told me that if someone tells you they are sane, they are not. Does the same apply the other way around? I honestly don't know. And at this point, I don't care._

_I am not sure what day it is today, but I am still not allowed to leave the house. I was able to take off my bandages earlier, so my skin can finally breathe now. To avoid Angelina's slightly questioning glances at my arms, I have taken to wearing long-sleeved shirts. Considering the winter weather, I don't much mind. As I walk down the hall, I notice Angelina at the door, talking to someone. Curious, I head over to the open door and stand next to Angelina._

_My mind stills for a moment as I see Sebastian and Alois standing before us. Sebastian is here. He came. A smile bursts through and I can't contain my happiness at the sight of my love. My tail swishes behind me as I feel my ears tilt forward on my head. He's here._

_I can't take my stare away from the captivating ruby eyes that seem to be watching my soul. All I want to do right now is melt into his arms and stay there forever. I want to leave this place and be with Sebastian again, because _he came for me_._

_Angelina's voice cuts through the peaceful silence as she asks why Sebastian and Alois are here. As Sebastian does not respond, Alois takes over by telling my aunt about some fundraiser. I know he made that up, in order to hide why they are actually here._

_As Sebastian and I have our staring contest, I start to notice his gaze drifting to my cheek. Oh, that's where my bruise is. When his eyes trail over my arms, I start to feel nervous. I really don't want him to see the evidence of my sudden madness. He frowns and his eyebrows knit together the longer he studies my form. I shift my gaze to his hands and notice that they are tightly curled into fists, with a bit of blood seeping through his fingers._

_I don't need to ask myself why he is so angry. I know it is because of my appearance. He shouldn't be mad, though. Since the reason I look like this is my fault. I haven't eaten as much as I should have, I attempted to escape Angelina, and I...well the last part I can blame on my sleep-deprived state._

_Alois says something more to Angelina and forcefully drags Sebastian away from the house. As soon as my aunt closes the door and locks it, she leaves and I am left standing. So close..._

* * *

It is later in the day now, but I am not sure of the time. Angelina has not spoken a word to me since Sebastian visited, but that's normal. She doesn't know who Alois or Sebastian are, so she has no reason to be suspicious. I take another bite of my tilapia fish, finishing my plate, and Angelina excuses herself. I assume she is going to make another phone call.

I carry my dishes to the kitchen and head to my room again. She didn't lock me in here today, but I still prefer being within my own space to having a slight chance of running into her. I sit down at my desk and pick up a picture I started about two weeks ago. It's not very complex; just a light pencil drawing of a pair of eyes. I didn't have any colors to use, but the picture doesn't need any color to show that the eyes are crimson.

Putting down the paper, I head to the restroom and close the door behind me. Before I advance any further in the room, the same piece of metal as before, shines. I timidly reach out and take a hold of it, not sure of what to do.

_ 'Do it.'_

I grit my teeth and glare at the item in my hand as it mocks me. "No."

_'You're too weak to do something so simple?'_

"Shut up," I try telling the voice in my head.

_'You wanted to end your life, but you can't even do that?'_

"Shut _up_."

_'Your father could never be proud of someone so weak.'_

"SHUT UP!"

_'You know it's true.'_

There's a loud sound coming from downstairs. My hands tighten around the metal blade as I ignore that noise and listen to the voice in my head.

_'End it all.'_

The sounds grow louder as I continue to ignore them and raise the blade to my throat.

_'Do it.'_

The door to my bedroom opens and I can hear footsteps walking around within. I ignore them completely and allow my mind to control my actions; letting the sharp metal come into contact with my skin.

I close my eyes.

The door opens.

"CIEL!"

I put more pressure on my throat, but a firm hand tears me away from my actions. Another hand removes the blade from my fingers as I slowly open my eyes. Ruby eyes stare directly at me as Sebastian kneels down to be eye level with me. Confusion is written all over my face as I start to come to my senses and realize that Sebastian is holding my wrists.

"Ciel, what the hell were you doing?"

Still in shock, I can only stare into Sebastian's eyes as he moves his hands to grip my shoulders. "Sebastian..."

Something changes in his expression, as I mention his name, and he leans forward to smother me in one of the most comforting hugs I have ever had. He rests his head in between my ears as they flicker slightly and I bury my face in his chest with a smile.

"Please don't hurt yourself anymore, Ciel. I can't bare seeing you in so much pain."

My arms find themselves wrapped around Sebastian's neck as I try to cover myself with the scent of the raven haired male. I don't bother asking why he is here, since the question doesn't form in my head.

"I missed you so much, Sebastian. _So much._"

His response is a tighter embrace and a smile against my scalp.

"I love you," I say without thinking.

"And I you," he breathes into my hair. My purring erupts from within me as he tells me this and it's louder than I've ever heard it before.

Someone enters the room and coughs slightly, causing us to part. An officer in blue stands in the doorway and looks as though he knows he just interrupted something. He tells Sebastian that everything has been taken care of and quickly exits the room. This confuses me even more, since I have no insight as to what is happening. Why is Sebastian even here right now? Said male looks back to me with a warm smile and starts to explain.

"Alois and I went to the police, reporting your aunt's abuse and neglect for you after we saw you today. She was arrested just now and will be dealt with by the police."

I gape when he says that Angelina was arrested. Does that mean I'm free? I can leave?

"And also, I have taken care of a few papers." A pause. "I hope you don't mind, but I am now your official guardian."

A smile overflows from my lips as I uncharacteristically wrap my arms around his torso. He encircles my waist with his arms and pulls back slightly. When I look up at him, he leans down and captures my lips in a kiss that I melt into.

"Uhm, guys?"

I abruptly pull away and look at Alois as a deep red hue spreads on my cheeks. He smiles and quickly walks over to me, causing me to notice the water in his eyes. Before I can say anything on the matter, he attacks me with a bone-crushing hug.

"Ciel~! I'm so glad you're alright!" After many minutes, Alois releases me. He grips my shoulders and stares directly into my eyes. "You are alright, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine," but this time, I actually do mean it.

When we all shuffle into Sebastian's car and end up at his house, I make my way over to the couch and nearly fall onto it in exhaustion. Someone laughs at my actions, but I am too tired to notice if it is Alois or Sebastian. It's probably Alois. I really don't know, but I know that I'm falling asleep in Sebastian's house; and that makes me happy.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N:**** The much-anticipated Sebby and Ciel fluff has arrived~! (Main plot will resume soon)**

**Warnings:**** Mild language (Well, from Alois...but, that's expected). c:**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

Chapter IV (Not proofread)

"What are you doing, Alois?"

"Damn, Sebastian, do you have short-term memory loss or something? I told you, I'm helping."

"I don't see how _petting Ciel_ is helping."

"He'll sleep more peacefully this way. Haven't you ever pet a sleeping cat?"

"You do know I have three cats, right? And besides, Ciel is not a cat."

"I know that."

"Stop touching him."

"Why? Oh...could it be, that you are jealous?"

"Alois."

"Relax, it's not like I'm going to run off with him. I wouldn't have anywhere to go, anyway..."

"You said that you ran away from Claude earlier, correct?"

"Yes, why?"

"Where have you been staying?"

"Uh...I was..."

I blink my eyes open and brush away the sleep that was just covering my mind as I hear the two voices bickering around me. I rub my eyes and sit up, not registering the fact that Alois is right next to me on the couch. But, I do notice an extremely nice comfort emanating from my ears. Just as I realize that this feeling is Alois' doing, he notices that I am awake and removes his hands.

"Look what you've done, Sebastian! Now Ciel's awake because of your talking." Alois then leans over and hugs me with a smile on his face. I am really too groggy to even care what he's doing right now. I focus my eyes and see that Sebastian is walking over to me, with a barely visible frown on his face. As Alois pulls his head back to look at Sebastian, the latter abruptly separates the blonde from my body. Alois' response is a pout and a huff, but he doesn't seem too upset as he scoots over on the couch. Sebastian has a smile return to his face as he replaces Alois' previous seat with himself.

I smile up at his crimson eyes as he runs his hand through my hair and pets my ears.

"I'm glad you're okay," he coos.

My cheeks burn with heat as he continues his loving gesture, but I try to ignore my blush and lean on his shoulder.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"Not really. Angelina made fish just before you found me," I tell him as I situate myself closer to his form. He's so warm~

"If you're certain," he says with a hint of doubt in his voice.

The television in front of us three glows with various colors as the time ticks by. After half an hour, of Sebastian scratching my ears, he ceases his movements. This causes me to almost pout, but I still have a _sliver_ of pride left, so I don't. I maintain my position of leaning against him as he starts to speak.

"I think I'll go brew some tea. I will return shortly," Sebastian informs us as he excuses himself from the room.

I sit up straight and absently reach up to let my fingers graze over the surface of my ear. I frown slightly when I realize that it doesn't feel the same as it does when Sebastian pets me.

"Hey, Ciel," Alois calls me from where Sebastian previously sat. I lower my hand, in embarrassment, and turn to face the boy. He smiles at me and the smile is extremely genuine. When he raises his hand and starts stroking my ear, I give him a questionable look, but don't stop him. _I can trust Alois._ His smile grows even more as he continues and switches ears. I blush as I realize that I actually enjoy the affection from the blonde and shift my gaze away from his ice-blue irises.

What he does next, I don't expect at all. Alois uses his free hand to wrap around my shoulders and gently pull me closer to him. I flinch involuntarily, not prepared for the action, and my body immediately tenses. "It's alright, Ciel. I won't hurt you," he breathes into my tingling ear. I calm down slightly at his words and allow myself to rest on his shoulder.

Alois, once again, breaks the silence. "Ciel, do you mind me...asking you something?" I nod my head in approval, since the blissful feeling on my head makes me think I wouldn't be able to form an answer. He continues, "Why...why did you cut yourself?"

I frown, not because of Alois, but because of my earlier actions. I don't want to talk about this. I can't just say how I suddenly felt so lost that I thought I had only one way out. I can't tell him how I thought my happiness would never return to me, since Sebastian broke his promise of never leaving me. I don't want someone knowing that I went mad and harmed myself in a moment of insanity. I don't want him knowing that I desperately wanted to kill myself. _I don't want..._

My thoughts are cut short when the boy beside me places the palm of his hand on my cheek beneath my left eye. I wince when the bruise from the other day is touched, which the blonde notices and lightens the pressure. He brushes his thumb over the purple skin lightly, so it isn't painful, and I look in his eyes. He looks so...sad.

"Ciel," he takes a pause before speaking again, "whatever shit that bitch did to you, I'll make sure none of it happens again."

Not shocked with his foul language, in the least, I smile at him and almost laugh. Yes, I can trust Alois.

The kitchen door opening tells me that Sebastian has just entered the room. When his footsteps stop abruptly, I can assume that he sees the current situation. The 'current situation,' being Alois, with his arm around me and his hand on my cheek, as I am leaning on him. I don't think that will come across too well with Sebastian.

"Alois," Sebastian's low voice causes said boy to flinch. I don't blame him, though; Sebastian sounds as if he's going to kill someone. Namely Alois. Sebastian continues speaking as Alois and I turn to face him. "What are you doing?" There is a smile planted on the raven haired male's face, but it's not a 'nice to see you' smile, it's an 'I'm going to tear off your arm and feed it to the dogs' smile.

"What? It's not like I was _doing _anything. Jeez," Alois defensively replies. I think the blonde has a deathwish, since he turns back to me and continues to _scratch my ears_ as if nothing's wrong. Sebastian stalks over to us and just before he stands in front of Alois, I feel the tingling in my ears stop. "You're no fun."

When I assess the situation, I notice that Sebastian is carrying a tray of tea and setting it down on the table in front of us. I smile warily as he hands me a cup and I carefully grip it between my hands. He, then, sits down on the other side of me and takes a sip of his own cup. I hear Alois groan in annoyance as his cup is not handed to him and he reaches over to take it.

Glad that Sebastian has not done anything harmful to Alois, I try to change the subject. "Alois, why are you here? I mean...what happened with...Claude?" I have to use all of my willpower to refrain from shuddering at the mention of _Claude._

The blonde hesitates for a fraction of a second, before taking a sip of his tea and placing it back on the table with a sour look on his face. "I don't like this tea," he says, obviously trying to change the subject. If he didn't say 'tea,' I would have thought he meant talking about Claude. He probably does, though.

As I open my mouth to say something else, a noise stops my actions.

"Mrow~"

A cat.

Immediately, Sebastian stands on his feet and searches for the source of the noise. I rub my head in annoyance as he wanders around the house for his cat. I'm not annoyed because he left and, therefore, I don't have the warm feeling in my chest anymore. Of course not. It's because he's...he's just being...idiotic. _Ugh. _I can't even lie to _myself. _He needs to come back here and sit next to me. _I miss him already._

"Berry, why are you out here? Did Timmy put you up to this?" Sebastian finally finds the cat and picks it up, cradling it in his arms. He sighs and carries it over to where Alois and I are. Why? I have no idea. In case he has forgotten:_ I'm allergic._ "You have met Ciel before, Berry. This is Alois," he says as he tilts the feline's head so it is directly in front of Alois' face.

The blonde glares at the cat for a moment as the latter stares, unblinking, right back at him. Done with their staring contest, Alois smiles and scratches the cat's neck. Berry lifts his chin up and closes his eyes, drowning in the affection being given to him. I roll my eyes and cross my arms, still not happy about the fact that Sebastian chose a cat over me. _Tch._

"Did you want to cuddle with me, Berry?" Sebastian offers to his cat as he sits down on the couch again.

My mood sours.

"You shouldn't listen to Timmy, Berry. He's not a good influence on you. He's always trying to plan escapes and ways to tip over..."

"Psst, Ciel," Alois whispers to me.

I turn my attention over to him and try to ignore Sebastian's monologue to Berry. "Yeah?" I ask.

"That cat is stealing your time with Sebastian. You know that, right?"

My face heats up to unreachable temperatures as Alois watches me and waits for a response. I know that the cat is taking away my Sebastian time, but what can I do about it?

"Shut up," I half-heartedly glare at Alois as he holds back a laugh.

"Berry, do you want to see Ciel?" Sebastian asks his cat.

My ears perk up and I turn my head to face Sebastian as he mentions my name, and narrow my eyes as I look at where he is supposed to be. Instead of the one I love, I see the face of a cat. My eyes are mere centimeters away from that of Berry's. His round eyes blink for a moment as he sticks his head out even more and sniffs my face. The dark coloring of his nose wiggles a bit as he familiarizes himself with my scent. Sebastian is _holding Berry up to my face. _With wide eyes, I instinctively push the cat away, fully expecting an attack with claws. That attack doesn't come, however, since Sebastian has already retracted Berry and is now cradling him against his chest.

I frown at the sight of Sebastian cuddling with Berry and petting his stomach. But not because I'm jealous.

_Yes it is._

I'm jealous of that stupid feline! Why should he get to be that close to Sebastian? All that cat has done is sleep and eat and I don't like the situation. Not. _One_. **_Bit_**. Sebastian's cats all seem suspicious to me. Especially Tommy. He is never around and I feel like he's going to attack one day and I will be the one to say 'I told you so.'

An idea floats to the surface of my mind as I think of how to rid myself of this jealousy and regain my well-deserved Sebastian time. I stare right into Berry's eyes as he lazily looks at me and I bare my teeth at the feline. His eyes open a bit wider as the fur on my ears and tail stands on end and a noise growls from within my throat. I open my mouth and loudly hiss at the cat, causing it to make a strangled noise and hurriedly scurry out of Sebastian's arms.

I smirk to myself.

It fades when I realize that Sebastian is glaring at me. He has been glaring at me this whole time and I haven't noticed it until just now. Great, now he's mad at me because I scared his cat away. Well, it's not my fault. _He's_ the one who picked up Berry in the first place.

"Ciel." It's not a glare anymore; it's an expression of...something I've seen him wear before. "That was beyond adorable." _Oh._

The heat that left my cheeks earlier has returned with a vengeance now and the only thing I can do, is turn away and hide it beneath my hair. Sebastian laughs lightly at this and I frown even more when I realize what I've just done. No wonder he's laughing.

In less than a few seconds, Sebastian has encircled my waist with his arms and pulled me back, my spine flush against his chest. Instead of squirming and trying to hide my red face, I immediately lean back and smile happily. I hear Alois mutter something to Berry and the former soon has the cat in his arms.

My tail sways in bliss when Sebastian starts to rub circles on my chest and stomach. I purr lightly at the feeling and close my eyes, trying to savor the moment. I barely hear Alois talking to Berry and telling him how he 'should purr too' and he's 'too quiet.' I smile even more to myself, since I know the reason Berry isn't purring. He's not in Sebastian's arms: _I am._ And I can't get enough of it.

Sebastian's warm breath heats the inside of my furry ear as he whispers, "I'm so glad you're okay, Ciel."

In response, I nudge my head up to his chin and purr louder. He takes this as a sign to raise his hand and scratch just beneath my jaw. _Oh...t__hat's nice_.

"Nnh~" I slur and raise my head higher, allowing him to scratch even more than before. Once again, I hear Alois say something to Berry about how he should 'stop being so quiet.' That's when I realize that Alois hears my noises. My cheeks blush and I almost pull away from Sebastian, but his arm around my waist and hand under my chin stop me immediately. I nearly melt into the raven haired male as I think of how I regained my Sebastian time.

* * *

**A/N:**** I have not proofread this at all, since I wanted to let you guys have a chapter before I went to sleep. I hope you enjoyed! Goodnight~ :3**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N:**** I'm sorry about the delayed chapter. School has left me with no time to write. **(Fun fact: whenever I type, "Yawn," I actually yawn. *O*)

**Warnings:**** I really enjoyed writing this chapter. I hope you enjoy reading it~ (Secret warning)**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Xander Lilly:**** Awe, thank you~! I'm so extremely flattered that I'm an inspiration to you. :3 I'm really glad my story is to your liking. I hope you accomplish your dream and become a great writer in the future! If you love to write, then I'm positive you can do it. c: Good luck~!**

Chapter V

"Alois, tell me."

"It doesn't matter!"

Sebastian, Alois and I, are all sitting around the dining room table, interrogating Alois. Sebastian and I have been wondering where the blonde has been living since he ran away from Claude, so we decided to ask.

"Yes it does," Sebastian says.

Alois huffs and crosses his arms, avoiding both of our gazes. His light blue eyes hold secrets that don't want to be shared as they stare defiantly at the carpet, but, I can tell that his mind is desperately trying to shout for help.

"Alois, have you been living _anywhere_?" I ask.

And there's the crack in his performance: he flinches.

"You haven't anywhere to go, do you?" I question.

He reluctantly lifts his gaze to meet my own and _smiles. _It's cold and forced, though. I frown and he starts to speak in a detached voice.

"It's alright...I get by fine."

I open my mouth to press the subject more, but Sebastian beats me to it.

"You're staying here," he states calmly as he crosses his arms and leans back on his chair.

"Wh-What...?" Alois' wide eyes are accompanied by a hopeful smile as he stares at Sebastian.

I glance over at the raven haired male, questioningly, and notice his simultaneous glance in my direction. We lock eyes for a fraction of a second and I come to a realization: Sebastian thinks of Alois as a friend and doesn't want him to be living in the gutter. I take a sip of my tea and also assume that he doesn't want Alois to start living in alleyways, as I used to do. Though, we still don't have an answer as to where Alois has been living.

"While we sort everything out, you can stay here. Simply a temporary living arrangement," Sebastian adds.

I shift my eyes to Alois and notice that he looks like he's about to jump out of his seat in joy. Right on cue, I blink and see the blonde boy rise from the chair and leap onto Sebastian; wrapping his arms around him. I almost gape at the fact that the red eyed male allows this to happen. Before I can even attempt to hiss at Alois, the boy cheerily returns to his chair. I frustratingly sigh to myself when I replay the scene of Alois hugging Sebastian in my head over and_ over_.

"Sebastian," I say as I stand from my chair and walk over to his.

"Hmm?" he asks with a hum.

Without an invitation, I situate myself onto his lap and lean back onto him, smiling to myself. I hear him chuckle behind me and my smile fades somewhat at the familiar sound. Why is he laughing at me?

"No need to be jealous, Ciel," Sebastian coos into my ear.

The temperature of my face heats up instantly and I frown when I can't control my blush. "S-Shut up," I retort with no confidence and cross my arms.

The light red hue dusting my cheeks turns into beet red when Sebastian curls his arms around me. Well, I can't complain...since I am the one who voluntarily sat on his lap. His black locks brush over my furry ears and they flicker at the slight tickling feeling. His warm breath crosses the surface of my hair as he ignores my comment and continues speaking. "I am yours only, Ciel."

"Where's the loo?"

Alois' blunt question causes me to almost laugh. Almost. Sebastian, however, _does _laugh.

* * *

"I'll return in a few hours. Alois, don't let him out of your sight," Sebastian tells Alois.

"Don't worry, I won't."

Sebastian frowns and narrows his eyes as Alois wraps his arm around my shoulders. "And don't touch him."

Alois sticks his tongue out, playfully, and pulls me into a hug for a second before releasing me completely. I hide my blush and look up to Sebastian, pleadingly.

"It's alright, Ciel. I will try to finish up my work as soon as possible," Sebastian says, soothingly.

"Bye Sebastian~!" Alois shouts.

My ears fall back on my head, in a lowered mood, as I see Sebastian turn around and leave. Even though his good friend has been taking care of his work, Sebastian had to return at some point. I sigh and head over to my room, intending to sleep the day away.

"Ciel, where are you going?"

"My room."

Just as I enter my room and take a step onto the blue carpet, I see Alois walk ahead of me and plop down on my bed. My eye twitches with annoyance as he rolls around on the covers, smiling to himself.

"Hmm...Ciel, you smell nice.~"

Once again, my uncontrollable blush appears and I try to ignore it as best I can.

"Alois, get off my bed."

The blonde reluctantly sits up straight and pouts, but doesn't remove himself from the bed. I sigh and walk around to the other side of my mattress, trying to make a point.

"Oh, were you going to go to bed?"

I nod.

"Well, Sebastian told me not to let you out of my sight...so..."

I sit down on the edge of the comforter and widen my eyes as I see Alois start to take off his shirt.

"A-Alois! What are you doing?"

He looks over to me as he starts to slip off his shoes and socks with a confused expression. "What?"

"You can't sleep in here! And without clothes, no less!"

"Oh, calm down, Ciely. I'm just going to take a nap with you. I don't have any sleepwear, but it's not like I'm going to be _naked_ or anything," he says as he finishes removing his socks and folds back the covers. "Well, come on."

I frown and stand back up, not comfortable with the whole situation. "No."

"You're so sensitive, CiCi. Don't worry, I'm just supposed to keep an eye on you and I can't do that if we're in separate rooms."

I unwillingly stifle a yawn and notice Alois' smiling eyes watching me. I barely hear the comment of 'so cute,' from the other side of the bed as Alois sits down and pats the mattress.

"Fine."

After changing into more comfortable clothes, I walk back into my room and close the door behind me. The first thing I notice, is Alois' sleeping form sprawled out underneath the covers. At least he won't bother me anymore. I waltz over to the unoccupied side of the bed and position myself underneath the covers, with my back facing Alois.

* * *

A heated chest presses against my back, along with a pair of arms around my waist, causing me to tiredly open my eyes. With the sleepy half-intention of slapping Alois, I ready myself to turn around, but stop. This person...doesn't feel like Alois at all. With almost no light in the room whatsoever, I take a few seconds to adjust my eyes to the darkness and notice that it is night already. How long have I been sleeping?

"Ciel..."

My heart stops when I feel the person behind me whisper into my ear. The sleep that clouds my mind starts to slowly leave as the seconds tick by, but it still won't completely vanish. Where is Alois...?

"Wh—" I start to ask what is going on, but am interrupted.

"I missed you."

My breath hitches in my throat as my mind starts to slightly clear a bit more. With every breath the man behind me takes, I feel the hot air on my neck and cheek. Less than a second later, the bedroom door opens and light from the hallway shines into the room.

"What the hell?" I hear Alois' scratchy voice from the doorway ask. He sounds like he just woke up. Why wasn't he in here? "Why the hell was I on the couch, Sebastian?"

I let out all of my breath in a relieved sigh when Alois says 'Sebastian.' So Sebastian is holding me, then.

_Wait._

"Sebastian?!"

I feel a smirk against my neck and a laugh erupting within his chest as I squirm in his arms.

"Well, since you're busy being Ciel's pillow, I'm sleeping in your room then."

The door closes and the darkness fills the room once again.

"I missed you, Ciel.~"

"S-Shut...up," I say, glad my back is facing him. I don't want him to see my red face of embarrassment.

"Hmm...alright." He tightens his grip on my stomach and his nose brushes against my neck as he snuggles against me. I close my eyes with a smile, feeling extremely safe with Sebastian so close. My smile grows as I realize that I didn't have to put any effort into this situation for it to happen.

It fades just as quickly as it arrived, when Sebastian moves his arm away from my waist and onto my own arm. Why is he—

_Oh._ My newly-formed injuries that I acquired at Angelina's.

"Ciel...I'm sorry."

My heart nearly breaks when he says this. Why is he sorry?

"I broke my promise."

His promise...

_'I shall never leave your side, Ciel.'_

When I was taken away at the festival, he made me a promise of never leaving me...right before we had a separation of all those weeks.

Sebastian's voice lowers as he whispers against my ear, "I broke my promise to you...you didn't deserve that at all. I'm so sorry."

I feel my eyes sting with a burning feeling that I remember to be the beginnings of tears. He remembers the promise he made so long ago. He remembers...

"_You didn't deserve that._" His velvety voice changes and barely shows a hint of anger. The vague sentence has me believing that he isn't talking about his promise anymore. The hand on my arm traces the outlines of my scars and I bring my knees to my chest, not wanting to remember the past. The sharp blade crossing my skin, leaving behind red liquid in its wake, pierces through my mind in a memory.

A much worse memory bleeds through the repressed sections of my mind, showing vivid scenes of my past, without warning.

Not now...

_ The pain shooting through the top of my head and the end of my spine as the experiments are carried out cause me to scream so much, my lungs feel like they are about to burst. Loud, high-pitched sounds scratch at my eardrums as the torturous tools dig roughly through my skin._

Not now...

_'Can someone get a damn rag or something? It's bleeding all over my shoes.'_

_ 'We've used them all, already.'_

Not...now...

_'S-St-op...s-top...p-plea...se...' My barely audible voice only reaches the ears of my own mind as I silently cry out for help from the blinding pain. Nobody hears my never-ending pleas as the burning torture intensifies even more, along with my screams._

"Shh...it's okay, Ciel...I'm here. I'll protect you," Sebastian's calming voice lifts me from within my memories and brings me back to reality.

I open my eyes and see Night brightly glowing through the window in the room, letting me know that I'm not in _that room_ anymore.

"Please don't cry, Ciel. It will be alright." Sebastian's arm lightly tightens around me as he lifts his other to erase the salty water on my cheeks. I'm..._crying?_

Not being able to find my voice, I remain silent and attempt to calm myself as Sebastian continues whispering comforting phrases into my ear. As soon as my vision clears and I begin to breathe normally, I roll over to face Sebastian. I bury my face into his chest, not willing to let him see my overflowing emotions. His steady heartbeat is loud against my ears and it brings a small smile to my face.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure?"

Listening to his voice that is directed specifically towards me causes my tail to swish underneath the blankets in uneven movements. I raise my hands to grip the material of his shirt and snuggle into him as he runs his fingers through my hair.

"Mhm," I purr.

A loud crash, along with a shout, causes both of us to flinch instinctively.

"What was that?" I ask as I lift my head to look at the closed door.

"I'm not sure."

"Argh, shit!" Alois' voice is clearly audible past the door and I frown in annoyance.

Sebastian and I both, reluctantly, stand up and open the door, ready to face whatever Alois has done.

"Alois, may I ask just what it is you are doing?" Sebastian steps in front of me and walks up to Alois, who is now picking up small pieces of glass from the ground.

"Uh...well..." the blonde stammers as he stands up, trying to find an explanation. "It's not my fault! That devil cat of yours did it!"

Sebastian raises an eyebrow.

"Well, he didn't _actually_ do it...but it's his fault. I was just trying to get a damn glass of water, when he comes trotting over to me and _purposefully_ trips me. And I don't even know which one it was!"

Sebastian raises another eyebrow. I assume it's from Alois' language.

"Look! There he is!" The blonde angrily points to one of Sebastian's cats walking by as the latter sniffs the pieces of broken glass on the carpet. Alois steps a foot closer to him and squints as the former tries to read the name on the cat's ribbon-collar. "...Tommy."

I inwardly chuckle to myself. _I told you so._


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:**** This took me **_**so **_**long to write, since I had to recap everything and re-read previous chapters. *-* (Prepare yourself for an extremely long chapter~!)**

**Warnings: ****Disturbing thoughts (including mild gore), strong language (Alois).**

**Point of View:**** Alois Trancy**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** Yes, lots o' fluff. :3 Awe, thank you so much~! Haha, and thank you for the salute. c:**

**End Note:**** This POV starts the morning of the festival, when Alois fights with Claude behind Sebastian's house. (I cut most of the events that already happened out, since I didn't want to drag the chapter out too much.)**

Chapter VI (Mostly Proofread)

My hand hurts.

I punched a wall and my hand fucking hurts. It's not like I punched the wall of Sebastian's house on_ purpose._ If Claude wasn't such an arse, I wouldn't be injured and in pain right now. Sometimes I wish I was oblivious to everything around me. That way, I wouldn't know what effects Claude's actions cause. I would be happy. But, that isn't the case. I am aware...I am _well _aware of what is happening. Well, not right now. Right now, I am sitting outside of my house, on the porch. I'm not going to go inside, with that _creep_ in there. So, without anything to do but sit, here I am.

That is, until I hear Claude's voice. He's talking to someone, but his is the only voice I hear. He must be talking on the phone then. _Ugh. _I can't _stand _him. Just his voice makes me want to take a knife and stab it through his skull. When I imagine the look of shock in his eyes as I plunge the blade through his head, I can't help but smile to myself. The blood seeping through his skin like water...that would be nice, wouldn't it? Maybe I could suffocate him while he's sleeping. That. _That_ would be hilarious. To see him squirming under the pillow on his face as it slowly smothers the life from his body. My smile grows when I imagine the scene playing out before me with vivid details.

Well, I could have him 'accidentally' tumble down the stairs. His body, rolling down the staircase, only to land at the base with a low 'thump.' Would it be a 'thump'? Maybe it would be a 'crunch'. I wonder what sounds _he_ would make with each step down. Would he even make a sound? That would be lovely~, to see him finally make a sound. Not _just_ a sound, though. I've heard him make plenty of those. An _unplanned_ sound.

I suppose he would make an unplanned sound no matter which method I use, though, wouldn't he? A sharp cry as I dig the knife straight through his skull; muffled shouts for help as I push a pillow onto his nose and mouth; small grunts of pain with each collision as the steps beneath him come into contact with his body; screams of agony with each second that ticks by with his body alight with fire; a shocked gasp from a surprise gunshot to his back. I chuckle to myself when I list the forms of murder in my mind. So many ways...

But...

_Which one?_

* * *

_Dammit, my hand hurts like hell._

The door opens and I almost jump out of my skin at the sudden noise. With a quick turn of my head, I see none other than Claude, stepping out of the house. I glare at him, even if he can't see me, and narrow my eyes when I notice that his actions are slightly more rushed than usual. He closes the door behind him and hesitates for a fraction of a second, as he spares me a glance, but soon leaves. I almost scoff. Well, I do, actually.

I scoff at him because of how utterly _ridiculous _he is. Even after the fight we had earlier, he still manages to find something 'important' to do. I'm rather surprised that he hasn't even laid a finger on me since we left Sebastian's. It's nice. But, at the same time, I feel like he's going to snap. He's done this before. Something gets him all mad, he avoids me for a while, then he lashes out at me. _Ugh, he's so fucking annoying._

As he leaves my sight, I come to the conclusion that he will probably do something idiotic again. With that in mind, I stand up and trail after him. I just hope he isn't going to go after Ciel. But, knowing him, he most likely is.

The longer we walk, the more confused I become. Where is he going? I've never even been to this part of town before. Just as I think that he can't go any further down the street, he turns a corner and heads into a building. Said building is grey with dark blue window panes and doors. It's the police station.

What the bloody hell is he _doing_?

I near the building and peer into the nearest window as he heads inside. I see him talking to one of the policemen, acting frantic and gesturing as if he's just been attacked. He's practically _yelling _at the officer. I step back from my perch outside the window and bolt in the direction of Sebastian and Ciel's house. Claude is such an idiot. I can't think of a reason, other than to get to Ciel, that he would do this. That's why I am currently running to Ciel's house, to let him know what I do.

Not many people are on the streets, as they usually are, probably because of the festival in town. I don't know much about the whole thing, but I think all of the local businesses join in the event. Since Claude and I moved here not too long ago, I'm not too familiar with—

"Hey!"

I don't know how, but I have just managed to ram into another person. As I fall to the ground and hit my rear on the sidewalk, most likely causing a bruise, the person in front of me does as well. A small noise that resembles a 'crunch' sounds and I assume the person in front of me has just dropped something. And it broke.

"No! It's broken! No...no, no, no!"

Not having the time available to talk, I stand up and ready myself to dart past this person. Before I can move, though, this person's voice stops me.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

I frown, not wanting to delay the news I need to deliver to Ciel, and finally take note of this person. I say 'person,' because I am not exactly sure if it is a male or female. I'm going to say male. This guy is overflowing with red colors and has extremely red hair that is much longer than normal. And is that...makeup?

...Alright, then.

I need to hurry this along. "What do you _need_?" I ask with absolutely no care as to what he needs. Or she. I'm not too sure right now.

He gasps, as if I offended his mother or something. "What do I _need_? I need you to take on your responsibilities as a man and help a lady such as myself!" A she? "I mean really!"

"I'll ask again. What do you _need_?"

'She' huffs and gestures to the ground in an overly-dramatic way. "Pick up the mess you made! All of these photos are going to be ruined now. It will take forever to get the perfect shots again! Especially considering the main attraction is so far ahead of me now._ And_ my brand new camera is broken! No, this will never do!"

I can't waste all of my time talking to this man/woman.

"Ugh, _fine._"

I kneel on the concrete and start shuffling the photos together, but stop abruptly when I notice the images on the photos. What is this...? Every single picture has a main theme of one person: Sebastian. They don't exactly look voluntary on Sebastian's part, though. Quite frankly, they look like they were taken by a stalker in a tree.

"Why—" I start to ask, but am interrupted as the redhead realizes what I am about to say.

"Isn't he gorgeous~? I just can't get enough of him~."

"Uhm..." I am at a loss for words as I stand and hand him...her...the pictures.

"Well, kid, I can't stay here and scold you for your terribly manners right now, I need to catch up to my Bassy~! He's probably already at the festival by now!"

Before I can say anything else, the feminine guy dashes away and rounds a corner. So then, Sebastian is at the festival? Most likely, that means Ciel will be there as well. That was convenient.

* * *

As I start to see more colors, sounds, and people, I assume that I am nearing the festival. My only hope is that Ciel and Sebastian are actually here. If they aren't, I don't know where else to go. They could be at Sebastian's house though, if that he/she was delusional. That is Plan B.

The festival is in full-swing and people are _everywhere._ They are all chatting and eating random fried foods. They look like a bunch of fish, trapped in a bowl, all moving around each other. I don't understand this place at all. How can so many people fit into such a small area? More importantly...

_How the hell am I going to find Ciel in here?_

After a few minutes of desperate running and pushing random strangers aside, I see something a ahead of my vision. The figure is one of a human, but the closer I become, the more it resembles a dark blue feline. Ears atop a human skull; a tail below a human spine. _Ciel._ My running speed increases even _more _as I take a glance behind me and see faint outlines of a few police cars in the distance. I didn't think they would catch up to me so quickly. _Ugh, _that run-in with that woman/man messed up everything. I need to reach Ciel before they can.

But, wait, are they coming for Ciel? I just assumed that they were, but fear is starting to grip my being when I see the cars come closer and closer. What was Claude doing back there? How did the police even know that Ciel would be at the festival, if that's who they are after?

As soon as I think I am within hearing distance, I shout the boy's name. "Ciel!"

He looks at me with growing confusion painted across his face as I try to gain his attention. He meets me halfway, so I don't have to continue my endless running, as I attempt to catch my breath. When I place my hands on my knees to draw in long breaths, Ciel asks me a question.

"Alois, what happened to you?"

I stand up, calming my breath slightly, and stare directly into Ciel's deep blue, uncovered, eye. When Sebastian walks over to Ciel's side, I start to explain.

"Ciel," I start, "I couldn't stop him...I couldn't..." I trail off and feel water start to build in my eyes as I watch the fear in Ciel's eye start to spread deeper and deeper into his system. This shouldn't be happening. I could have done something. Claude was at home when I was. I could have rushed into the kitchen, picked up a knife, stabbed through his chest and into his heart, and none of this would have happened.

No...

_I should have killed him long ago._

* * *

Ciel's gone.

He's been taken by the police...and I did _nothing._

It's Claude's fault. Why am I delaying the inevitable? I know I am going to kill him, I just haven't yet. I keep postponing it, hoping to have some miracle occur so I won't be thrown into juvenile hall for first degree murder. Maybe I won't be found guilty though. I just need to make sure it looks like an accident.

A knife through the chest doesn't seem like an accident, though. But, my idea of him 'falling' down stairs does seem legitimate, somewhat. I don't really care. As long as he's rotting, six feet underground, I couldn't care less about what happens to me.

"What are you doing, Alois?"

My brain stalls for a moment, not expecting Claude to speak to me at _all._ Not only that...he doesn't sound mad. Or frustrated. Or...anything. I don't know what to make of it, but it sickens me.

"Wh...What?"

"You have been standing in the same spot for more than ten minutes. _Is something wrong_?"

I almost feel my stomach turn over in disgust. No, I do. I drop the plate I was holding and hear it shatter as I run out of the kitchen and into the nearest bathroom. Nothing could have ever prepared me for what happens next.

Just as I finish my episode, I flush the toilet and sit down on it, trying to calm myself. I almost fall down when Claude enters the bathroom, without warning. My mind freezes over when he gently pulls me into a hug. A fucking _hug._

"_Are you alright_?"

"Get..._get off me Claude_."

As soon as he actually _does _let go of me, I leave the room. He's never acted like this before. Never.

My eyes start to water, making me realize just how wide they are. I blink several times and eventually end up in my room, leaning against the door. _Why is he doing this?_ No. I know why he's doing this. We had a fight that caused me visible injuries. He wouldn't want me going to the police and telling everyone that my guardian caused me bodily harm. He's doing this in the hopes that I will forgive him and let everything go.

There is a better question that I need to ask.

_Why does he genuinely look content?_

* * *

I only gather a few items to bring along with me. One, being the small flashlight Claude gave to me three years ago. Two, being the bluebell hairclip Luka gave to me when he was alive. Four, being the twenty-three pounds I have saved up since I was ten.

It's the middle of the night when I leave. I don't bother telling Claude anything or even spare him a passing thought when I close the front door behind me. I smile to myself when the cold air tickles my face and leaves my hair a mess. Without any direction whatsoever, I walk down the street.

Only a few people are walking along the sidewalks, under the street lamps, since it is so late. Not much snow is beneath my feet, but there is a thin layer still visible. The wind blows a small bundle of clouds in the sky closer to where I am, but none of them show any signs of snow or rain.

I wonder what is happening with Ciel? All I know, is from what I've heard Claude say on the phone. It has always been a habit of mine to listen to his conversations, but most of them have been boring. The most recent conversation I overheard, was Claude talking to some woman in a children's shelter.

I'm not sure, but I have a pretty good guess that Ciel is in that shelter. But, what can I do about it? I'm underage and hold no power whatsoever.

"Oh?"

I come to a stop in my walking when I hear a voice to my left.

"What?" I ask with a 'this better be important' inflection in my voice.

"You remind me of him~. Hehe, but not completely, you see."

I turn to face the man and see someone with grey hair and black clothes. I haven't seen him before. The scar covering a third of his face makes him not easily forgettable, so there is no way I could have seen him before and just forgotten.

"Where are you going, if you don't mind my asking~?" He's smiling.

"I...I don't know. Why?"

"Oh, well that's because," he holds back a few chuckles, "you look a bit _lost._"

"What the hell are you saying?"

"If a place to stay is what you need, my living space is always available~."

Creep.

"No."

"Hehe~ if you happen to change your little mind, my shop is right over there~." He points to his left, down a dark pathway, leading to some old shop.

I frown and ignore him, blocking the option out of my mind. I'm not going to stay with some creepy guy, just because he offered. Although, I'm sure anywhere would be better than with Claude. But, I'm still not accepting his offer. I have _some _common sense left in me.

I stop walking about half an hour later, seriously debating on whether or not to return to Claude's. I call it 'Claude's,' because it's not my house. I don't live there. It's not my _home. _I don't have a home and I don't believe I ever will. That's fine, though, I don't care. Not at all.

As I take another step, I frown in annoyance and groan aloud. I just walked in a damn circle. I mentally facepalm when I turn to my left and see the dark path leading to that creep's shop. A shiver racks through my body when a strong chilly breeze shoots through the night air. How long do I plan on walking around town?

I take a step into the dark area and sigh. Well, it's not like I was going to live long anyway.

* * *

I've been living at Undertaker's 'house' for a while now. I am not sure how long, exactly, since I haven't bothered to count the days. I'm still surprised that he hasn't tried to kill me yet. His house is more like an attachment to the shop he runs. Anyway, I call him 'Undertaker,' because he hasn't officially told me his name. He tells me what he does for a living, which involves dead animals, but doesn't tell me his name. So, I use the sign outside of his shop as his name.

He doesn't seem to mind.

I haven't figured him out yet. He's strange, but not in the sense that he's mad. He's odd, but not in the sense that he's strange. He's...weird. I have my doubts that I will ever understand him, but that doesn't matter. Once the day drags by, I leave the shop, to breathe the fresh air. I usually just wander around the streets, but today I'll visit the park.

I cross the expanse of the green grass and I light up when I see Sebastian underneath a tree. The light dims when I near him and realize that he looks _awful. _I don't expect much from myself, either. No sleep and lack of food can do that to a person.

After a very short conversation, we end up heading over to the nearby orphanage. I recognize the sign on the building as the one mentioned in Claude's conversation over the phone. I tell Sebastian this and he enters the building.

He talks to the woman and she informs him that Ciel has already been adopted. I worry instantly, having my mind shift to think of the worst-case-scenarios. It doesn't last long, since the woman says that Ciel's aunt adopted him. But, I thought Ciel didn't have family.

* * *

"Alois?"

"Yeah?"

Sebastian pauses before asking, "Where is Claude?"

When the image of that bastard flashes in my mind, I frown and cross my arms, trying to will away the disgusting pictures. "I wouldn't know. I ran away."

Without pressing the matter further, Sebastian drives us both to Ciel's 'aunt's' house. The whole neighborhood looks like it's run by upper class, rich people. We walk up to the front of 'Angelina's' house, half-expecting Ciel not to be here, and Sebastian knocks on the door.

Eventually, a woman, who has the same amount of red in her outfit as that man/woman I ran into long ago, answers the door. As Sebastian is about to explain his reason for being here, he stops himself. I don't blame him, since Ciel appears right next to Angelina.

_He's so cute._ _Everything about him is adorable._ I find myself smiling widely at the sight of him, but quickly realize just what I am seeing. Ciel looks..._terrible_. He's extremely thin and abnormally pale. The most massive discolored bruise is painted on his face and I automatically think it is this woman's doing. _Fucking bitch._

She practically spits out, "Why are you here?"

Not wanting to let her know that we plan on removing Ciel from her custody, I change the subject to the first thing that crosses my mind. "Hello Miss! I am selling cookies, for a fundraiser at my school. I am going door to door asking for donations."

She says something. I don't care, I'm too busy trying to maintain my composure. _That whore. Just thinking that someone laid a finger on Ciel..._

"Are you saying you don't want to buy anything, then?" _This bitch is nearing her end, shortly after Claude 'accidentally' meets his._

She says something else, but I can't hear past her sick mind.

"Come on, Sebastian, let's see if the next house wants to buy anything for the fundraiser," I say, with every intention of returning to this house later. I take another look at Ciel and almost jump this woman. As I forcefully drag Sebastian away from a potential fight, Angelina pushes Ciel inside the house. That's it. She just made it to the top of my list. I'm killing her first. I swear, if she even _looks _at Ciel the wrong way again, I'll make her _wish_ she were dead.

Ciel...I hope he's doing alright. He looked so hopeless when I saw him. I know that he doesn't feel the same way about me, but I love him and don't ever want to see him hurt.

* * *

We went to the police earlier and are now at Angelina's door once again. Sebastian told me he talked to the officials and somehow, if Angelina was really neglecting Ciel, he was able to adopt Ciel. Once we arrived at the police station, Sebastian told them that Angelina was neglecting Ciel and that the latter showed signs of abuse. The officers gathered a few of their forces and left to help Ciel, taking us with them. We refused to let them know where Angelina's house was until we tagged along, so they let us.

Now that we are here, the police knock on the door, but receive no answer. They start to shout something, before kicking the door open. When the interior of the house is revealed, Sebastian rushes inside and I lose sight of him as he heads upstairs. He's probably looking for Ciel and I'm fine with that.

As I take a few steps into the house, the sight of Angelina sitting in a plush chair in a corner of the room makes me scowl in disgust. Did she know we were coming? She doesn't say anything as the police spread throughout the house and search for Ciel, but her scarlet eyes follow every movement. I walk up to her and frown even deeper when she smirks at me. The way her eyes look at me makes me want to gouge them out. She doesn't remove her disgusting stare from my glare for a few minutes, as if she's finding some kind of sick enjoyment from my expression.

Something hidden in her sickly sweet voice makes my heart stop for a fraction of a second. "It won't last, you know."

"_What_?"

She ignores my question completely, and her grin grows even more. "_He _has already lost it and I doubt it will return."

"What the _fuck _are you talking about?" I take a step closer to her and narrow my eyes in anger as she speaks with vague sentences.

Before any more words are spoken, two officers raise Angelina from her chair and handcuff her hands behind her back. The two are the only ones who say anything for a few moments, but once they are silent again, and they start dragging her away, she looks over to me. The answer to my question drifts from her red-stained lips and reaches my ears with a shocking clearness I have never heard before.

As soon as she is out of my sight, I kick the chair she was previously sitting in to the ground. Who the fuck does she think she is? She can't just say things like that without a care...as if it's inevitable. It's _not._

I leave the room, to rid myself of this feeling, and see an officer heading in my direction. He tells me that Ciel is with Sebastian 'two more doors down, to the left,' so I rush to that direction. Once I find the door and open it, I hear sounds coming from the bathroom connected to the bedroom. I turn a corner and see Sebastian and Ciel lost together in a kiss.

My heart constricts slightly at the sight, but I push the feeling out the window and make my presence known. "Uhm, guys?"

Ciel snaps his head to look at me and blushes a deep red. If I hadn't seen the razor on the floor and the small cut on his throat, I would have laughed. Sebastian sends me a look that says, 'He's alright,' so I allow myself to calm down slightly. I can't hold back my tears when I see Ciel looking so...happy. He's happy. _He deserves to be._

I attack him in a hug that I've been wanting to give him for so long and smile the widest smile I've ever had. He's so small and fragile, just like a kitten. "Ciel~! I'm so glad you're alright!" I lean back and take a hold of his shoulders, staring directly into his uncovered, cerulean iris. "You are alright, right?"

"Yes, I'm fine."

I release my grip and Sebastian picks up Ciel, causing my chest to constrict again. Ciel holds onto Sebastian's neck, making sure he doesn't fall, and we all pack into the raven haired male's car. The entire trip takes a shorter amount of time than I expect, but I'm fine with that. We end up at Sebastian's house and as soon as he opens the door, Ciel passes out from exhaustion, on the couch. I smile fondly and Sebastian lightly laughs at the sight.

Before Sebastian can take a spot on the couch next to Ciel, I do. But, I make sure not to disturb him, since he looks so content in the cushions. I frown when I see the sleeves of his shirt slightly pulled up, showing red marks covering his pale arms. No..._dammit._ I reach out and gently trace the injuries, not wanting to believe what I'm seeing.

Angelina was right.

_"It won't last, you know."_

_"What?"_

Ciel makes a small noise and curls in on himself, letting his tail droop over his waist. I move my hand to smooth out his silky, blue hair and feel my heart grow heavy when I remember Angelina's wor—

"What are you doing, Alois?"

"Damn, Sebastian, do you have short-term memory loss or something? I told you, I'm helping."

"I don't see how _petting Ciel_ is helping."

"He'll sleep more peacefully this way. Haven't you ever pet a sleeping cat?"

"You do know I have three cats, right? And besides, Ciel is not a cat."

"I know that."

"Stop touching him."

"Why? Oh...could it be, that you are jealous?"

"Alois."

Eventually, when we finish talking, Ciel wakes up and I blame it on Sebastian. The latter promptly sits down next to Ciel, after separating the hug I was giving to the boy. He says he's going to 'brew some tea,' so I take this opportunity. When he leaves, I look over to Ciel and smile inwardly as he tries to pet his own ears.

I scoot over to his side, taking Sebastian's previous spot, and see if my plan will work. "Hey, Ciel."

He abruptly stops what he's doing and blushes in embarrassment. _So cute~. _I reach up and scratch one of his ears and smile even more when I realize that I forgot just how soft they are. When I switch ears, my heart starts to flutter at the close contact with Ciel. I've never been this close to him for so long before. Would he let me...

As I wrap an arm around his shoulders and pull him closer to me, causing him to emit no more protest than a flinch. "It's alright, Ciel. I won't hurt you," I try to coo into his ear. I feel him start to relax and rest his head on my shoulder. _This is too much...he's actually accepting the affection I'm giving him._

I continue petting his ears and can't stop a question from pestering my mind. "Ciel, do you mind me...asking you something?"

He nods.

"Why...why did you cut yourself?" I know this might be the one thing that will make Ciel want to push me away, but I need to know. Immediately, he starts to tense up and I feel the slightest amount of shaking coming from the boy and I instantly regret asking the question.

Angelina's few words won't leave my mind and I need to know the answer to my question. I need to know that she was wrong with what she said. What she said...

_"It won't last, you know."_

_"What?"_

_"He has already lost it and I doubt it will return."_

_"What the fuck are you talking about?"_

_"The will to live."_

Before anything can take a turn for the worse, I try to calm him down. I gently place my palm on his cheek, near the bruise, and lighten the pressure when he winces. The purple is such a contrast from his pale skin, it almost makes _me _wince, just looking at it. When I rub my thumb over the area, he looks at me and I feel my heart sink with all of the pain he must have felt.

"Ciel," I start to say, attempting to help him feel better, "whatever shit that bitch did to you, I'll make sure none of it will happen again."

He smiles a genuine smile and my heart lifts into my throat at the beautiful sight. It falls back down when Sebastian walks into the room.

* * *

Sebastian allowed me to live with him 'temporarily' and I couldn't care less about the Undertaker right now. Maybe I'll tell him that I have a place to stay and thank him for what he's done. He can be weird at times, but overall, he's a nice person. Much nicer than most of the people I have met in my past. All of the items I brought over to his shop are in my pocket right now, so there is no real need to go back there.

Currently, I am about to take a nap with Ciel, since Sebastian is at work. The latter told me to not let Ciel out of my sight and that is my plan. I'll make sure Ciel is safe and I will hold my promise, no matter what.

When Ciel leaves to change into his sleepwear, I situate myself onto his mattress and find that it smells just like him. It's an aroma I can't really describe with words. When I sniff the sheets and comforter, I feel a mixture of emotions that cause the butterflies in my chest to flutter.

I wake up when the wonderful feeling is gone and everything seems cold. Opening my eyes, I sleepily take a look around and notice that I'm on the couch. I bet Sebastian put me here. _Tch. _He's just jealous that I was able to sleep in the same bed as Ciel.

* * *

"Fuck!" One of Sebastian's cats ran in front of me and I dropped the glass I was holding. Just _great. _Now there are shards of glass and a pool of water at my feet. _And _the cat left the crime scene. When I try to gather the pieces of sharp glass, they stab my fingers and I retract my hands instantly. "Argh, shit!"

As soon as Sebastian and Ciel walk in to see my mess, I feel the embarrassment well up within me. But, the most prominent feeling I have right now, is satisfaction. I inwardly smirk when I think that Sebastian didn't spend as much time with Ciel as I did. Although, that doesn't matter much, does it? It's obvious that Ciel doesn't feel the same way about me as he does with Sebastian.

Even if, at times, it can be painful to watch the two interact so lovingly, I'm fine with it. Really, I am. If Ciel is happy, then I have no need to worry. So, right now, I am completely content.


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N:**** Thank you to those who reviewed/favorited/followed~! I luv u~ c:**

**Warnings:**** Sebby is about to get pervy. *-* Whaat...? (I was nearly laughing to myself with certain sentences. ^^)**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** I think we all need Alois carry out his murderous fantasies. :3 Haha, that would be fun. Creeper Claude...*o* Haha, well thank you~ It took me so long to write last chapter. x3 I kept returning to past chapters and searching for particular parts and trying to keep the chronological order of everything in check. *-* Alois needs a hug~ c: Awe, thank you~! I continue writing this story for my readers, so it makes me happy to know people like it so much. ^^ You have my promise that I will not abandon this story until it is completely finished and proofread! *Determined face* Haha, your welcome~! *Hugs* I luffs you too~ c:**

Chapter VII (Not proofread)

"I'll return in a few hours. Alois, don't let him out of your sight," I tell Alois, preparing to leave for work. Aleister wasn't available for babysitting today, so I have no choice, but to have Alois take care of Ciel. Maybe that isn't such a good idea.

"Don't worry, I won't."

I frown and narrow my eyes as Alois wraps his arm around my kitten's shoulders. "And don't touch him," I add, not liking the contact between the two.

The blonde sticks out his tongue and pulls Ciel into a hug for a second before releasing him. I almost push him off, but decide against it and, successfully, control my emotions. Ciel looks up at me with his deep blue eye, pleadingly, and I sigh. There is nothing I can do. I haven't been back to work in such a long time and I can't simply let my friend take care of everything for so long.

"It's alright, Ciel. I will try to finish up my work as soon as possible," I say as calmly as I can, to try and ease his worries.

"Mmk, bye Sebastian~!"

I take one last glance at Ciel and see his tail drooping behind his legs. Seeing him in this state makes me desperately want to reach out and pet his soft ears to calm him. _I'll be back soon, Ciel._

* * *

This is going to be a long day.

Grell is scheduled for an _hour-long_ session in the afternoon. My nose wrinkles in distaste when I skim over the name, 'Grell Sutcliff,' and groan for the umpteenth time today. Why, out of all people, does _Grell _harbor an attraction for me? I know I'll never receive an answer to that question. Especially considering he constantly talks about 'William.' No, I do not understand at all.

After a few hours of talking and consoling my patients, I take a glance up at the analog clock on the wall and sigh when the hands read, '4:01.'

Grell is late.

That's odd.

From behind the door to my office, I barely catch an extremely shrill voice calling my name. Well, not my name, but a nickname, I suppose. I'd rather not call it a nickname, since I don't want people actually calling me, 'Bassy.'

The moment my door opens, I plaster on a fake smile and greet Grell. As he steps into the room and sits down on the sofa, I sit down in an adjacent chair. I'm surprised he hasn't touched me yet. It's a nice change.

"Oh, Bassy,~ I have had the _worst _day. You would not _believe_ what I've been through!"

"What happened?" I ask. Only fifty-eight more minutes.

The redhead smiles a wide grin and flips his hair, without touching it. "Well, my darling William didn't speak to me at _all _today! I waited and waited for his stoic voice to reach my ears, but...nothing! _All day_~!"

"Do you have a reason as to why that happened?" Every time Grell has a session, he goes into a rant, solely about 'William.' Every. Time.

"No~! He never talks much anyway, but he _always _says hello to me. Not today, though..."

As he continues talking, I try to drown the sound out of my mind. I have heard this story one too many times and I already know how it ends. _William hasn't talked to Grell, because William did not _see _Grell today. Grell simply assumes that William _wants _to talk to him and that William will call. Eventually, Grell calls William and squeals in joy. _I don't understand that story very much, but that is always how it ends.

It's so late in the day now; I only have a few clients left, before I can head home. When my thoughts drift to my home, I think of Ciel, automatically. I wonder how he's doing, with Alois? I involuntarily frown when I think of the two, alone, together. Apparently, Grell notices my frown.

"Why are you frowning? I was just telling you about my _romantic _memories with William~!"

"My apologies, please continue."

"Hmph. As I was saying, William and I were _trying_ to find the silverware, when a..."

Again, I block out the noise around me and let my thoughts gather in my mind. I stop my frown from appearing on my face at the thought of Alois and Ciel, but the frown stays in my head. Ciel didn't seem very accepting of Alois' touches, but he wasn't opposing them, either. I absently nod and continue with my thoughts. As long as Alois doesn't advance any further on my Ciel, I won't have any need to strangle the blonde.

"Can you believe that?" Grell asks, in the middle of his rambling.

_Ciel..._

"And she said she needed to 'escort' us out of the store. I wasn't about to stand for that!"

_He's become much more affectionate as of late, hasn't he?_ He's purring much more than when I first found him and he seems to trust me quite a bit. When I first saw him, he looked so lost and helpless. The moment I noticed his personality, I couldn't turn away from the boy. He would shield himself with a concrete wall of indifference, but was drowning in his own misery. I had no doubts that he would not have lasted more than a month after I had found him.

Not to mention all of the disgusting people lurking in the shadows around him at night. Of course, when I say this, I think of Claude. I nearly frown at the memory, but catch myself before Grell notices the revolted expression on my face.

"...and that's when I used my cell phone to call..." I catch small amounts of Grell's conversation to himself and nod at needed times.

The moment my train of thought steers away from his monologue, I find myself with the captivating image of Ciel. It seems he has been stealing away most of my thought processes lately, hasn't he? Not that I mind, though. He's a pleasant distraction.

He acts just like a kitten the majority of the time and it is absolutely adorable. Every time he decides to cuddle up to me or involuntarily blushes when I'm around, I smile with true happiness. Ciel simply fills the area in my chest that hasn't been occupied in the longest time and I love the feeling of a warm heart. The last time I felt that, was when my parents were still alive. Well, before they became dead to me. They could still be alive, for all I know. I simply haven't bothered to find out.

"...said I was wrong! He said I was being _dramatic_~! I couldn't..."

I do hope that I made the right decision when I left Alois to watch Ciel. He has been with my kitten for hours now and every second that ticks by, I feel myself grow more nervous. Alois doesn't strike me as a very...stable...person, whereas Ciel, is a very...fragile...person. I mentally facepalm when I think of the two...alone. _What was I thinking?_

Come to think of it, the last time _I _was alone with Ciel, was over a month ago. He doesn't seem too bothered by the fact that we haven't had any time by ourselves, though. Perhaps he is bothered and just doesn't show the fact? Maybe he simply hasn't mentioned anything, considering his tendency to blush during intimate moments. _That is rather cute, though._

But, that is Ciel.

_Oh, Ciel_...everything about him, I find captivating. His soft ears, mysterious cerulean and violet eyes, rosy pink cheeks, pastel pale skin, a beautifully elegant tail, dainty fingers...

"...but, that's beside the point. Anyway..."

_And I do love the area just below the base of his furry tail. I find myself completely unable to avert my gaze from his little rear whenever he is around. That is, until he turns around and I see his slightly pouting lips and a light blush dusting his cheeks. Ah, I can see it now.~ His half-hearted glare in my direction with his darkly lashed cobalt eye. His ears twitching in embarrassment as he crosses his arms and turns back away; unknowingly giving me a complete view of the swaying tail, just above his..._

I suspect he knows I've been watching him. Ah, It would take eons to list each and every one of Ciel's attractive qualities. _Hm, he has so many of them.~_

"...so I threw the can at her bulbous head and she had her dog attack me!"

"Grell."

"Yes? What is it, Sebby~?"

"Your hour's up."

* * *

By the time I reach my home, the night sky has already descended upon London and won't be leaving, until the sun returns. The air is crisp and cold against my lungs with every breath I take, and it leaves my throat with a puff of misty air with every exhale. The moment I step onto my porch, I fish my keys from within my pocket and unlock the door, not expecting to see...what I see.

No sign of life is present as I hang up my coat and remove my shoes by the door. Not even the cats are out, roaming around the place. Everything is silent. Which brings me to my first conclusion, that everyone is sleeping. A quick glance toward the couch has me frowning when my second conclusion pops into my mind. _If everyone is asleep, where is Alois?_

Don't tell me.

Before I head over to Ciel's room, I take a peek at the trio in their room and smile to myself when I see them all in their respective beds. I bet if I intervened in their sleep and pet them, I could get them to purr~

No. There is no time for that.

I close the door as quietly as I can, not wanting to wake them, and advance to Ciel's room. As I open the door and let my eyes drift around the room, I wait a moment to adjust to the darkness. Once I can see fairly clearly, I take note of the figure curled up underneath the covers on the bed. Before I can even _think _of the figure being Ciel, I spot a mess of blonde hair on the pillow.

I take a few more steps into the room and soak in the scene before me with, admittedly, jealousy burning through my body. I thought I could always control my emotions and hide them when necessary. But, how can I _possibly _hide my erupting fury at the sight right in front of my eyes. _Alois is in Ciel's bed...with Ciel. And he's latched onto him, like a pillow._

Not waiting any more, I fold back the sheets and lift up Alois, promptly heading into the living room. I try to ignore the fact that the blonde was attached to Ciel, half naked, and lie him down on the couch. Even through this whole process, he doesn't so much as twitch. He must be a heavy sleeper.

I sigh, trying to control the intense need to punch something with a pulse, and gather a few blankets. Once I finish draping the blankets over the boy, I instantly stride back over to Ciel's room.

I suppose Alois did listen to what I asked of him. I asked him to never let Ciel out of his sight, and he obeyed. But...

_He touched him. _Not only that; he _cuddled _with Ciel. _In the latter's bed. _

I frustratedly sigh, once again, realizing just how much my emotions show their faces when I am near Ciel. _He really does affect me._

I open the door, for the second time, and close it behind me, softly. The moonlight shining through the parted curtains allows me to view the scene in front of myself with relative ease. And what I see...oh, my.

On the blue bed, huddled into a ball under the plush comforter, is my Ciel. His silky, cobalt hair and ears are the only clues that tell me it is, in fact, Ciel. The more my eyes grow accustomed to moon's light through the window, the more I notice the light blue shine on the boy's pale skin. A few of his small fingers are visible beside his head, on the pillow, slightly curled into a relaxed position.

I take a few steps forward and hold back a chuckle at the sound Ciel makes. He sounds as if he's talking in his sleep, but his face is hidden against the pillow, creating muffled murmurs. Smiling, I crawl into his bed and wrap my arms around his waist, pulling him closer to me. The heat that radiates from the boy, accompanied by the intoxicating smell of his being, causes me to almost—

"Sebastian..."

_Ah, his voice.~_

"Thank you..."

Deciding to play along with his sleep-talking, I add to the conversation, in a low whisper. "For what, Ciel~?"

"Hm.~ For squishing...hmm~...that...spider..."

"Anything for you, my sweet kitten.~"

"Hnn~...will it...come back...?"

"I shall squish it for you, if it returns.~"

"You're...so nice."

"I love you, Ciel.~" Ciel's sleep-talk doesn't seem like such a bad thing. He accepts my affection without growing frustrated or embarrassed and I doubt he would accomplish that, awake.

After a few minutes of silence, I start to think that Ciel drifted into a deeper sleep and is done with 'talking.' But, oh, I am wrong.

"I...hm...I love you...more."

"Really~? Are you certain?"

"Mhmm..."

I rest my chin atop Ciel's head and lie my cheek against his ear on the pillow, causing a delectable sound of approval from the boy in front of me. Trying not to wake him just yet, I lightly lift my arm and rub his stomach in small circles. As I breathe in another whiff of his alluring aroma, I can barely contain myself, considering the scenario. _And he hasn't even awoken, yet._

I move my hand from his stomach, to his chest, and gently push him closer to me, successfully closing any space there was between us, previously. His soft breathing and light hums in his sleep cause me to, subconsciously, widen my smile. The more I remain in this position, the more intimate my actions become. Ciel must be quite the deep sleeper, but, that's alright.

Still attempting to keep Ciel dreaming, I move my hands, very carefully, under his shirt and over his chest. He shifts slightly, at the temperature difference, but doesn't awaken. When I feel his soft, warm skin under my cold fingers, I simply can't help myself. I press my body even more against him as I fondle every inch of velvet skin available to me. As my hand drifts over his beating heart, I feel the small rhythm pulsing against my palm in a soothing way. My kitten's breath changes ever so slightly and I can't help but smirk when he starts to lowly purr. _How adorable. _I close my eyes, in delight, and feel as if I would purr myself, were I able.

I both hear and feel the heartbeat slowly rising within Ciel and I come to the depressing realization that he will awaken soon. I sigh softly and retract my hands from his skin, only to curl them around Ciel's waist. _Such a heavy sleeper.~_

"Ciel..." I coo into his ear, knowing he is either awake, or just waking up.

"Wh—" Ah, so he's coming to his senses now.

And just when I was having so much fun.

"I missed you," I whisper into his neck.

Before Ciel can even utter a reply, Alois opens the door. Of course he does.

"What the hell?" he asks, obviously not understanding that he has interrupted us. "Why was I on the couch, Sebastian?"

I don't want to recall the reason for that right now.

"Sebastian?!" Ciel practically jumps as he shouts my name, but I maintain my grip and don't allow him the opportunity of escape.

I lightly laugh to myself. If he reacted this way from me just lying next to him, I wonder what he would have done, had he known of my actions earlier~?

"Well, since you're busy being Ciel's pillow, I'm sleeping in your room then," Alois informs us and shuts the door.

If only I could continue where I left off, before Ciel awoke. If only.

"I missed you, Ciel," I say once more.

"S-Shut...up," he retorts, completely oblivious to anything before he submerged from his subconscious.

"Hmm...alright," I agree, squeezing him to me.

Should I tell him? Ah, there's no need for that now. Perhaps I can show him what he missed, another time. I wonder what shade of scarlet his cheeks will bare, then~?

* * *

**A/N:**** Reviews are like donations to the Ciel Phluffyhive fund~ (My motivation) Haha. c:**


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N:**** I loved all of your reviews from the last chappie. I'll add some Grell and William in a future chapter, so don't worry about that~**

**Warnings:**** Mild, mild language, more pervy Sebby. c: (What's your guys' take on pervy Sebby; should I keep him this way?) :3**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Aymuri Shikyo:**** Thank you! :3 And here is the next chapter~! Just for you guys. c: You, yes, **_**you**_**.**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** I was laughing as I was writing the chapter, so it took me longer than expected. x3 And yes, kitty Ciel sleep talking is adorable. *o* Thank you, thank you. ^^ Haha, I try to update as soon as possible, since I know how frustrating it is to have slow updates on stories. :3 The only reason I keep writing, is for you guys, so I love hearing your feedback~! ^^ *Hugs***

**End Note:**** This chapter is a week or so after chapter 7. It's in the middle of January now, I think. *-***

Chapter VIII (Not proofread...much)

"Since I have a day off of work today, what would you like to do, Ciel?" Sebastian asks me as I try to untangle some of my hair with my fingers.

An idea strikes me as we walk into the living room. Alois is already sitting in a chair, dangling his feet from the armrest, looking incredibly bored. My idea comes from the sight of Sebastian's bookshelf on the side of the room.

"Could we...go to the library?" I ask, stepping further into the room.

"Of course. Was there—"

"There you guys are! Where have you been?" Alois questions us as he sits up straight and raises an eyebrow.

Confused, I answer, "I just woke up less than ten minutes ago. That's not _that _long of a wait."

The blonde boy's lips curl into an almost invisible smirk as he glances at Sebastian and then back at me, before saying, "I've been waiting for an hour."

I almost ask why, when Sebastian interrupts me.

"My, It seems I must have lost track of time."

"What?" I ask, severely confused.

Alois stands from his seated position and walks over to me, with the smirk that says 'I know something.' Once he stands a few feet in front of me, he stops and says, "Sebastian went into your room an hour ago."

I feel Sebastian's eyes watching me as my face heats up in a fraction of a second, creating a deep blush. My thoughts stall for the longest moment as I realize what Alois just told me._ Sebastian...was in my room...for an hour? _But, I was asleep until ten minutes ago. That means...

"Shall we be going, then?"

With wide eyes, I look over to Sebastian and lose my words when I see him smirking at me. What was he doing in my room for an hour? _While I was sleeping?!_

Alois answers him, "Hmm~? Oh, where to? I'd love to go out, but I think you've broken Ciel." He laughs.

"I-I'm fine! Just...just shut up!" I try to cover my reddening face with my hair and cross my arms, not liking the fact that I am in the dark. Now I'm going to be paranoid all day. What...what was he doing in my room?

The blonde observes me for a few seconds, before deciding that I'm alright, and walks over to the door. As he steps into his shoes, he tells us that he will be waiting outside. I regain my senses and glare at Sebastian as he smiles back at me.

"Ready to go, Ciel?"

"What were you doing in my room for an hour?" I narrow my eyes at him and notice the ever so slight widening of his smile.

"We don't want Alois to freeze outside; that wouldn't be very hospitable, would it?"

This is going to be a long day, I just know it. _Especially if everyone keeps goddamn smirking at me and avoiding questions._

* * *

We arrive at the library about fifteen minutes later. Once we all enter the building, the warm heated room greets me and I feel warm instantly. A woman behind the main desk welcomes us to the library and Sebastian walks over to her. They start to converse and I feel a tight feeling in my stomach at the sight of the two. Not that I'm jealous or anything. Of course not.

"Psst, Ciel," Alois whispers directly into my ear, making me flinch.

I snap my head to glare at him, but instead, I am dragged away to another section of the library. Alois' grip on my arm isn't tight enough to cause pain, but isn't loose enough to allow me to escape. "Where are you going?"

"Shhh!" He stops and places his finger on my lips, effectively silencing me. "You can't talk so loud; we're in a library."

I use my free arm to remove Alois' hand from my face and lower my volume. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, we're already here." He smiles and sits down on a nearby chair, pulling me with him. I yelp when I end up sitting on his lap with his arms pulling me to him.

"What the hell, Alois?"

"Shh!"

I frown and try to squirm away from him, earning a sigh from the boy. Realizing my current method of escape isn't working, my ears perk up as an idea pops into my head. I stop moving and turn around slightly, causing Alois to raise an eyebrow. I smirk and before he can do anything, poke his stomach. He flinches and involuntarily laughs, which lets me jump from his lap.

"Cheater," he tells me as I start walking away.

As I walk down the aisles, I run my fingers across the spines of the books and absently search for one that will catch my attention. I turn a corner and pass a few people who spare me a curious glance and a few who don't even bother raising their gazes from their books.

Across a few aisles, I can hear Alois' extremely loud whispers of, "Ciel~!"

I sigh and enter another section, full of biographies that seem never ending. Just as I am about to turn another corner, into the non-fiction section, a hand on my waist pulls me back. Fully expecting Alois to be behind me, I sigh and try to poke his stomach again. What I don't realize, until after I do that, is the fact that this isn't Alois. It's Sebastian, isn't it?

"Found you," he says.

How did I not hear him? It shouldn't be a surprise to me, since earlier this morning, he was in my room for an hour and I had no idea. Why does he have to be so elusive all the time? With a frown, I ask, "Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"Could you let go?"

"Hmm...and why should I do that~?"

I take a quick glance around and notice that there are no people in this aisle. I also take notice that Alois is screaming, in a whisper, "CiCi!"

Knowing that Sebastian obviously won't be letting go anytime soon, I lean back against him and sigh. "Who was that woman at the desk?"

"Ah, that. Well, my good friends have returned from their vacation, so I thought I would say hello to one who works here. Mey-Rin is her name."

So that was the woman Sebastian was talking to earlier, then. I feel my jealousy evaporate when he—wait. I said I'm not jealous. And I'm not.

_I'm never going to get over my denial, am I?_

"Have you found any interesting books, kitten?"

I frown slightly at the pet name, not at all appreciating the blush that comes with it. "Not yet."

I'm surprised Alois hasn't stumbled upon our aisle. Every once in awhile, when I look through the open spaces of the books on the shelves, I can see a light yellow tuft of hair pass by. It seems as though he's already passed the same aisle mor—

"Where is Alois, Ciel?"

"I don't know. He's looking for me, but he's not doing a very thorough job of it."

"Hmm~."

With every breath Sebastian exhales, my furry ears flicker at the tickling feeling. They don't twitch during his next breath, though, as he leans down to my neck. Not saying anything, he places his hand on my cheek and turns my head, allowing me to see his face clearly. His ruby eyes are staring directly at me and I almost gasp when I realize just how...handsome he is. Everywhere I look, he is perfect. No, not perfect. It's more than that. He's _too _perfect.

Too caught up in my thoughts, I widen my eyes as I realize that the too perfect man is kissing me. As I take another breath, my eyes flutter closed and I let the warm feeling inside me spread all over my body. I slowly turn around to face him and use my hands to clutch onto his jacket, feeling I might fall down if I don't hold on to something. Sebastian's arms tighten around my waist and I almost do fall down at the sensation.

With most of my senses drowning out, I barely, if at all, notice the downward shift of Sebastian's hands. That is, until I feel a slight squeeze on my rear. Not expecting that at _all_, I jump in shock, breaking the kiss in the process.

"W-What are you doing?" My blush is already forming.

Before he can reply, Alois finds our aisle and comes running in.

"Jeez, Ciel, do you know how long I've been looking for you? You must be great at hide n' seek."

"I've...been here this whole time."

Sebastian's still holding me.

"Didn't you hear me calling you, CiCi~?"

"Yes."

Alois pouts and folds his arms, signaling the end of our conversation.

Eventually, we all leave the building, with no books, and head to a café for lunch. The inside of the building has a quaint feel to it, with muted colors and fabrics decorating the place. It's not a very large area, but that fact adds to the tranquil appeal of the café, especially considering there aren't many obnoxious noises. And by obnoxious noises, I mean people.

Sebastian, Alois, and I step inside and seat ourselves at a booth. Of course, Sebastian chose to sit next to me, with Alois across from us. As we all decide what to order, I absently scan the menu, not reading the words, in the least. My thoughts continually revert back to the moment in the library.

Sebastian has never done that to me before. Well, no one's ever done that to me before. It was...strange. My brows furrow when I realize that I actually didn't mind what he did. Did I enjoy it? Am I...am I supposed to?

"Hello~! I'll be your waiter for today; my name's Lau. What can I get for you?" a man with colorful clothing and very closed eyes greets us.

I have a small panic attack at the realization that I haven't yet decided on what to order. Alois orders a plate of fish and chips, Sebastian orders tomato soup, and I'm still searching the menu. The entire table is silent, save for the occasional cough from Lau. _There are too many items on this menu; why didn't I chose my dish sooner?_

Just as my anxiety level overflows, Sebastian orders a tuna sandwich for me. _Tch. _He could have done that sooner. But, how did he know I like tuna?

A few minutes later, our waiter, Lau, returns, but has no dishes.

"So, what was it that you ordered, again?" he asks with an oblivious smile.

"You were gone for ten damn minutes. Why the _hell _didn't you come back sooner?" Alois shouts at the waiter, obviously hungry.

"It's not my fault you didn't tell me to write it down."

Alois' ice blue eyes narrow in frustration and Lau continues smiling, without a care in the world. Sebastian steps in and repeats our orders to the man and this time, Lau writes it down. Less than thirty seconds later, he returns.

"So you wanted rice with that, right?"

Rice...? What's wrong with this guy?

Eventually, after who knows how long, we receive our lunch and start to eat. At least everyone besides me, does. The smell of fresh tuna hits my nose, but I haven't tasted it yet. My mind is too preoccupied with Sebastian at the moment.

"Ciel?"

I turn to my side and look up at Sebastian, waiting for him to continue.

"Is something wrong with the food?"

"N-No."

He puts his spoon down and leans in close to my face, allowing me to see straight into his deep, crimson eyes. He brings his hand up and lightly traces my lips with his finger. I feel my blush reach my ears when I realize how close he is and just what he is doing. _It is...nice though..._

"Would you like me to feed it to you?"

"Wh-what?" I snap out of my thoughts and quickly shake my head, replying with a sharp, but slightly unsure, "No!"

"Alright, then." He turns away, as if nothing happened, and returns to his soup.

That's when I turn my attention to Alois. He's...staring at Sebastian. It's not a glare, but it's not friendly, either. His eyes are filled with so many emotions that I can't even grasp _one_. Knowing I won't receive an answer, I shrug off the situation and take a hold of my tuna sandwich. As I lift it to my nose, I inhale a copious amount of the aroma and feel my mouth start to water at the intoxicating smell. This is going to be delicious~.

"Are you sure you don't want me to feed you~?"

Just as I sink my teeth into the bread and fish, I turn my head and use my hand to swat him away, trying to enjoy my meal in silence. He lightly laughs and I resume quietly eating my sandwich, smiling to myself.

"Hey, Ciel," Alois calls.

I look over to Alois, as I continue chewing, and notice that his face brightens as soon as I make eye contact with him.

"If you don't want Sebastian to feed you, I'll do it~."

"No one's going to feed me."

He pouts. "You sure?"

"..."

* * *

**A/N:**** What do **_**you**_** think Sebastian did in Ciel's room for an hour? :3**


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N:**** Plot will resume in chapter 11. Fluff now, plot later.**

**Warnings:**** Sebby isn't as pervy in this chapter...no, wait, nevermind. x3 It's gotten worse! Haha, what a warning this is. c:**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** ^^ Your review was hilarious. x3 Don't worry, you won't have to type what you think happened - and die of blood loss and embarrassment - since this chapter will explain it all. c: Haha, Sebastian's cologne almost smells like jealousy. x3 Yush, Ciel is surrounded by male jealousy. Awe, Alois needs his Holiday muffin, so Santa, you better give him his freshly baked muffin. *Dramatic* Naw, he'll get it somehow. c: Haha, that was quite the 'thank you.' Here's another chappie~! Pft, who needs to study, when there are fanfictions about? Nobody. Nobody, that's who. Especially not me, since I'm writing them. Haha~ x3 Awuh, now I have to take a shower to rid myself of the sprinkles and cookies. Hmm...*Sniffs* it does smell nice. Haha, maybe in a bit. x3  
**

**MeganeMusume:**** Thank you thank you! c: I shall keep Mr. Pervy-Sebby going. Haha, you all seem to enjoy him, so I'll maintain his perviness. c: It really makes me super happy (I feel like I've said this before) to know how much you, and the other readers, wait for another chapter. It gives me just enough self-esteem to write another chappie. So...here's another~**

**End Note: ****That was an extremely long author's note. *-* (Psst, this chapter takes place during chapter 8.)**

Chapter IX

The instant I open my eyes, I glance toward the window and notice that the sun is barely peeking over the horizon. I smile to myself, knowing Ciel will still be asleep, most likely, and head into the bathroom. After taking a quick shower, I dress myself and walk down the hall to check up on Timber, Tompson, and Canterberry. I open the door to their room and step inside, only to be met with a soft animal rubbing against my leg. Ah, I assume this is Berry. Upon picking up the small fluff ball, I check his collar and notice the name, 'Canterberry.' He is quite the affectionate one, isn't he?

I nuzzle my cheek into his soft fur, earning the tiniest of mewls, before setting him back on the ground. When I scan the room with my eyes, I notice the other two, curled up together. I sigh to myself, knowing that Timmy will somehow corrupt Tommy with his rebellious ways. _Those kittens._

After refilling their food and water bowls, I scratch underneath Berry's chin one last time, and leave the room. As soon as I close the door behind me, I see Alois walking in my direction.

"What's for breakfast?" he asks, while tiredly rubbing his eyes and yawning.

"Aren't you up rather early?"

"Hmm, I couldn't go back to sleep. I'm hungry anyway."

"Well, you can have some cereal. It's in the pantry in the kitchen and the milk is on the top shelf in the fridge."

He stops rubbing his eyes and stares at me for a moment, seemingly thinking about something, and weakly smiles. "Okay, thanks."

When he spins on his heel and heads into the kitchen, I watch him leave and am left feeling extremely confused. He has such a strange personality. I wasn't expecting him to be so accepting of cereal for breakfast. I shrug it off and stride over to Ciel's room, hoping the boy will be asleep. As I turn the doorknob and ease open the door, I slip inside and quietly close the door behind me. The sun is starting to rise now, so the small rays of light that shine through the curtains help me gain the sight of Ciel. He looks...strange today.

_He's shivering._

I near his bed and sit down next to him, not bothering to maintain my secretive presence. Slipping underneath the sheets and lying down, I move closer to my kitten and gently run a hand through his hair. His face is so angelic, even with the most minimal of lighting present. I frown when I notice his brows furrowed and his erratic shaking. Placing my arm around his waist, I pull him closer to me and continue to stroke his silky cerulean hair. His breathing is shallow and he almost sounds...in pain.

I wonder what's happening in his nightmare? From the brief, unintelligible words and small sounds escaping his quivering lips, I can tell it is not pleasant. Not in the least.

"It-t...h-h-hurts."

Ciel's scratchy voice directly comes into contact with my ears and I instantly feel the need to stop his pain. He's not in pain, though. But...he was. He _was_ in pain. He was in pain when he was in that lab and used as an experiment _rat_. This pain he feels now, is most likely, nothing compared to his past tortures. I scowl when I see tears form in the corners of his heavily lashed eyes.

"Shhh..." I coo into his ear, trying to maintain my calmness and not let my emotions control my actions. I can't be sure of the content of his nightmare, but I assume it is of his past. I shouldn't let myself become upset so easily, there is no use for that now. It's only Ciel here; the people who tortured him aren't around. Becoming angry will not help the situation.

"D-Don't...do-n't...t-tou-ch me."

Ciel's violent shivering tears at my heart and I try to comfort him by rubbing invisible circles on his back. His breath is shaky and shallow, causing me to pull him closer, in an attempt to soothe him. _He isn't calming down...that's not good._

"Ciel...shh," I whisper words of no meaning into his mind. I hum lightly, creating a soft tune within my nonsense sentences and continue to run my fingers through his cobalt locks.

The moment my fingers touch his velvety fur, he stops shaking. A wide smile sneaks its way onto my lips the moment he stops shivering. I wipe away his tears and move my hand back up to his head and lightly stroke the surface. Ciel's porcelain features relax and I sigh a breath of relief when he unconsciously pushes his head into my hand.

After a few minutes, the sound of a low rumble makes its way into my ears as Ciel starts to purr. _I wonder what he's dreaming about now?_

A sudden thought strikes me and I feel immense guilt in a matter of seconds. The cause of Ciel's nightmare...was also the end of his nightmare. _What am I doing? _I can't do this. I can't keep enjoying Ciel's altered appearance. He is this way because of those men and I'm taking advantage of it. I remove my hand from his ears, which causes Ciel to instantly stop purring.

This isn't right. I'm completely taking advantage of the situation. I have been petting Ciel's ears as if nothing's wrong, for so long now. The only reason he is like this, is because of the torture he has been through. Something that brought him so much pain and suffering, shouldn't be the cause of his brief happiness. Ciel shouldn't look like this. He shouldn't have lost his parents. He shouldn't have been an experiment. He shouldn't have been homeless. He shouldn't have...he shouldn't have had to live like that.

"Mmm..." Ciel mumbles a noise of disapproval and weakly reaches out to me.

I feel my heart skip a few beats as his dainty hands lightly grip my shirt and stay there, unmoving. I make a mental note to myself to resume my thoughts at a later time, and bury my face into his hair and ears. The intoxicating aroma that is, Ciel, makes me hum in delight. When I feel a gentle, yet firm tail wrap around my leg, I squeeze my kitten closer than before.

In a matter of seconds, Ciel's purring starts up and grows in volume with each faint tick of the clock. Small strands of dark blue hair sway back and forth with each breath I take and I smile even more when I revel in the moment of Ciel being so affectionate. _He with cuddles me more than Berry does._

His furry tail lightly twitches around my leg in approval as I slowly slip my hands under his shirt, fondling his chest and back. The heat emanating from my kitten warms my cold hands as I lovingly roam his body. With every movement I make, Ciel shifts slightly into my fingers, as if silently telling me he enjoys the contact. I lean my head back and take a moment to study Ciel's beautiful expression. I've never seen him blush in his sleep before. _Ah, it's so adorable._

Almost as if my mind is playing tricks on me, I notice the faintest of smiles grace his rose petal lips. Placing my chin back on his head, I sigh in content when I feel his deep breaths crossing the expanse of my neck and collarbone. As my hands drift to Ciel's adorable bottom, he practically _meows_, which causes me to quietly chuckle to myself. _I don't know how much more of this I can take, he's so attractive right now.~_

Well, to be honest, when is he ever _not _alluring? Ah, Ciel. What you do to me~?

I feel the boy's hands tighten their grip on my shirt and I nearly lose myself with the sight before me. Surprised he hasn't awoken yet, I gently squeeze his rear and he curls himself closer into my chest.

"_If only you were awake_," I whisper.

"Hmm..."

Slightly losing a grip on my senses, I incline my head and brush my nose against Ciel's neck. When I steal a kiss upon his soft skin, I feel as if I haven't had nearly enough. Boldly revealing my tongue from within my lips, I lightly trace it across his neck and imprint the flavor of his essence into my mind. _He tastes divine.~_

"Nya..."

_Oh, my. _The more he leans into my touch, the more I find myself losing my control. I should stop, now. Quickly retracting my tongue back into my mouth, I bury my face in his hair and hum once more. Not having kept track of the time, I sigh and lift my hands to place them back onto Ciel's waist. I suppose Alois has been waiting long enough.

"Ciel..."

"Hmmm..."

"Ciel~."

"Mmhmph..."

"Wake up, my kitten."

"Wh...what...what?"

"Wake up~."

I can hear his blush through the air, even if no words are said. Nuzzling my face deeper into his soft locks, I breath out and smile when Ciel doesn't move. He's more cuddly when he's asleep. Ah, well. I'll just have to change that someday, then.

Ciel, most likely, has no memory of his nightmare and I feel relief flood through me. It hurts me so much to see him in such immense pain. He is not supposed to feel pain and torture in dreams. Dreams are meant to be pleasant distractions, not hellish nightmares. I wonder how often these nightmares occur? He's been through so much.

_Ciel...you have no idea how much I unconditionally love you. I feel as if the whole of my existence is dependent on your happiness. My entire world crumbles when my sight falls upon the glistening water that forms within your deep pools of cobalt and violet eyes. Your sadness is a dagger laced with the deadliest poison, which slowly slices through my heart as time passes. To keep myself from falling ill and dying, I maintain your joy and happiness._

_Whenever you smile, the aura that surrounds you gleams with the most blinding of lights. The way your eyes smile so genuinely...it breaks the rhythmic ticking of my heart as I feel my life returning to me. My source of happiness and my source of pain are one in the same. You, Ciel, are my everything and I cannot afford lose you. Not now, not ever._

* * *

After leaving the library, Ciel, Alois, and I decide to go out to eat lunch. The small café down the street seems like a decent place, so we head inside. I think I've been here once or twice before. It's fairly decent, if I recall correctly.

As we sit down, I occasionally steal a few glances to my side and notice Ciel's flushed face. What's he thinking about~?

I scan the menu and pick a dish, just as Alois chooses his. It doesn't seem as though Ciel has picked his meal, since he appears to just be in a daze. Hm, I'll help him out and choose a dish for him.

A man, who I assume to be our waiter, walks up and smiles at us. "Hello~! I'll be your waiter for today; my name's Lau. What can I get for you?"

We all order, save for Ciel. He's desperately searching the plastic menu for any form of salvation from his frantic mind. Ah, time to intervene.

"He'll have the tuna sandwich."

"Oh, no problem then. I'll go place the order now."

Lau leaves and Ciel sneaks a quick glance in my direction, attempting to be unseen. After a few mishaps with Lau, we eventually receive our food and the waiter leaves. A few minutes pass and my Ciel hasn't taken one bite out of his sandwich. Maybe something's wrong with it? No, he hasn't even taken a bite, he couldn't possibly know if something is wrong with it. Then, what's the matter? When I lift my gaze from his plate to his uncovered eye, he looks as if he's deep in thought.

"Ciel?" As he looks at me, I ask, "Is something wrong with the food?"

"N-No."

I inwardly chuckle at Ciel's adorable stutter. Not taking the time to think about what I am about to do, I raise my hand and lightly skim the surface of Ciel's lips with my finger. Ah, he's blushing a deep red now. I let my smile show a bit and ask, "Would you like me to feed it to you?"

"Wh-what?" He shakes his head, as if snapping out of a daze, and continues with, "No!"

"Alright, then."

I turn back away, reluctantly, and resume eating my soup. I inwardly sigh as I feel Alois' piercing eyes watching me. Is he jealous? Yes, that seems to be the case. He wants Ciel, doesn't he? Well, he's simply going to have to get over it. _Ciel is mine._

The sound of crunching toast sounds to my side and I look over to see Ciel, with bliss painted all over his face. I suppose he likes tuna, then. _My _kitten likes tuna~.

"Are you sure you don't want me to feed you~?"

He swats me away and I laugh to myself at his antics. Ciel is such a character.

"Hey, Ciel," Alois says.

I shift my eyes up and watch as Alois darts his eyes toward me for a fraction of a second, before returning to Ciel. Interesting...

"If you don't want Sebastian to feed you, I'll do it.~"

_No, you won't._

"No one's going to feed me."

I smirk to myself. But wait, that means I won't be able to feed him. Maybe another time.

"You sure?" Alois asks.

"..."

Ciel didn't seem very upset at the fact that Alois wanted to feed him. Perhaps the tuna caused him to have a raise in his mood? Yes, that's what it is. Alois will never be able to feed my kitten. Only I can. Well, not right now, since he doesn't want me to.

* * *

As soon as we step inside my house, I notice something...strange.

Ciel's acting odd.

I assume Alois notices as well, because the blonde boy's gaze doesn't hold as much frustration as it did before. Now, it holds a bit of concern.

"Ciel, are you alright?" I ask, slowly stepping toward the boy.

Ciel backs away the same amount, so the distance is retained between us. Frowning, I take another step and Ciel bumps into the wall. Before Ciel darts down the hall and into his room, he scratches his ear one more time.

_He sure is itchy..._

"Ciel, what's going on?" Alois asks as he knocks on the boy's door.

He looks at me, as if asking me if he should open it, and I nod in approval. Once he turns the knob, it sticks. Ciel locked the door? Wait, when was there a lock on that door?

"What?" Ciel asks, obviously trying to contain his rising anger.

"Why did you lock yourself in your room? What's gotten into you?" Alois presses, continuously trying to turn the knob.

Ciel's answer is a long, pregnant silence as Alois and I stand outside his door, waiting for something to happen. That is, until he breaks the silence.

"I don't..."

"What?" Alois asks, beating me to the question.

"I...don't..."

The door 'clicks' and is unlocked. Both Alois and I rush inside, worried of what has happened to Ciel, when we both find him sitting on the floor. He's not just sitting on the floor, though, he's _fiercely scratching himself._

"Ciel?" I ask, growing more and more concerned.

He looks up to me with pleading eyes and continues to viciously attack his ears as he says, hesitantly, "I don't want you to get bitten by the fleas."

The pure look of embarrassment on Ciel's face causes me to instantly kneel down and wrap my arms around him. Fleas or not, he's still my Ciel. The moment my arms reach his back, he encircles my waist with his own arms.

"It's alright, Ciel. We'll buy some flea shampoo at the store."

"...Okay."

* * *

**A/N:**** Awe, Ciel has fleas. :c**


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N:**_***Happy birthday, Ciel~!* **_**12/14/12 ^^ You're getting a bit old, aren't you? :3**

**Warnings:**** This has some fluff and pervy Sebby. Enjoy~ Oh, and some language. Yup.**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** Yes, Sebby needs to take care of Ciel's fleas~! Awe, thanks. c: Haha, forcing Ciel to give his Sebby a kiss. x3 So funny~ Oh, pft, how can you not stalk them in your head. I think it's virtually impossible. *-* Haha, I hope I cook the fluff to perfection~! Ooh, a shower of pie and confetti. Now **_**that**_**. Is. A. Party. ^-^**

Chapter X (Not exactly proofread)

"I don't understand what the difference is."

Sebastian drove us to the market today, so he could buy me some flea shampoo. I told him that he really didn't have to, but he was insistent on purchasing the treatment. I've never had fleas before and it slightly...scares me. The creatures are filthy and revolting, not to mention the various diseases they carry with them. And they're so damn _itchy._

"Why is this brand more expensive?"

Currently, Sebastian is holding two different types of shampoo, trying to decide which one to buy. Apparently, one is cheaper than the other, but they both contain the same ingredients. We've been in this aisle for...about ten minutes.

Alois lets out an exasperated groan and dramatically throws his arms in the air. "Just pick something, already! Damn, it's just shampoo," he shouts rather loudly.

Sebastian glances at the blonde for a second and lets out a defeated sigh. "Fine," he says as he replaces the bottle, in his left hand, back on its place on the shelf.

Whether it is the cheap or expensive one, I'm not sure, since I can't see from this angle. It's probably the cheap one, though. Alois smiles with relief and leads the way to the checkout counters. A particularly itchy spot forms on my ear in less than a second and I furiously scratch it, relieving some of the irritation. _Damn these fleas. _This shampoo better work.

A thought pops into my mind and I can't help but ask, "How...how does it work?" I fidget with my fingers and try to ignore the little tickles on my ear, becoming more and more nervous. I am not too fond of the idea of having chemicals come into contact with my skin. Especially not after...

"It's like normal shampoo, so just use this instead," Sebastian informs me as he rests his hand on my head.

When I feel his fingers start to move and scratch the surface of my hair, some of my nervousness fades. So lost in leaning into his touch, I don't notice that I completely start to lean on him. His hand wraps around my shoulders allows me to notice just what I did and that I don't much care about my embarrassment at the moment. Well, that is, until we reach the cashier and Sebastian releases me. The employee's cheeks turn a light pink as she rings up the shampoo. The two exchange some small talk and Sebastian says his farewells when we walk to the exit.

Before we can leave the store, however, I stop in my tracks as I hear a not-so-familiar voice. Well, it's familiar, but I wish it wasn't.

"Oh, _please_ Will~?"

I see that Sebastian notices as well, since he stops walking and looks in my direction, silently telling me that we should escape while we can. Alois glances back at us for a moment and then follows follows our line of sight as we stare at the redhead across from us. An expression of recognition crosses the blonde's face for a brief second, but it is quickly replaced with a knowing smirk.

"Grell, _calm down_. I told you, it will have to wait. Wh—"

As Sebastian starts slowly taking steps toward the exit, Grell notices the movement and excitedly widens his eyes. A large grin grows on his face as he interrupts, who I assume to be, William.

"Bassy~!"

Sebastian visibly flinches and tries to rush out of the market, in a last attempt effort. Blocking the door, Grell jumps on Sebastian and snuggles into the latter's arm. I scowl at the flamboyant man and nearly pounce on him, but stop myself as William intervenes.

"Grell, stop throwing yourself at random strangers."

When I pry my eyes away from the scene, I take a look at William and notice his deep frown. His lime green eyes are narrowed behind his glasses and his brow is extremely furrowed. He seems frustrated. Perhaps that is from Grell? The more I study his body language, the more confused I become. The stoic man didn't act this way when Grell was talking to him alone, though. Why the sudden change in behavior?

Sebastian removes Grell and forcefully smiles at him. "Ah, Grell." He pauses, and looks as if he's trying to eat a sour candy, and continues after a beat. "How _nice _to see you again."

William glares at Sebastian, as the latter stands in his place, unmoving, earning quite the awkward atmosphere. What creates even _more _of a tension-filled silence, is the fact that Alois is obviously hiding something behind that devilish smirk of his. Grell shifts his eyes to the blonde boy and stares at him, not speaking a word, almost as if he's afraid of something happening.

Alois defiantly crosses his arms over his chest, silently communicating with the redhead. His light blue eyes are watching Grell intently, seemingly waiting for him to do something. Do they know each other? When I glance back over to Grell, I grow more confused. The man is sweating and quietly _pleading _to Alois. What is going on here?

William finally interrupts the atmosphere and says in a monotone voice, "It seems I have yet to introduce myself." He pushes his glasses up on his nose and continues, "I am William T. Spears." He offers a hand, in a greeting, for Sebastian to shake.

"Sebastian Michaelis. It's nice to finally meet you," he says, gripping the hand presented before him.

Grell pales immensely and watches the two interact with wide eyes. He slowly shrinks back, behind William, and tries to hide from the situation. Hm...

William bears a questioning stare and asks, "I'm afraid I don't understand."

At this point, Grell is a mess, trying to hold himself together. "Oh, uhm...well..." He fumbles for words as everyone waits for some clarification. "He's...Sebastian is my...therapist." He sounds like he wishes he didn't have to say that. Something about the way he said that Sebastian was his therapist, made him sound as if he was scared. Why...?

The stoic man quickly frowns even more and glares at Sebastian. The latter tries to maintain his calm demeanor, but he looks like he's in pain. I don't blame him, though. This whole situation is so _strange_.

"How long have you been seeing him, _Grell_?"

"Not...not too long..." Grell is acting so odd right now. Maybe...

Alois speaks up and asks, "Hey, how did your pictures turn out, Grell?"

We all shift our attention to the boy and he has an expression of, 'I know something you don't know.' His smirk doesn't vanish as a response is heard from Grell.

"Oh! Oh, um...just fine."

"What pictures?" William fully faces the redhead and anxiously awaits an answer. I'd like to know the answer to that as well. What is Alois talking about?

"Bird watching photos, you know~! I love to bird-watch, Will,~ especially the ravens." He laughs nervously and pats William's arm, trying to soothe the tense man. Perhaps...

"So...we should get going, Will! Much to do, you kno—"

"Sebastian, was it?" The green eyed man turns around once more and faces Sebastian.

"Yes."

"I don't much care for you."

Silence settles over the five of us as the two raven haired males have a stare down. I almost need to hold back a laugh at the statement the man so blatantly stated. It seems he is straight forward with his thoughts, but quite the opposite with his emotions, isn't he?

"Grell, we're leaving," he says as he grabs the redhead's arm and drags him away. Grell pleads for William to, "Be gentle, Will~! I am a _lady, _you know!"

The farther away they walk, the softer their voices become. "...I don't like the way you looked at that _demon _of a man."

"B-But Will!"

Just as they exit the building, a sentence from William, that only I hear, is said. "I only want you looking at me that way..."

So they are together, then. Well, at least, that's what appears to be the situation. I suppose there is a match for everyone, even Grell. The two don't seem to know each other's feelings, though. Since William is very closed off with his emotions, he doesn't express them much. Grell is overly-expressive and says too much at times. But, that last sentence that I managed to catch was proof enough.

"Hey, Alois?"

"Yeah, Ciel?"

"Do you know him?"

"Oh," he lets out a small bout of laughter that he was holding and continues, "A while back, I ran into him and knocked all of his photos and camera onto the floor."

"Oh."

"Do you want to know what was _in _the pictures?" he asks.

"Didn't he say that he was taking photographs of birds?"

"Well, yeah, he _said_, that, but he was lying. Every single damn photo was centered around Sebastian."

Sebastian rubs his temples and sighs in exasperation. "That's disturbing."

"Looks like you've got a little stalker, Sebastian," he says with a humorous glint in his eyes.

"Judging by the conversation that just occurred, I have a feeling I won't need to worry about that anymore."

Alois raises a brow and questions, "What?"

"Grell is a patient of mine and, although I'm not technically supposed to say, he constantly rambles about William. I have deduced that he is hopelessly in love with the man, but doesn't have returned feelings. That small conversation just now was all I needed to figure out that William feels the same way."

I smile to myself when I realize my thoughts were correct. I'm grasping the concept of 'guess what the person is thinking by their body language.'

"Hmm, okay. So, where to now?" Alois says, with a hand running through his hair.

Sebastian smiles in my direction and tells Alois, "Well, we have to rid Ciel of these fleas." Oh, how lovely.

We, then, exit the market and cross the parking lot. As people start to obviously stare at me, I begin to feel more self-conscious than ever before. It's not nearly as bad as it was before I met Sebastian, though. But, the feeling still leaves a bitter taste in my mouth and embarrassment growing in my body. Before I met Sebastian, I didn't have anyone to even _talk _to. Now, as we near his car, I have someone's arm around my shoulders. When did that happen?

Snapping out of my thoughts, I find myself laughing at Alois' actions. He is sending free death glares at anyone who spares a glance in my direction. The blonde is not just glaring, though, he's flipping off everyone in the vicinity. My smile widens slightly when Alois shouts a, 'fuck you,' to a certain glaring person. When Sebastian's arm tightens around my arms, I close my eyes for a moment and feel my self-consciousness slowly fade.

As soon as we pack into the car, I settle into the cushions and suddenly feel my nervousness return with a vengeance. It's not the people outside of the car that cause it, though. It's the fact that I will have to use flea shampoo. I don't even like _normal _shampoo touching me. Now I have to use a more chemically altered version? I hate this so much. Why did I even contract fleas in the first place? I got the demons right after the trip to the library and café. I must have gotten the infestation then. _Ugh, I hate this._

* * *

"I can't do this," I whisper to myself as I stare at the bottle of flea shampoo. I place it on the bathroom counter and glance at the tub full of steaming water. "I can't do this."

"Ciel? Are you alright in there?" Sebastian asks from just outside the door.

No. "Yeah," I mutter, completely lying.

I sigh and remove the rest of my clothing, not fully committed to doing this. I place my eyepatch on the counter next to the sink and open my right eye, hating the reflection in the mirror. As I push back the bangs covering the disgusting thing, I clearly see the discoloration and...abnormal lines within the iris. So revolting. A strong itch on my left ear shuts off my thoughts and I shoot my arms up to scrape the fur. I grit my teeth in frustration when I realize that I need to use the shampoo.

"Ugh!" I cover my mouth with both hands as soon as I shout that and quickly wish I hadn't said it so loudly.

"Ciel? Are you sure everything's alright in there?"

"I-I'm fine!"

There is a long pause in which neither of us do anything, but Sebastian doesn't leave. I didn't hear his footsteps on the carpet, so he's still outside the restroom door. I itch my ears angrily and glare at the shampoo. It's mocking me.

"I...can't do this."

A small laugh sounding from the other side of the door causes me to realize that I said that outloud. And Sebastian heard. Just terrific.

"I'll help you."

"Uh..." I'd prefer it if he did not see me naked. "There's no need for that, really!"

"You've been in there for thirty minutes, Ciel."

I pale at the accusation and quickly blush a deep red. _I've been in here for half an hour?_ When the softest 'click' is heard from the doorknob, I think as fast as I can and jump into the bath. A bit of water droplets fall over the edge, but not enough to notice as something odd.

"I'm coming in."

I watch as the door opens and Sebastian cautiously enters, closing the door behind him. He locks it and smiles warmly at me, which causes my cheeks to heat up in embarrassment.

"I don't need any help, you know."

"And that is why you haven't gotten your hair wet, isn't it?"

"S-Shut up."

He grabs the bottle of flea shampoo and unwraps it, throwing away the excess plastic in the trash bin while on his way over to me. "I'm glad to see that you're not as afraid of water as you once were."

"I wasn't _afraid _of it. I just...didn't like it," I snap at him, not comfortable with the growing closeness between us.

As he kneels down beside the tub and rolls up his sleeves, he places the shampoo on the rug underneath him. A warm sensation envelops me when he reaches up and lightly pets my ears. "We'll get rid of these nasty things."

I smile and nod in approval as he grabs the sprayer and starts to rinse my head. I have gotten used to the sensation of water on my skin, but I still would rather not have to deal with it. Once my entire form is covered with water, he turns off the sprayer. The moment the water stops falling onto my hair, I open my eyes and watch his arms as they spread the shampoo onto my fur. The way his fingers deftly massage my head causes my eyes to flutter closed in bliss, if only for a moment.

Either I don't notice the hand wandering down my shoulder or I don't care, but my feline instincts notice. A quiet, barely audible purr starts to rumble from within me, causing me to question if it is even there in the first place. My eyes slide open a small amount, just enough to allow me to see what it is Sebastian is doing. His hand, that has warmed from the water, drifts down to my waist as the other continues shampooing my fur.

My tail twitches out of the water and flings a few droplets of water onto Sebastian's hair as his hand moves to my stomach. Without realizing it, I lean into his hands and hear my purring raise in volume. Sebastian's never touched me this...intimately before. Why...why is he doing this now?

"So adorable,~" he whispers into my ear.

I jump slightly and turn my head to face him, which makes me realize just how _close _he is to me. His ruby eyes are mere inches from my face and I feel the heat rise to my ears in a matter of seconds. Quickly turning back away, I can only hope that he didn't see the red hue that hasn't disappeared from my face. All of my hopes are thrown out the window the instant he cups my cheek and forces me to face him.

My eyes instantly lock onto his and I feel myself melting underneath his intense gaze. Without saying a word, he leans in and I find myself meeting him halfway as his lips brush against mine. Being so close to the man allows me to inhale his intoxicating smell and take one last look at his stunning features, before closing my eyes once more. The way his soft lips meld against mine so easily almost cause me to wrap my arms around him. I don't, though, since it would get his shirt wet.

After what seems like a few seconds, but is probably more like a few minutes, I start to notice Sebastian's hand moving down to my hip. I squirm a bit, not used to the feeling, and his other hand moves from my hair to the back of my neck, pressing me closer to him. I both hear and feel the purring in my chest growing at the action and, not caring about the condition of his shirt, I wrap my arms around his neck. When my fingers weakly grasp his soft, black locks, I lean closer to him and his shirt soaks up the water like a towel.

I freeze, shocked, when his hand on my hip lowers to my thigh and lightly squeezes the area. Before he can do anything else, I release my hold on his neck and hurriedly scoot to the farthest side of the bathtub, in a panic. Why...why did...why...?

My breathing is uneven and my eyes are shut so tightly that I don't even notice the water rushing over my face and hair. More than a few minutes pass and I calm down a tad, slowly opening my eyes. Not hearing any sounds in the room, I look around and find that I can't see Sebastian. When I take another glance around, I see Sebastian sitting on a chair next to the door, with his head in his hands. His posture is extremely tense and he isn't moving at all.

Finding my voice, I ask quietly, "Sebastian?"

His head snaps up and he lowers his hands to look at me for a moment, before slightly smiling. "Yes?" He stands and makes his way over to me, obviously trying not to frighten me, since he's walking awfully slow.

I don't say anything more, since we both know what I want to ask. He has an expression of guilt in his crimson eyes and I start to piece together the puzzle. The problem with this puzzle, though, is the fact that I'm missing most of the pieces. He kneels down across from me and stares straight into my eyes, as if trying to tell me something.

"I'm sorry."

I genuinely smile as he tells me this and respond by shaking my head. His eyes light up when I attack him in a hug and in that moment, I realize that my ears are much less itchy than before.

* * *

Since it is late at night, but before any of us are tired, we decide to watch television for a while. Somehow, Alois and Sebastian made a decision for me to sit in the middle of the two. I assume that is because they both wanted to sit next to me. The thought makes me blush with embarrassment.

I'm not entirely sure what show we are watching, but it's not that bad. We started watching halfway through, so none of us know what is happening in the storyline. Just as we gain a clue as to what is occurring, the phone rings. Sebastian excuses himself and leaves to answer the call.

As soon as Sebastian is out of sight, Alois rests his arm on my shoulder and buries his head in my neck. "You smell so nice, Ciel. I think I've already told you that, though. Hmm, well you still do~."

I lightly laugh and weakly push Alois off me, not wanting him to face the wrath of Sebastian. That doesn't happen, however, since Sebastian calls my name from the other room. I remove myself from Alois' grip and enter the room with the raven haired male. His face is more serious than I've ever seen it and it slightly...scares me.

"It's for you."

Complete confusion passes through my mind at his words and I cautiously grip the phone. "Hello?"

"Hello; you are Ciel Phantomhive, correct?"

"Y-Yes."

"I am officer Slingby. The reason for this call, is that your aunt, Angelina Durless, was found dead in her jail cell, two hours ago."

"Wh..."

"I know this must be a shock to you. I'm deeply sorry for your loss. The coroners on the site determined that the cause was poison."

My thoughts are racing so fast, I can barely speak into the phone. "Can...can I call you back...or something?"

The officer relays the number and I hang up the phone, not once looking at Sebastian. Angelina...is dead? My aunt...my only living family member...is dead. She's gone.

"Ciel? Who was that?"

"The police."

"Why did they want to talk to you? You look as if you've seen a ghost." He places the back of his hand on my forehead and removes it once he sees that it's a normal temperature.

"Angelina...she's dead."

So many emotions boil to the surface of Sebastian's eyes and I can barely keep track of them all. A question pops into my mind and I find myself not wanting to know the answer. _Who killed her?_


	11. Chapter 11

**A/N:**** Sorry about the late chapter. School has been beating me down, so I haven't been writing as much. T-T But, it's winter break now, so I'll be free to write a bit more~! :3**

**Warnings:**** Strong language, mild gore, and violence.**

**Point of View:**** First part is in third person, second in Ciel's.**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** Ooh, this story is slowly, but surely, becoming more exciting. x3 It's just taking a while. Haha. c: Yush, stalker Grell needs to shower Will with overly-dramatic love. ^^ Haha, that. Looks like a very delicious three layer cake. I wish I could eat it. T.T But, kitty Ciel says thank you. ^-^ Yay~ I unexpectedly filled that chapter with pervy Sebastian, some fluffiness, and Grell and Will time. :3 Pft, finals. I don't like them. :c I hope you did well~! Hmm... *crumbles chocolate bars and showers you with the bits* Bam.**

_End Note:__ I, just recently, figured out that you can read fanfictions without having to read across the whole computer screen. :3 You just need to click the square-ish button to the right of "Abc," beneath the story picture, and then click "1/2" to shorten the width of the story. Gah, it's so much better~ c:_

Chapter XI (Not Proofread)

"They're listening, you know," Angelina says lowly to the figure seated across the table. Her orange jumpsuit crinkles as she crosses her legs.

"I'm aware."

"I lost my kitten," she says vaguely, as to not alert the guards to any suspicious activity.

"That crow found him once again."

"Do you plan on retrieving him?" She frowns slightly when the man smirks.

"Orange isn't your color, is it?" he asks, blatantly changing the topic.

"The only reason I am in here, is because of the fact that you went against our agreement."

"Perhaps it's the lighting..."

"Stop avoiding the subject, _Claude._"

Claude sighs and narrows his golden eyes at the woman in orange. "It was rather a lot of money for a kitten, don't you think?"

"The price wasn't the problem. It never was. You just didn't want the inconvenience of a middleman."

The raven haired male hums a quiet sound of agreement and closes his eyes for a brief moment. "How is the tea? I'm afraid my cup is cold and I have yet to taste it."

"Wh—" Angelina cuts herself off when she picks up on the double-meaning behind his words. "You..." Her words are filled with disbelief and fury, mostly based on the fact that she overlooked a very important detail.

Claude lifts his wrist to check the time on his watch and waits a few seconds before speaking. "I suppose I should shed some light on why I have yet to post your bail."

Angelina widens her eyes the slightest amount as she starts to feel a constricting sensation inside her throat.

"When my kitten was taken away to the shelter, I knew I had to save him from all of those filthy animals. However, I wasn't able to be the one to do it."

As Angelina tries to say a word in retort, all that escapes her lips is a choked cough. She brings her fingers to her neck, as if trying to search for the invisible problem.

"If I had tried to adopt the little kitten, he would have caused a scene and all of my efforts would have been wasted. The shelter would have never let me claim what is mine and I was not about to let that happen." He smirks as the woman in orange tries to take deep breaths, but miserably fails. "I thought, 'perhaps a relative?' That thought led me to eventually finding his mother's sister."

The red haired woman scowls and attempts to maintain a calm façade, even through her quickly decaying state of health.

"I found that you were said to 'blend in like a chameleon,' in any situation. I suppose that rumor is true. It seems to be cracked at the moment, though." He humorlessly laughs at his last sentence. "Tell me, Angelina, was it difficult?"

No response.

"Breaking the soul of a kitten, that is. _Your sister's kitten_."

She stands abruptly and slams the palms of her hands on the metal table, fury raging in her ruby eyes. Unable to speak, she glares at the man across from her and frowns at her own actions. Reluctantly, she sits back down and tries to calm her breathing.

"I knew it. You feel _bad _for what you did. It's not much, though; I can see that. But, that small bit of hesitation is what causes problems." He glances to the side, making sure the guards haven't caught on to their one-sided conversation. "However, you did fulfill your part of the deal. You 'cared' for him and waited for his breaking point to surface." A pause. "If I hadn't seen the dogs heading to your house, I would have had him by now." Running a hand through his hair, he sighs in feigned frustration. "I had to leave and wait even longer."

His yellow eyes peek through the glasses on his nose and he sarcastically says, "What's the matter, cat got your tongue?"

Angelina's teeth start to show through her lips as she scowls and clenches her fists in anger. When she looks at the analog clock on the wall, she notices that there are less than twenty minutes of visiting time left.

"You were at a dead end when you wanted to sell your kitten, weren't you? You tried negotiating the price, but I always refused your offers. Do you know why?"

Silence.

"_Because I knew you would end up in here. _It was inevitable, especially since that crow had taken such a liking to the kitten. I knew, eventually, he would find a way to retrieve him. I just had to stall for a while. But, that's not the only reason I rejected your offers. _Kittens are much easier to train once they are broken._" He looks Angelina directly in her glaring eyes and rests his elbows on the table. "It was well worth the wait, though. If I hadn't waited all those weeks, my kitten would still have his sanity. If that were the case, I would have a much harder time obtaining him. During that month, or so, that he was in your care, he was losing faith in that _crow. _I could have snatched him up right there, since he was already breaking."

The woman raises an eyebrow slightly, as if saying, 'You wouldn't have been able to take Ciel. He was always locked in his room.'

"Hm. You know, your house isn't very secure. The locks on the doors and windows are so outdated and rusty. You wouldn't expect such a lack of security in such an upper class neighborhood. But, still, I refrained from taking my kitten back. He did look oh-so tempting, though; so vulnerable as he slept. That's why I stole a few...touches during my visits." He smirks.

Angelina coughs as a reply and starts to feel a throbbing pain boiling within her stomach.

"I left him at your house to allow his mind to eat away his sense of reason. That doesn't simply occur on its own, though; it takes care. A little care can change the taste of a dish drastically, don't you think? Although, since he is not, currently, in my possession, none of this matters. He's with that crow. I can't have some crow interfering with my plans and changing the flavor of my target. That's why I have already made preparations to re-season my meal, once I have it. It won't be long, now."

The woman in orange narrows her eyes at the man, frustrated with his words. As a wave of nausea flows over her, she realizes the severity of the situation and clutches her stomach. Claude fed her poison.

"Well, I must be going now." He stands and glances at the sickly woman, before gathering the cups and thermos of tea. As he pours the liquid from his cup into the container, he glances at Angelina. "This is a very special tea. Its flavor is so divine and long lasting, that the ones who drink it often find themselves speechless. After a day or two, they find themselves craving the rich taste of the tea. When that happens, they do anything for another drop. Some say that they _die_ in the process."

Angelina's heart rate drops.

"It has been a pleasure doing business with you, Ms. Durless."

* * *

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

As soon as Sebastian and I reenter the living room, Alois turns his head to ask us, "Who was on the phone?"

I still cannot compose my thoughts on the matter of my aunt being murdered, so I don't respond. I sit down on my previous spot on the couch and stare at nothing in particular. Sebastian fills in the silence and stands by the doorway.

"Angelina's dead."

Alois' eyes widen as he stands up immediately and scowls at the space in front of him. "What the fuck?! That bitch! _I _was going to fucking murder that bloody whore!"

None of us stop him from his actions, though, I can tell Sebastian is silently agreeing with him. The blonde clenches his fists and hangs his head down, muttering curses under his breath. I slowly look up, hoping to understand what he's thinking. From this angle, I can see through his light yellow locks and clearly see his tightly closed eyes. Before I can do anything, he snaps his head up and storms over to the front door. As he exits, he loudly opens and slams the door shut.

Sebastian walks over to the couch and sits next to me, trying to hide the same emotions that Alois feels. Not knowing why, I start to feel a not-so-familiar burning sensation in my eyes and a tightening in my throat. I gather all of my willpower to drive away the tugging feeling of letting tears fall. There is no reason for any sadness. She was a horrible person and deserved nothing less. _There's no reason for any sadness...so why am I..._

"Ciel, I—"

"No."

"What?"

"Don't tell me that everything's alright. Don't tell me that I couldn't have done anything. D-Don't...t-tell me that...t-that I'm s-safe...n-now." My voice breaks as I feel small trails of water flowing from my eyes to my cheeks.

"I wasn't going to say that."

Sebastian raises his arm and rests his warm hand on my cheek, turning my head to face him. The moment I look into his deep pools of crimson, I unconsciously lean closer, as if I'm being pulled in.

"What your aunt did to you is beyond forgivable, Ciel. She deserved more suffering than simply dying." His free hand reaches up to the ears on my head and gently pets one. "Not even the deepest depths of Hell will do justice to her for her actions to you."

I feel his hand gripping my ear and wince when he puts too much pressure. "Seba—"

"If she hadn't been taken away, I would have killed her."

My heart stops and I see the fury swimming around in his eyes. He's...he's serious.

"I would have torn her fingers from their sockets one by one and taken a rusty saw to her arms." I flinch when his nails scrape the surface of my ear. "I would have ripped the tongue from her mouth and shoved it down her revolting throat." His voice lowers and I feel fear building inside me. "I would have dumped her in an alley and let the stray dogs and rodents feed on her remains and rip her to shreds."

More tears fall from my eyes as the sharp pain on my ear intensifies. Not a second later, the pressure lightens and my nerves feel shot. Sebastian widens his eyes and removes his hands, looking extremely concerned. He rushes out of the room, not saying another word. I watch as he leaves and carefully reach my hand up to touch my ear. I wince when my fingers barely come into contact with fur. My heartbeat slows immensely when I lower my hand and see blood covering my skin.

_Blood._

_My blood._

I can't look away from the dark red substance coating my shaking fingers as I feel cold sweat coating my palms. _I'm bleeding. Sebastian...h-hurt me._ Black spots blur my vision the longer I watch my blood drip from my fingers. _I can't feel my fingers. _A cold, wet, hand covers my eyes from behind the couch and I see the black spots mix with blue.

"You need to breathe, Ciel; you're going to faint if you don't breathe!"

My head feels like it's falling behind me and I know I would fall down if I were standing. Sebastian's words are being drowned out by a deafening silence echoing through my mind. The cold sweat on my body makes every gust of warm air feel like ice against my skin. _I can't hear anything._

The hand on my eyes shifts, but doesn't leave as I feel myself being lied down on the couch. Not being able to see anything beyond this hand in front of my vision allows me to calm my breathing. The more my senses return to me, the less blue and black spots I see. My muffled hearing begins to return to me, allowing all of my senses return to the surface. I take a steady breath and lift my clean hand to remove Sebastian's from my eyes. Once light filters through my irises, everything around me has a blue hue and I squint at the sight above me.

Not having all of the blood in my head allows me to not blush at Sebastian's upside down face a few feet above mine. I place my hands on the couch, near my chest, and try to push myself into a sitting position. I don't get very far, since Sebastian grips my shoulders and forces me to lie down.

"Let go."

"No, Ciel. I don't want you to faint. You need to wait a few minutes."

That's when I notice my hands. The one that was dipped in my blood is now clean and free of any red residue. I suppose that's why Sebastian's hand was so cold and wet, then. Did he clean my ear as well?

"I didn't mean to injure you, Ciel. I'm so sorry."

"It's alright, Sebastian."

"I hurt you."

His ruby eyes look so worried right now. It's strange to think the cause of that look is me. I don't want him to waste his concern, though.

"It's fine."

"I let my anger seep through my fingers and didn't realize I was hurting you. Why didn't you say anything?"

I don't want to say.

"Why w—" His eyes narrow as he cuts off his own sentence. Has he figured it out? "It's because of_ them_, isn't it?"

I feel my dry eyes start to burn again and I know he won't let me ignore him. "I used to tell them to stop, whenever I felt pain. I quickly realized that making any noise didn't stop them at all. So...I stopped...trying."

"Tell me if you ever feel pain, Ciel."

I look up at him in shock at his voice. He sounds so sincere.

"O-Okay."

After he lifts me into a sitting position, I am swiftly pulled to the side in a warm hug. My head rests against his chest and I clearly hear his heartbeat. A smile crosses my lips, along with a blush as I reach up and rest my hand against the beating organ of his. My smile grows considerably when I feel his heartbeat speeding up.

More than ten minutes pass, in which neither of us leave the couch. I don't want to change the atmosphere, but I need to say something. "We need to find Alois."

Sebastian lets out a sigh and silently nods. We both stand up and I put on my coat as he steps into his shoes. Just as we turn to the door, it opens, revealing a calm Alois. Did he just leave the house for a walk? The blonde boy looks at us and I can tell he's looking at my ears. He frowns and steps into the house, closing the door behind him.

"What the hell happened, Ciel?"

He walks up to me and reaches his hand up to touch my ear. I expect to feel his fingers, but...I don't. "It's nothing, Alois."

"Did Sebastian do this to you?"

"Y-Yes, bu—"

Alois cuts me off and turns to a very guilt ridden Sebastian. "You fucking bastard! What the hell did you think you were doing?!" He nears the raven haired male and furiously scowls at him. "_If you lay another damn finger on him, I'll kill you._" Before I blink, Alois raises his fist and slams it into Sebastian's jaw, making him take a step back.

"Alois!"

He ignores my outburst and continues fiercely swearing at Sebastian. I watch as the blonde tries to throw another punch, but his fist is gripped by a larger one. Sebastian pulls Alois closer and leans down to lowly say, "_**Don't fucking threaten me.**_"

The blue eyed boy scowls and releases his hand, only to leave the house once more. I can only stare wide eyed at the door, disbelief flooding my senses. _What just happened?_

"I'll be right back," Sebastian says as he heads for the restroom.

I watch him leave and feel torn between running outside to find Alois and running into the restroom to help Sebastian. Knowing Alois will eventually be back, I find myself in the restroom with Sebastian.

"Are you alright?"

A sigh. "Yes, it will heal in a few days."

His jaw is covered with a cloth, so I can't tell how serious the injury is, but he doesn't seem to be in too much pain. _He could have avoided that punch; why didn't he? _My mind feels like it's being compressed and pushed to a lower space in my brain. Without thinking, I walk behind Sebastian and wrap my arms around his waist. As I bury my face in his back, he places the cloth on the counter and turns around to face me. I don't pull away and, instead, press my face into his chest.

I inhale his addicting scent and never want to leave. He places one of his hands on the back of my head and runs his fingers through my hair in a calming gesture. His other hand rests on my back, lightly holding me close to him. I can feel his body heat through his clothing and my heartbeat quickens when I realize just how close we are.

"I'm not sure if this day can get any worse," he says with slight humor in his words.

I feel a smile tug on the corners of my lips at his horrible attempt at lightening the mood.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N:**** Did anyone catch Sebastian's first real cussing in the last chapter? x3 'Twas bolded for effect. *-* Oh, and I had so much fun writing this chapter. I couldn't stop the words from flowing~ ^-^**

**Warnings:**** Mild language. This. THIS. This chapter is so full of fluff. Oh my...I can't even begin to describe it. Haha. x3**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive (I'll make Sebastian's and Alois' POV's later).**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** I agree. ^-^ Ah, yush. Sebby needs to work on his temperament issues. *o* I know, it's so sad that Ciel has all these conflicting emotions about everything. T-T Psh, not being sad about Angelina's death doesn't make you a bad person at all. c: Glad to know I'm understood, bro. School and whatnot. o3o Gah, that's so great! I suppose my 'good luck' wishes work, then. Maybe I should sell them. :3 4.0...that's so awesome. x3 Oh, I love chocolate. I think I eat too much at times. T.T Well, we put up a fake pine tree and give presents to each other, so that's our holiday. ^-^ Awe, I luvs you too~ c: *Is burned by hot chocolate* Haha. I want some cake now. *Tosses you a handful of cheesecakes***

**BooKat:**** Oh hi. :3 You found me~! x3 Haha, I missed you. T-T Yush, being bored can cause problems. *-* Many. Problems. Mhm. *Nods* But, yeah. You found me. c: Now, read on~! ^-^**

Chapter XII (Sort of proofread)

It's raining now.

The snow has nearly all melted, leaving only water in its wake. I rather enjoy the rain, but only when I'm not outside. I like the sound of the winter rain as it hits the roof and windows around me. The only sound I don't like, is that horribly loud thunder. The lightning that accompanies the dreadful sound isn't pleasant either. I never know when to expect it and it always leaves my nerves on edge. It's a good thing there's no storm right now.

Ever since Alois left earlier today, I've been worried. He hasn't come back and I don't know where he could be. He didn't tell us where he was going and there is no way to contact him. Sebastian assured me that Alois will be fine and that there is nothing to worry about, but I could see the traces of doubt running around in his eyes. I'm sure Alois will be alright. I'm sure of it. I push all of my doubts to the farthest corners of my mind, not wanting to waste any more time with assumptions.

I curl deeper into my bed sheets and try to find a more comfortable position as I try to clear my mind. Sleep has eluded me for more hours than I'd like to admit right now, but it's so damn _cold _in here that I can't stop shivering. Why does Sebastian like to keep the temperature in his house below freezing? Especially considering the pouring rain outside. You'd think he has enough common sense to turn on the heater, but no. No heat for this house. Heat? What's that? Oh, isn't it that warm, comforting, air that helps prevent hypothermia? Not in Sebastian's house! No; in Sebastian's house, we get cold, freezing, hypothermia-inducing, frostbite-causing air. So come on down and take a deep breath of this oxygen; it might stop your lungs from working, but oh well!

Dammit, it's cold.

My tail wraps itself around my waist to keep in some body heat, which actually does help a slight amount, but not enough. I have already searched around the house for some blankets and gathered as many as I could. They have helped a bit, but it's still colder than I would like. So now, here I am. Lying underneath five layers of sheets and blankets, shivering. I don't even know where the thermostat is. If I did, I'd change the temperature immediately. _Ugh._

I stick my head underneath the covers and bring my knees to my chest, just as a thought pops into my mind. I could wake Sebastian up and tell him to turn on the heat. After all, if I can't sleep, why should he be able to? It only makes sense. But, that would mean that I'd have to step out of the 'warm' cocoon that I have made and walk through the house. With bare feet. I can't do that.

A particularly annoying shiver courses through me and I make my decision. I will never obtain any sleep this way. I need to wake up Sebastian. I gather all of my strength to leave the warm nest I have made and slowly push the covers away from my body. If I had thought it was cold before, _this _temperature makes me almost gasp. It feels like I'm breathing dry ice. As quickly as I can, I tiredly jump off the bed and pull the sheets from the mattress. Like hell I'm leaving them behind.

The raindrops gush against the window of my room in stronger torrents than before, but I pay that fact no mind as I rush to Sebastian's room. I wrap the five blankets around my frame as securely as I can and feel my ears being flattened against my head by the pressure on top of them. With shaking feet, I make my way down the hall and scan the doors for the correct one. At times like these, I'm glad I don't have to turn on the lights to see, because I think my hand would contract some form of frostbite.

With my ears pressed against my head and the sheets blocking out any sounds, all I can hear is the sound of my breathing. I barely notice this fact as I finally locate Sebastian's room. Pausing for a few seconds, I mull over my options. After many seconds of deliberation, I have decided to use both of my hands and turn the doorknob, without exposing them to the cold air. Careful not to let the blankets fall off my body, I reach out and grip the handle as tightly as I can. The sheets are making this task painfully difficult, but I refuse to be subjected to the freezing air anymore than I already am.

I try to grip the handle tighter as I twist and turn so I can, hopefully, open the door. But, low and behold, it's still closed. _Still_. I've been standing in this damn hallway for at _least _five minutes now. I don't know. It could be five seconds. Maybe even five days for all I know. I think my brain is freezing over. I can't take this anymore. With shivering fingers, I uncover my hand and reach for the doorknob. I wince as the air flows over my skin, but grip the handle and turn.

The moment that door opens, I rush inside and close it behind me, as if closing the door will prevent the room from being any less cold. Ignoring the fact that I will eventually have to, once again, open the door, I walk further into the room. No light whatsoever is shining through his bedroom window, but I suppose that's to be expected. It _is _nearly two in the morning.

I finally reach Sebastian's bed and notice that he is lying on his back, with one sheet covering his body. One blanket and he's sleeping. I have _five _blankets and I'm freezing. That doesn't make any sense. Before I can think further into the matter, Sebastian makes a noise that tears me from my thoughts. I think he just said my name. Edging a tad closer to him, I take note of his mussed, raven hair and stunningly handsome features. I find myself staring longer than I had intended and start craving the feel of his lips on mine.

I shake my head and try to remind myself why I'm here.

"_Sebastian_," I whisper, not wanting to startle him too much.

No response.

"Sebastian," I repeat, a bit louder this time.

"Hm."

I frown at his lack of response and decide to take drastic measures. He's not allowed to sleep until I can. With that thought in mind, I reach my blanket covered hand out and poke his cheek. His face scrunches up slightly and he turns on his side to face me. I feel my heart beat a little faster when he mumbles my name again. Just as I try to poke his cheek once more, I see his tired, crimson eyes watching me.

"Uhm..." I freeze in my motions and retract my hand, not actually having expected him to awaken.

"...Ciel?"

His voice sounds so raspy and full of sleep that I almost forget he can't see me. I probably look ridiculous right now, so I don't want to turn on any lights.

"It's me," I say, hoping to remember the reason I came in here in the first place.

As soon as he hears that, he blinks once and sits up straight. "Are you okay?" He reaches for the light on his nightstand and lets light flood the room.

I quickly close my eyes, not used to the brightness. Turning slightly away from the lamp, I squint and reply, "Yeah."

He smiles at me and lets out a relieved sigh. I can hear the amusement in his voice as he asks, "Why are you carrying your bed around?"

I frown as I feel my cheeks heat up and create a large contrast to the cold air, which makes me remember the reason I came here in the first place. I was so lost in watching Sebastian that I completely forgot my plan.

"It's cold."

A pause. "Really?"

I feel a shiver jolt through my entire being and curl the sheets more around my body. I don't have any time to reply, since Sebastian stands and wraps his arms around me. Well, around the covers. Without saying anything, he removes my protective barrier of sheets and spreads them onto the mattress. I instantly shiver at the cold air and glare at him, completely oblivious to his reasoning. He folds back the covers slightly and turns his attention to me.

Sebastian offers a comforting smile and lifts me into his arms. I blush instantly at the contact and notice how absolutely warm he is. Before I have a chance to bury myself into the heat, I find that I'm out of his arms and on his mattress. I begin to warm up as I snuggle into the sheets and inhale Sebastian's sent. Said male returns to his spot in the bed and turns to face me with tired ruby eyes. I can't help myself and scoot closer to him.

"Better?"

"Mhm," I answer and smile contentedly. I suppose my plan didn't turn out the way I thought it would, but I think I like this outcome a bit more. Just a bit.

My ears perk up when Sebastian wraps his arms around my waist and pulls me closer to him. _This is so much better._ I start to purr as I bury my nose into the crook of the raven haired male's neck. _He smells so nice. _Placing my hands on his chest, I smile when I can feel his heartbeat. It feels like a reminder that I'm not dreaming.

The sound of water droplets hitting the glass of Sebastian's bedroom window intensifies and I flinch when a clap of thunder crashes through the room. I didn't see the lightning, so I didn't have any warning. I close my eyes tighter and try to focus on something else. When another echo of thunder crosses my ears, I lift the covers to fully cover my head and raise my hands to my ears.

A few minutes pass and no booming thunder occurs, so I remove my hands and feel myself relax slightly. Of course, just as I do, another ripple of thunder sounds and I accidentally let out a yelp that I would rather have not. Sebastian stirs slightly and I can tell he's awake now, since he joins me with his head under the covers and presses me closer to him.

"It's only thunder, Ciel. It can't hurt you," he whispers into my ear.

I look up at him and blush when I see his sleep-filled eyes observing me. He doesn't even care that I've woken him up twice now._ He's so nice to me._

"Thank you," I whisper.

He hums as a response and I slowly close my eyes as he does the same.

* * *

The doorbell sounds and my head snaps up in attention, along with my ears.

"Who is that?" I ask.

"We'll see," Sebastian tells me as he strides over to the door and opens it.

I walk over to him as soon as he reenters the room and notice that he's holding a rather large box. I watch as he places the cardboard box in front of the couch and walks into the kitchen. As I walk up to the strange object, I read the various words written down and study the size of the box. _It's nearly as huge as I am; just what is in this?_

The rain hasn't let up since last night, so the box is slightly damp in places and soaked in others. There are small tears here and there and I can't, for the life of me, figure out what is in here. Just as I am about to use my claws and rip apart the cardboard, Sebastian walks back in. He nears the foreign object, with a serrated knife, and starts to open up the box. When he finishes, he turns to face me and holds out the knife.

"Could you hold th—" He cuts himself off and places the piece of silver on a nearby table. "Nevermind," he finishes with a smile in my direction.

I don't question his action, but I have a pretty good assumption that he doesn't want me to...'accidentally' hurt myself. I brush it off and watch as Sebastian stands on the couch and lifts something from within the box. Slowly but surely, more of the box's contents are revealed. I feel my anticipation growing as blue and red colors emerge from the brown cardboard.

I almost gape at the sight of _another _box being placed right next to the first. Sebastian hops down from his perch on the couch and stands next to the wrapped box. It's a bit smaller than the brown parcel, but not by much. It's covered with bright colors and has a large, red bow at the top.

"What is this?" I ask with a tilt of my head.

Sebastian makes his way over to me and pulls me into a hug, which I promptly reciprocate. My action causes my cheeks to burn, but I ignore it. "Well, I know I missed your birthday, but I wanted to give you something."

My...birthday?

"How did—"

"I found out when I was in the process of adopting you." His arms tighten around me and I find myself smiling.

I would have never thought my birthday was a day to be happy about, but it's difficult _not _to be happy right now. "Thank you, Sebastian."

He releases his hold on me and I reluctantly do the same. "There's no need to thank me." He smiles and scratches my ear for a moment before speaking again. "Now, why don't you open your present?"

I slowly nod and walk over to the box. I can't remember the last time I opened a present. On my birthday, no less. Unable to contain my anxiousness, I peel off the bow and let it fall to the ground as I start tearing up the wrapping. Small shreds of paper drift to the floor and spread out around the box as I continue my assault on the present. When I finish, I take a step back and study the pictures and words on the revealed box.

Sebastian steps in beside me and places his hand on my shoulders in a partial hug. "It's an easel."

My eyes widen when realization dawns on me and I look up at Sebastian as he continues. How did he know...?

"I saw your drawing of the tree outside and it was amazing, so I thought...you would like to have this."

Not being able to speak, I nod excitedly and lean up to kiss Sebastian. I instantly start purring and my eyes flutter closed when he returns the gesture. I reach up to wrap my arms around his neck and my fingers tangle in his velvety black locks as his hands encircle my waist. After a few moments of this, we slowly pull apart and Sebastian helps me assemble the easel.

* * *

We placed it in my room, near my window. I really love the gift and I can't believe that Sebastian bought it for me. As we head back into the living room, a question forms in my head and I ask Sebastian, "When's your birthday?"

"Oh, don't worry about it. It's quite a ways away."

I make a mental note to myself to remember to ask again in a few months and drop the topic. Sebastian told me that he ordered my gift when he was on his break at work and I smile at the thought of Sebastian thinking of me at work.

"What should we do with this..."

I look up and see said male studying the box. I walk up to it and my curiosity grows with each passing second. It's an interesting box, isn't it? When I am close enough, I stand on my toes and place my hands on the edge of the cardboard. It looks so comfortable...

Without another second passing, I'm being lifted up by Sebastian. I squirm slightly at the strange feeling of hanging in the air, but smile lightly when I realize what he's doing. _He's lowering my into the box. _Once my feet hit the cardboard, I stick my head out of the box and look around me. This box reminds me of a hug. My uncovered eye peeks over the edge at Sebastian and he bends over to stare directly at me. He wants a challenge, does he?

With a smirk, I ready myself for the attack and position my body just right. My tail flickers behind me as I lean back less than an inch and leap forward at Sebastian. He dodges my attack and laughs as the box moves. As I steady my footing, I regain my previous position and watch as he does the same. Just as my tail swishes and I lean back for the attack, Sebastian reaches his hand up. I break eye contact and stand up straight as he places something on my head. My ears twitch at the strange tickling feeling and I direct my attention to Sebastian for answers.

He has a smile painted across his face and he won't stop staring at me. I blush deeply and cross my arms, not understanding the situation. I reach up to see just what he placed on my head, but when I do, I feel my blush growing hotter by the second. _He put the bow on my head._

"Uhm...Ciel?"

I look up at him and quickly avert my gaze when I see his adoring expression. "What?"

"Could I...could I take a picture?"

My eyes widen at the request and I turn away from him as I mumble an 'okay.' I can't really oppose him, after what he's done for me. But, still. _A picture?_

He runs off and comes back not a minute later, with a camera. I'm not very fond of having my picture taken, but if it's Sebastian, then I suppose it's alright. After a few moments of clicks, Sebastian ceases taking pictures and leans down to stare directly at me again. Without thought, I see this as a challenge and ready myself for another attack. My tail flickers and I lean back slightly, before jumping towards Sebastian with full force. As I stand back up, from another unsuccessful attack, I notice that the raven haired male is standing back up.

Did he just take a picture?

"You don't mind if I frame these, do you?"

I watch as Sebastian leaves the room and heads back into his bedroom. I can't find my voice and stutter incomprehensible words as he returns to the living room. He smiles at me and I avoid his gaze, not certain that I will be able to retain my blush if I look directly at him. Sebastian walks over to me and stands a foot away as he pets one of my ears. I hum in approval and instantly react to the touch, by leaning into his hand.

"So adorable," he whispers.

I nearly lose it when he starts to scratch my neck, just under my chin. Feeling my legs start to give way, I grip the edge of the box and weakly support myself. The small tingles that form on the surface of my ear have me purring again and I smile when Sebastian kneels in front of me. I lean into his hand even more and apparently don't pay enough attention, since the box topples over and onto Sebastian. With a loud 'thud,' everything comes falling to the ground.

He helps me out of the box and I frown slightly when I wish I could be back in the piece of cardboard. _It was so nice._ I wonder if Sebastian would like to try it out sometime. Who wouldn't?

"Do you want to stay in the box, Ciel?"

My lips quirk upwards in a smile as he reads my mind and I jump onto the couch as soon as Sebastian fixes the box's position. I climb into the cardboard and sit down inside this time. _This would be the perfect place for a nap._ When I rest my head against the side, my eyes close of their own free will and I can't fight the sleep that's pulling my consciousness away from this room. _This is the perfect place for a nap._


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N:**** Enjoy this late chapter~ Cat poop smells terrible. :c**

**Warnings:**** Language, something else...somethine else...I don't know; I'm tired. -3-**

**Point of View:**** Alois Trancy (Having some conflicting feelings, I see...)**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** Haha, all cats love boxes. c: That's so adorable. *-* I didn't have any boxes for my cat to use, but if I did. *3* I would make a fort. Well, another one. Made of cardboard boxes. :3 Awe, Ciel-in-a-box. I want one. x3 I wish I could draw. *o* Gah, reading about your coldness makes me realize how cold it is right now. Pfft. I've seen one episode...I think. Yah. I think I just forgot about it and haven't seen number two. -3- Psh, social life. What's that? c: Oh, thank you~ Yush, my psychic powers. *Showers you with bundt cakes***

**BooKat:**** No, this isn't over yet. We still have much fluff to cover. Not to mention...that plot box that Claude has been holding for the past...ten chappies. I think ten. Awe, thank you. x3 I'm glad you like it~ Looks like a pretty delicious cookie. *3* Nom nom...**

Chapter XIII (I need to start proofreading these.)

"Oh? And what brings you to my humble abode, hm~?"

"Do you mind if I stay here for a while?"

"Hehe~ not at all, not at all! Come right on in."

The little amount of light that lit my way as I walked over to the Undertaker's, was slowly vanishing by the second. I couldn't very well go back to Sebastian's. Not after what just happened, anyway. And it's not as if I could go back to _Claude's. _That option never even crossed my mind. That's why I'm here. I had to find somewhere to stay and I've already taken shelter at his residence once before. He doesn't appear to be an extremely trustworthy person, but he hasn't done anything to make me dislike him...yet.

"Thanks," I say with a small smile as I step further inside the dark shop.

He really should think about installing some light fixtures or _something._ Surely this dim lighting can't be healthy for the eyes. But, then again, I don't really care. It's not my problem how he treats his eyes' health. Come to think of it, I've never actually _seen _his eyes. They're always hidden beneath that grey fringe of his. It's a wonder he can see past his bangs in the first place.

I take a glance around the room and take note of all the small coffins and jars. Not to mention the cobwebs and dust. I don't understand how someone would even step foot into this shop, let alone _pay _for this man to 'take care' of their pets. I suppose, since he has the only shop of its kind in town, that people are bound to arrive. What, exactly, _is _this shop, though? It's sort of disgusting.

Pulling up a chair, I sit in front of the counter and wait for Undertaker to say something. I mean, he has to say something, considering I left without telling him. He swivels around in his stool a bit, before turning to me and flashing a wide grin. _I still can't see his damn eyes._

"So, little spider, how long will your visit last this time~?"

I don't know how he came up with that name. "It's Alois."

"Hm? Hehe~ sure it is."

"Sorry about leaving so suddenly," I say, not with much enthusiasm.

"Oh, it's quite alright, boy. Creatures come and go in this here shop and I simply assumed you were no different, you see~?"

That doesn't seem like a comment someone would want to hear. 'Creatures?' Does he mean the dead animals? I don't even know what to make of that. I am different than those creatures. I'm not dead. "Well, I don't know how long I'll be staying here," I say, obviously changing the subject.

"Hee~ you can stay as long as you'd like."

It's difficult to be at ease near this man, since he's constantly watching me. Well, actually, I don't know. He could be looking to the side or to the floor. He could be closing his eyes and falling asleep. _But, I don't know, because he has that goddamn hair covering his eyes._

After a few more meaningless words, exchanged between the two of us, I head over to the room in which I have stayed before. I'm not sure what the room used to be before I came here, but it's small. Maybe that's just my eyes dying.

* * *

It started raining today. I knew it would happen eventually, but I didn't think the rain would visit so soon. I was hoping to fit a few more days of snow into my week. Especially since I don't have an umbrella with me. My winter clothes are all in my room at Claude's house. Just thinking about his face forces a frown to grow on my lips. It's been so long and I haven't heard one word from him. Not one word. After all these years of living together, I would think he would have the decency to at least say _something. _But, no. Not after I ran away. That was the last straw for him, apparently.

The sheets underneath my body crinkle when I turn on my side, to face the grey wall. A crack in the wall, right in front of my eyes, is visible, even in this nonexistent light. When I reach out to trace the crevice, it doesn't leave. I smile slightly when a few minutes pass and it still remains in its place, unmoving. I wonder how long it will stay here.

I wonder what Claude is doing? What would he be doing if I was still there? He would probably be in my room by now. I would have fallen asleep long ago and be without nightmares the entire night. In the morning, I would wake up to a room without Claude and feel a bit saddened. But, when I would walk downstairs and head into the kitchen, there he would be. We would eat breakfast together and I would tell him all about the dreams I had. I would tell him that I hadn't had any nightmares and he would tell me that I would be late for school if I didn't leave soon.

I would ignore his words and try to pry some emotion out of his mind. It would never work, though. But, he didn't need me to pry them out. He had the emotions, but he just didn't want to let them show. _He loved me..._

My eyes widen in shock. _What the fuck? _Of course he didn't love me! Why the hell would I ever think that? He never loved me. He didn't love me then and he doesn't love me now. He has no emotions and never will. He was just using me, that's all. He was just...

_I loved him..._

No. I didn't love him. I was misinterpreting what I thought to be love. Claude's a narcissistic bastard and nothing will change that. I didn't love him. He made me think I did. He found me while I was broken and confused, and he used that to his advantage. Claude couldn't care, in the least, about me. He could have told me that everything would be alright. He could have told me that I was safe. He didn't. He never said one goddamn thing. All he did was take me back to his house, once I was adopted for the second time. He never told me he loved me. _But, I did..._

I didn't. I didn't love him.

_'How would you know?'_

How would I...

_'You've never known anything other than what was. How would you know what love is?'_

I...I know what love is. I know what it is...because...I loved Luka and he loved me. He was almost like a brother. He loved me...right? Love...it's the one thing that doesn't hurt. Everything else causes pain. When I see love, it always carries a smile. Smiles aren't the spawn of pain. Ciel and Sebastian love each other...I can see that. I know they love each other. I know what love is.

_'Yet, you have no idea of the feeling.'_

The feeling of love? I wonder...what is that feeling? Is it nice...? Is that truly what brings a smile? I used to smile when Claude was near me. I would smile all the time, if only to try to bring out his smile. Why did I smile? Back then...what reason did I have to smile? The fakeness of Claude's love didn't faze me in the slightest. I had felt that phony feeling for so long, I mistook that for the original. That was easy to do, since I had never felt the real emotion.

My parents...I don't remember them. _Did they feel love for one another?_

I pull the covers to my ear as I continue to watch the still crack in the wall. I smirk when I answer my own question in my mind. _Of course they didn't; they left._ But, Claude didn't leave. My smirk fades and my eyebrows knit together as I continue thinking. He didn't leave me, I left him. I ran away. There was no way he could have found me. I ran to the furthest area I possibly could. I don't know if he tried to look for me. Maybe he tried to find where I was, only to end up empty handed. He would have never found me, huddled by a dark building, in the dead of winter. Maybe he thought I was dead and didn't bother searching, knowing that I wouldn't be found alive. What if he is worried about me? Does he still think I'm alive?

_Would he care?_

* * *

"Okay, bye CiCi," I answer into the phone.

I used the shop's phone, since I am currently in no possession of one. Apparently, Undertaker has Sebastian's home phone number. I assume that is because of his past pets. Probably cats. So, I called and Ciel answered the phone. As soon as he did, I was relieved. I really didn't want to have to deal with Sebastian, after what happened between us. When I heard about the death of Ciel's aunt, I nearly lost it. I felt like the situation was out of my control and everything that I meant to do was never done.

I left the house, afraid I would break something _in_ the house, and took a short walk. When I came back, Ciel's ear was damaged. The only reason I could rationalize, was that he was hurt by someone. The only other person, would be Sebastian. Sebastian hurt Ciel. That was when I lost it. The one time I leave Ciel alone, he is hurt. By _Sebastian._

Without thinking, I lashed out and hit him, which didn't relieve any of my worries. What surprised me, though, was the fact that Sebastian didn't dodge my attack. He simply accepted it. I guess when I said that I'd kill him if he ever touched Ciel again, he snapped out of it. I nearly gaped when he grabbed my fist and glared straight into my eyes. He looked so furious then. More than I have ever seen him become. That's why I left the house. I didn't want the situation to escalate and grow any more than it already had.

I told Ciel, on the phone just now, that I am at the Undertaker's. He sounded confused, but didn't say much about it. We talked for awhile and I found my mood to be in higher spirits than before the call. But, that happens whenever I talk to Ciel. He just makes me happy. I don't know why, though. I know I love him, but is that why he makes me happy? Does he raise my mood because he is Ciel or because I love him? I suppose they walk hand in hand. I love Ciel because he makes me happy.

Undertaker offered me a job at his shop today. I told him I would think about it. The idea of working with a man whose eyes are always hidden and whose smirk is not, causes me to be a bit apprehensive. And besides, I've seen what he does before. He showed me when I first stayed here. We were in another dark room and all I could think about, was the fact that it smelled like shit. I couldn't last more than a few minutes, before I excused myself and ran out of there. He chuckled to himself, but I hardly even noticed.

That incident aside, I took his job offer of secretary. I always thought that secretaries were strange and didn't have much personality. But, what do I know? At least I won't have to be in that room with that god-awful stench. Instead, I answer phones and take messages as I play simple card games on the computer.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N:**** The lovely Azaora has drawn a very adorable kitty Ciel-in-a-box and I would like to share the cuteness of this picture. :3 It was inspired by chapter 12 and it's so amazing~ I'm not sure how links work on here, but the picture is on Azaora's deviantart page. (gallery/#/d5r6aaj) "Neko Ciel in a box," is the title. ****Thank you soo much~! c:**

**Warnings:**** Fluff, pervy Sebastian, maybe some language.**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Kuroneko Holmes:**** Oh, it's alright. ^^ I hope your test wasn't too life-draining. Tests tend to do that from time to time. *-* I love how everyone is so supportive of Alois. x3 Except when it comes to Sebastian and Ciel. Haha, he can't disrupt them. c: Yush, Undertaker is quite the character, isn't he? :3 I luv you~ *Showers you with potatoes and cheese* ^-^**

**End Note:**** I feel like my best work is done at 1:00-3:00a.m. -3- (The majority of this was written between the hours of 1 and 3.) 5,200+ words, guys. Enjoy~**

Chapter XIV

I don't understand why this brand of flea shampoo is more expensive than the other, but I suppose I never will. I assume there is something of a higher quality inside, so that is why I chose it. Ciel deserves the very best and that is what I shall give him. After a very strange encounter with Grell and William, we leave the store. I wonder if my therapy sessions with Grell are getting through to him. I doubt it.

As Alois, Ciel and I start to return to my house, I notice a change in Ciel's behavior. He seems much more nervous and fragile than earlier today and I can only assume that it is the result of the flea shampoo. Glancing to my side, I notice that Ciel's posture is very tense. His hair covers his eyes, so it's difficult to discern his expression and I almost reach out to brush the silky locks out of his face. I don't, though, because I'm driving and I know that if I had a chance to fully see Ciel's features, I would be much too distracted. I wonder what he's thinking.

In my peripheral vision, I notice Ciel's twitching ear and his fight to will away the itch. His little hands are balled into fists and he looks as though he's struggling to hold onto his willpower. He obviously doesn't like the fact that something, other than himself, is controlling his actions. He's having an obviously hard time with maintaining this will, but he isn't giving in to the fleas just yet. Such determination.

I can't help the smile that spreads onto my face as Ciel's hand reaches up and fiercely scratches his furry ear. His head tilts to the side as he does this and I catch a brief glimpse of his big, blue eye. My heart beats just a bit faster at the sight and I turn my gaze back onto the road ahead of us. He's so adorable and he doesn't even have to try. That's why I'm not surprised when I notice my hand is already running through his cobalt fur. Ciel drops his hands from his ears and leans closer to me, slightly smiling as he does.

_So cute~_

* * *

As I pour some noodles into the salted, boiling pot of water, I notice something rather odd. I steal a passing glance at the clock on the wall and realize the time. Ciel has been in the restroom for nearly thirty minutes now; is he alright?

Lowering the temperature on the stove, I leave the kitchen and head for the bathroom. I pass Alois sitting on the couch and see no sign of Ciel in that room and continue to my destination. Before I reach the door, I see that it's closed. So, he's still in there, then? I take a few more steps and stand outside the room, listening for any reassuring sounds. _I don't hear anything._ I press my ear to the closed wooden surface and wait for a sound. A few seconds pass and no noises come from the restroom. _Is he alright? He's been in there for a long time and there are no sounds. Did..._

My eyes widen and I feel my heart drop when my mind gathers all of the pieces and sticks them together. _Did Ciel...? No, that's not possible. There are no sharp objects in there. I moved all of the possible threats into a high cupboard in the kitchen the moment he returned from Angelina's. There is no way that he would be able to hurt himself; I made absolutely sure of that. Unless..._

The bathtub.

_Water isn't sharp, water isn't a threat, water isn't lethal._

_If it isn't inhaled._

_If it is not surrounding a pair of oxygen-deprived lungs; if the tips of dark blue, fur-coated ears are not submerged within the liquid for three minutes; if Ciel has not drowned. If Ciel has not drowned, water is not lethal._

But I can't hear anything from beyond this door. Not even an intake of breath.

"I can't do this," a whisper sounds from within the walls of the restroom.

I nearly collapse to the floor with the immense relief I feel after that beautiful melody caresses my ears. The soft, quiet tone of Ciel's voice drifts through my mind and I can't stop replaying the words. Such breathtaking words. Every syllable that strikes my eardrum sounds like a symphony of singing angels.

_He's still alive._

"Ciel? Are you alright in there?" I find my voice and feel a desperate need to see him.

"Yeah."

Another stream of letters that causes my want to be near him increase. _I have to see him._ _I need to see for myself that he is still breathing...that his ears are still flickering...that his eyes are still seeing...that his heart has not stopped beating._

"Ugh!"

"Ciel? Are you sure everything's alright in there?"

"I-I'm fine!"

I don't leave.

"I...can't do this."

A small laugh escapes my throat at his words and I finally have my chance. "I'll help you."

"Uh, there's no need for that, really," he says, almost pleadingly.

I sigh and try to convince him to let me help. "You've been in there for thirty minutes, Ciel." After a few more seconds of silence, I take a hold of the door knob and turn it. Before I even so much as push the door, I let him know that I'm entering. I hear a small splash of water as I step into the room, allowing my eyes to immediately settle on Ciel in the bathtub. I barely notice the fact that he looks as though he just stepped into the water and close the door behind me, locking it in the process. A smile grows on my face and I have a sudden urge to take Ciel into my arms and never let him go.

"I don't need any help, you know," he says with wavering confidence and a light blush.

"And that is why you haven't gotten your hair wet, isn't it?"

"S-Shut up."

Taking the shampoo off the counter, I unwrap the container and near the one I love. "I'm glad to see that you're not as afraid of water as you once were." _And that you are still able to blink your gorgeous eyes._

"I wasn't _afraid _of it. I just...didn't like it."

I kneel before the basin of water and roll up my sleeves, not wanting to unnecessarily soak my shirt. As soon as I finish, I waste no time and reach up to gently pet Ciel's ears. The panic I felt just moments before hasn't fully faded and I can't shake the disturbing images of a lifeless Ciel in my bathtub. _I can't ever let that happen. _"We'll get rid of these nasty things."

My kitten smiles and nods in agreement to my words as I take a hold of the water sprayer and rinse his hair. Once everything is at least damp, I pour some of the shampoo onto my hands and massage the mixture into his fur. Every few seconds, I have to remind myself that Ciel is still with me. I let my hand drift to his porcelain shoulder as his eyes flutter closed. Everything my life is, is Ciel. When he begins to purr, I nearly break down at the simple action. As my hand wanders to his waist, I feel the warmth of his soft skin just underneath my fingertips and smile a bit more.

His eyes open slightly as his tail flicks some water droplets onto my hair and face. I hear his purring grow louder as I trail my hand over to his stomach. I feel every movement of his body and sigh when I replay those same words within my head. _Ciel's still very much alive._ I continue shampooing his ears with my other hand and make sure to be as gentle as possible. "So adorable," I coo into his ear.

Ciel jumps slightly and faces me with a pretty blush dusting his face. He turns away with embarrassment and I lower my hand from his ear to his cheek to turn his gaze back upon me. The moment I see his heart-stopping violet and cerulean eyes, I lose my unspoken words and lean in to capture his lips. Without stopping for breath, I deepen the kiss and let all of my painful worries and emotions to be projected. _I will not allow for Ciel to die. _I place my hand on his hip and the other on the nape of his neck, to rid ourselves of the unnecessary distance. The low purring starts to raise in volume as he takes a hold of my neck and water drips onto my shirt. _So beautiful._

My thoughts drift to Ciel and only Ciel when he lightly grips my hair. _So sinfully beautiful. _I let my hand slide across his delicate body and rest on his thigh, having momentarily forgotten about my thoughts. He squirms slightly and shifts a little bit away from my hand, trying to tell me he isn't comfortable with this. _He doesn't want this, but... _With a burning desire to move my fingers just a bit more, I tighten my grip on his smooth skin and push my hand forward barely a centimeter, before Ciel tenses.

Blinking out of my haze, I see something I never wanted to see. Ciel is on the other side of the bathtub, squeezing his eyes shut, _because of me._ The guilt that runs through my body has me almost rush out of the room. But, instead of leaving, I take a seat in the chair by the door. If I need to leave, the door is a foot away. I simply can't bring myself to leave him alone again. When I bury my face in my hands, I realize just what I've done. _I've just molested Ciel. Ciel. My kitten. I just ripped the trust he had for me into pieces. No adhesive will ever be able to fix what I've just accomplished. Everything we've had is shattered. I can't refer to Ciel as my kitten anymore. I have no right to even be near Ciel right now, let alone place a claim on him._

"Sebastian?"

_That voice..._

"Yes?"

_I don't deserve it._

Standing from my perch on the chair, I make my way over to the bathtub, once more. I can't help but take slow steps, afraid that my—that Ciel will tell me that he wants me out of his life. As I kneel before him, I shamefully look into his eyes and see that he wants to ask me why. Why I destroyed the trust I have spent months creating; why I broke his sense of security; why I took advantage of the situation; _why._

I don't break eye contact and I try to come up with all of the words I so desperately want to say. Those words flood my mind so quickly, it's a miracle I find the two that barely summarize everything. "I'm sorry."

The despair I feel disappears instantly when Ciel smiles. _Smiles. _That genuine smile, that seems to stop time itself, crosses his face. He shakes his head, as if telling me that he forgives me and pulls me into a hug. _A hug. He forgives me. _Burying my nose into his soapy, damp locks, I close my eyes and return the affection. _I won't let you go._

* * *

We all finish eating our pasta and gather together on the couch in the living room. I don't watch television often, so I'm not quite sure just what is being displayed. I don't wonder for too long, since the telephone rings. Standing from my spot next to Ciel, I exit the room and pick up the phone. Curiosity builds within me at the fact that a police officer is calling, for Ciel. I shout to Ciel that the phone is for him and he walks into the room a few seconds later.

He takes the phone and places it by his ear. "Hello?" A pause. "Y-Yes." His eyes widen. "Wh..." What happened? "Can...can I call you back...or something?"

His eyesight is somewhere completely invisible to me as he hangs up the phone and stumbles slightly in the process.

"Ciel? Who was that?" I ask, even though I know who it was. I need to bring Ciel back into reality.

"The police."

"Why did they want to talk to you? You look as if you've seen a ghost." And it's true. His face is paler than usual and he is barely blinking, if at all. Making sure he is still healthy, I press the back of my hand to his forehead and furrow my brows when it's not too warm. _What happened?_

"Angelina...she's dead."

I find myself a bit disgusted by the fact that I'm content about this information. But, only slightly. If she hadn't died so late in her life, she wouldn't have caused so much turmoil. Still, she's dead. Even if it wasn't by my hands, she's dead. That raises a question of who, though. Who killed Angelina? She was far too young to die of natural causes. Was she murdered, then?

Ciel, still in shock, walks back into the living room and I trail after him. As he sits down on the couch, Alois asks who the caller was. I respond to him and relay him the news. Almost instantly, Alois shoots up and his mood shifts to anger and fury. He curses and shouts a few swear words, obviously not liking the fact that he was not the one to bring her demise. He storms over to the door and leaves as I make my way over to the open spot next to Ciel.

His eyes turn down, signaling the beginnings of tears, but when I try to comfort him, he tells me that I shouldn't tell him he's safe. That I shouldn't tell him that everything's alright. But, that's not what I was going to say. I wanted to tell him that Angelina deserved to die and that he shouldn't be upset in the slightest. Even if she was his aunt, she never loved him as a family member loves. Her entire nature was coldhearted.

Cautiously, I cup Ciel's cheek with my hand and raise my other to stroke his ears. That's when I tell him my thoughts about Angelina. That's also when I...lose control of my actions. The hand that was so gently petting his ear just moments before, is now squeezing the life dry from the appendage. And then I see blood. On my hand. On his fur. _Ciel's blood._

His eyes are so tightly shut that it reminds me of earlier. I really did it this time, didn't I? Rushing into the restroom, I grab a washcloth and allow it to soak up some water from the faucet and practically sprint to Ciel. _He's hyperventilating. _I position myself behind him and cover his eyes with the palm of my hand. _He saw how much I hurt him._

"You need to breathe, Ciel; you're going to faint if you don't breathe," I say as I cross the couch and lie Ciel down. While he steadies his breathing, I take his red hand and wipe it clean with the damp cloth. I lift my hand to clean his injured ears and wince at the sight of the red liquid. It's not much, but it's enough to be noticeable. Why can't I control my damn emotions? When I finish with my task, I place the cloth on a nearby table and allow Ciel some time to regain his senses.

As soon as he does, I remove my hand from his eyes and he slowly lifts his eyelids. When he tries to sit up, I place my hands on his shoulders and force him to lie down. I know that he is still not ready to be in an upright position and I really can't handle anymore of my screw ups. Especially when it concerns Ciel.

"Let go."

"No, Ciel. I don't want you to faint. You need to wait a few minutes." I pause for a few seconds, trying to figure out how to word what I am about to say next as Ciel looks up at me. "I didn't mean to injure you, Ciel. I'm so sorry." _About everything._

"It's alright, Sebastian."

"I hurt you." _Again._

"It's fine."

"I let my anger seep through my fingers and didn't realize I was hurting you. Why didn't you say anything?"

He shifts his gaze and fidgets an almost unnoticeable amount, but I catch it.

"Why w—" My eyes narrow when a thought crosses my mind. I stop my words mid-sentence and ask, "It's because of_ them_, isn't it?"

"I used to tell them to stop, whenever I felt pain. I quickly realized that making any noise didn't stop them at all. So...I stopped...trying."

"Tell me if you ever feel pain, Ciel."

"O-Okay."

Deeming him able to sit up without problems, I raise his upper body and swiftly pull him into a hug. _I love him...so much, and yet, I keep causing all of these problems._

After a little while of enjoying each other's company, Ciel tells me the inevitable. We both stand up and prepare ourselves to search for Alois. Just before I reach for the door handle, however, Alois opens it up and steps inside. _What impeccable timing._

Guilt smashes my heart when I see him staring intently at the newly-acquired injury atop Ciel's ear.

"What the hell happened, Ciel?" That guilt only grows when the blonde boy steps closer to Ciel and barely touches the wound.

"It's nothing, Alois."

"Did Sebastian do this to you?"

"Y-Yes, bu—"

Alois turns to face me and I try my best to not lose my crumbling composure. "You fucking bastard! What the hell did you think you were doing?!" He takes a step closer and I can practically feel the anger radiating from the boy. "_If you lay another damn finger on him, I'll kill you._"

His fist clenches and I know what is to happen next. There are two ways this scenario could pan out. The first: I dodge the punch that is, most likely, directed at my head and stop the fight from continuing. The second: I take the hit.

The pain that shoots through my jaw is almost unbearable, but I endure it, because I need to. I deserved that punch. _I deserve more than that punch after what I've done to Ciel._

As Alois readies himself for another attack, his words register in my mind. '_If you lay another damn finger on him, I'll kill you.'_

No. I can't be without Ciel. _I won't._

Just as his first tries to land another blow, I grip it and pull the blonde closer to me. With a glare in my eyes and a strong hold of his fist, I say the words that I never thought I would need. "_**Don't fucking threaten me.**_"

With a frown and an angered look, Alois leaves. The pain of his knuckles contacting with my flesh isn't light; it's painful. He must have unleashed all of his pent up anger in that attack.

"I'll be right back," I say to Ciel, fully assuming he will follow Alois out the door and try to calm him. My heart flutters when I see him walk through the bathroom door. I place a damp cloth on my jaw and sigh when it relieves a bit of the pain, but not nearly enough.

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, it will heal in a few days."

As Ciel walks further into the bathroom and steps behind me, I stop what I'm doing and smile as he wraps his arms around me. _He's so adorable. _I can feel the twitching of his ears on my back as he presses his head into my shirt. Placing the cloth on the counter, I turn around to face the kitten and pull him closer to me.

"I'm not sure if this day can get any worse," I say with the smallest amount of dry humor.

He smiles against my shirt and I lower my nose onto his soft furry ears, nuzzling into the delightful smell of Ciel.

* * *

"_Sebastian._"

_What is that?_

"Sebastian."

_It's getting louder. It sounds like..._

"Hm," I groan, still half-asleep. My face instinctively contorts when I feel a strange, clothed, poke on my cheek. I turn over on my side and feel my dream slowly start to fade away. It was such a pleasant dream, too.

_Ciel was there~_

When I open my eyes, I blink a few times and see nothing but blackness. Did someone call my name?

"Uhm..." That sounds like Ciel's voice.

"...Ciel?" I ask, not entirely certain of the situation.

"It's me," he says, with a small waver to his tone.

That sentence makes me sit up straight and wonder just what the situation is. Why is he in my room, in the middle of the night? Did something happen? Is he alright?

"Are you okay?" I stretch my arm out and turn the switch on the lamp, allowing light to cover the dark room. I squint at the sudden change and Ciel does as well, along with turning away slightly.

"Yeah."

I sigh a breath of relief when I hear his reassuring words and feel myself tiredly smile at the most adorable scene before me. Ciel is covered in blankets and the tips of his ears are sticking out of the cocoon. "Why are you carrying your bed around?"

A cute blush dusts his cheeks as he pouts and says, "It's cold."

The cogs in my brain slowly turn for a few seconds, before I understand what he just said. "Really?" I'm surprised he hasn't noticed the fact that I'm in my underwear. Perhaps he's just too cold...

When Ciel visibly shivers, my mind wakes up and I use the sheets wrapped around him to cover my mattress. He glares at me and I smile back at him, picking him up in the process. I place him down on the bed and he snuggles into the sheets, like an adorable kitten. Extremely content that I can be so near to Ciel, I hop into the bed once again and situate myself underneath the sheets. My smile widens as he scoots closer to me.

"Better?"

"Mhm."

I take a chance and curl my arms around his waist, hoping for a positive reaction. The moment he starts to purr and snuggles into my neck, I relax and pull him closer. When he places his hands on my chest, I wake up a bit more. _Does he not realize that he's touching my bare chest?_ The soft pads of his fingertips brush across my skin in the slowest of ways and I can't get nearly enough of it. Ciel's dainty hands move to just above the center of my being, to feel my heartbeat, causing it to speed up drastically. I force my mind to wander and eventually fall asleep.

Then the thunder strikes.

A small yelp causes my mind to resurface as I wake up once again. I open my eyes a crack and notice the small, shivering bundle, completely underneath the covers. I lift the sheets and bring them over my head as well, fully intending to stay up with him if he can't sleep through this storm. Tightening my grip on the kitten, I whisper, "It's only thunder, Ciel. It can't hurt you."

He turns his head to look at me and I watch his ears flicker with the slight friction of the covers. "Thank you," he whispers.

I hum in a response and feel my conscious drifting away.

* * *

After our breakfast, the doorbell rings and I know just who it is. I ordered Ciel a present, since I completely missed his birthday. This was supposed to arrive a few days ago, but the weather was creating problems for the delivery company. When I open the door and sign for the package, I hear the small footsteps of Ciel walking over to me. I take the box and place it in the living room, near the couch.

I let Ciel observe the cardboard and head into the kitchen, for a knife. Taking a moment to look around, I remember where I last put the utensil and reach up into one of the highest cupboards. I grab the silver and re-enter the room, where Ciel is curiously sniffing the brown box. _Just like a kitten~_

Making sure to not hurt Ciel, I slice open the box and create an opening. I step a bit back and take a look at my work, before handing the knife over to Ciel. "Could you hold th—" _Wait._ "Nevermind," I finish, realizing my thoughts. The whole reason I hid the knife in the first place, was to keep Ciel from finding it. Just openly handing it to him is the worst idea I have ever had.

After I pull the cleaner, brighter box from within the damp, torn one, I stride over to the blue haired boy and attack him in a hug. I tell him the purpose of this present and allow him to tear apart the wrapping paper. But, not before scratching his ear one last time. Smiling to myself, I watch as he uses his nails to rip the paper to shreds. Perhaps I should purchase a scratching post...

_He did chip the paint off of my front door a while back..._

Ciel's eyes light up when I tell him what the box contains. So he likes it, then._ I'm glad. _Soon after, we place the easel in his room and return back to the waiting box.

"What should we do with this..."

I could throw it away, but that would mean a trip to the trash lot. I could cut it up and use it for something...?

_No..._

The sight of soft blue locks falling over the edge of the cardboard has my full attention. With curious, flickering ears, Ciel leans in and searches the small compartment with his wandering eyes. My cats have always loved the subject of boxes; I wonder if Ciel would like them as well?

I walk over to him and lift him up, enjoying the small smile he gives as I plop him into the small space. His tail swishes as he inspects the box and his nose wrinkles slightly when he sniffs small corners of the cardboard. _This is too adorable to be legal._

Ciel then sticks his head out and my heart melts when his uncovered, cerulean eye shines with enthusiasm. Bending down to lower my visibility, I stare right into his eye and smirk to myself when I know what is about to happen. The light flickering of his blue tail, alerts me that he is ready to strike. I lean back as he jumps for me, reaching out to paw at my face in the process. The box tilts at the sudden weight change and I can't help but laugh at the scene.

I lean back down and watch as Ciel lowers himself, almost instantly. The most brilliant idea floats into my mind and I pick up the discarded bow from earlier. Ciel stands up as I place the red ribbon atop his head and he blushes so cutely when I direct my attention solely to him. He reaches up and touches the material, just now noticing what I have placed upon his head. His blush grows, accompanied by a pout that completes the scene perfectly. Almost like a picture...

Wait.

"Uhm...Ciel?"

"What?"

"Could I...could I take a picture?"

"O-Okay," he mumbles, completely objecting to the idea.

My smile widens at the accepted gesture and I rush as fast as I can, towards my room. As soon as I retrieve my camera, I enter the living room and immediately start snapping photos. After I have taken a few, I decide to take an action shot. I lean down and Ciel does the same, preparing to attack me once again. Just as he does, I take a picture and I can't take my eyes off of it. _This is going on the wall~_

"You don't mind if I frame these, do you?"

Once I place the camera in a locked drawer, I head over to Ciel and start to stroke his ears. He leans into the touch and hums in an approval, which makes me whisper, "So adorable." Using my other hand, I reach up and scratch underneath his chin, causing him to take a hold of the box for support. Kneeling in front of him, I continue to enjoy the moment, only stopping as the box topples to the ground. I lend him my hand and help him out of the box, only to be met with a disappointed expression on his features.

"Do you want to stay in the box, Ciel?"

He immediately smiles as I return the box to its original position and he rushes to jump inside. Curling into a small bundle, he sits down and rests his head on the cardboard. A soft purring echoes within the confines of the box and I notice that he has already fallen asleep. I suppose we can spend some time together when he awakens.

* * *

**A/N:**** Reviews make me smile. :3**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N:**** I'm sorry if I've been a tad snippy in some of my replies to your reviews lately. I've been extremely tired and stressed. T-T Midterms aren't any help at all. And this late chapter... :C GAH. This chapter might not make sense or is rushed, since I wrote it when my brain was very much deprived of sleep. Oh, and I'll try to reply to your p.m.'s soon, guys. c:**

**Warnings:**** Fluff.**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**BooKat:**** Haha, it's alright. ^^ That's so cute, your cat ripped the ribbon. My cat rips my shoelaces. They have holes in them now. :3**

Chapter XV

Time has flown by so quickly, I am barely able to keep track of the days. I think it is February now. I'm not quite sure just how long it has been this way, but it might be mid-February. That's my guess. The weather has calmed down a fair amount and there haven't been many storms lately. I'm thankful for that, since I really don't care much for thunder. I wonder if that will ever change. Not that I re—

_Sniff Sniff_

What is that?

_Sniff Sniff_

It smells so...

_Sniff_

...good.

The delicious smell of food awakens me as I sit up in bed and rub my eyes. With a quick glance around the room, I soon realize that I'm alone in here. Where's Sebastian? Ever since I first spent the night in his room, I have not slept in my own bed. I find Sebastian's mattress to be much more comfortable and the fact that the raven haired male sleeps next to me isn't bad either. Now that I mention it, I haven't been having any nightmares since that night. All the more reason to use Sebastian's room. Not that he minds.

He has also changed the number on the thermostat, since I informed him that his house's temperature was colder than ice. Now, the nights and mornings are warm enough for me to sleep soundly and not freeze. It is still a bit cold, but I suppose that's a reasonable excuse to sleep even closer to Sebastian. I don't think he minds that either.

Opening my eyes a bit more, I shift my line of sight to the window and try to guess the time. It's rather difficult, considering the blinds blocking out most of the sunlight outside. Giving up on that attempt, I turn my head to face the nightstand near my pillow. Glowing numbers on the clock tell me that it is three hours before noon. I close my eyes and lean back against the headboard, trying to will away the after effects of sleep. The soft chirping of small birds outside the window nearly lulls me back to sleep as I feel my head start to tilt sideways.

_Sniff Sniff_

I wonder what Sebastian's cooking. It smells so nice.

_Grumble Grumble_

Maybe I should get out of bed. With a soft sigh, I pry open my eyes and scoot over to the side of the bed nearest the door. The sheets wrinkle with each movement I make as I hang my feet beside the edge of the mattress. I don't move for a while, not fully awake yet, and stretch a few limbs. Pressing the pads of my feet to the floor, I drop one foot in front of the other as I head for the door. Not bothering to change out of my nightclothes, I open the door and walk out into the hallway. Of course, one of Sebastian's cats greets me as I walk through. I think this one's name is Tommy. Or Timmy. I know it's not Berry. Wait...is it?

Either way, it just meowed at me.

Moving past the feline, I make my way over to the source of that intoxicating aroma. I push open the kitchen door and step inside, only to be assaulted by a cloud of scents. One surveying glance around the room and I can see that Sebastian is, indeed, baking something. That was rather obvious, though. From the appearance of the oven and stove, he has been cooking for a while now. Speaking of which, where is he?

"Oh, you're up."

Turning to my side, I see said man, holding a whisk and bowl in both hands. When I attain a closer inspection, I note that flour is covering the expanse of his clothing. Shouldn't he be wearing an apron? I don't think that would work very well, considering the powder is everywhere. Did he drop the bag of flour or something? "What happened?"

"I dropped the flour."

The thought that Sebastian committed an error causes my lips to quirk upwards. _Even Sebastian makes mistakes._ _I thought that was impossible. _Lifting my hand to help dust off some powder, I notice that he has not resumed stirring whatever is in that bowl. I push that fact to the side and continue with my task at hand. With light brushes, I let small puff clouds of flour float into the air from Sebastian's clothing. I frown when not all of it comes off, but my expression changes into shock when he places the kitchen items on the counter and pulls me into a hug.

_I love Sebastian's hugs._ Whenever I feel his arms around me, I can't help but purr and bury myself into him. That's why I'm not surprised at my actions right now. I can_ feel _the flour sticking to my skin now. Maybe if I rub it off on Sebastian's shirt...

"Ciel?"

I don't think nudging his chest with my head is ridding myself of the powder. I actually think I'm acquiring _more _flour. Oh, terrific.

"Ciel."

Well, it's not like I can just back away from Sebastian and go clean myself. His arms are holding me to him and I can't leave. I suppose I _could _leave, if I really wanted to...but why would I want to? I can always take a shower later. My ears brush against the material of Sebastian's shirt and pick up some light flour in the process. My purring fills the silence of the room as I nuzzle into him and inhale his scent. Even with all of this flour, he still maintains his original aroma. _And he's so soft~_

"Kitten~."

I snap my head up and half-heartedly glare at him as he smiles back down at me. "I'm not a kitten."

As if blatantly disregarding my comment, he changes the topic and says, "You have flour all over you."

I look down at my filthy appearance and frown. Did I just soak up all of the powder that was on Sebastian? When I raise my head and take a glance at his clothing, I notice the smudges of white flour, smeared where my face was. His hold on me loosens as I step back and try to contain my blush. I need to take a shower._ Ugh._

* * *

"Why?"

"No questions."

"But we've been driving for such a long time and I still don't know where we're going. Can you at least give me a hint?"

"Hm...no."

I cross my arms over my chest in a frustrated manner and look out the car window. My ears stand up in an annoyed stance as my tail rubs against the back of the chair. After I took a shower and we ate our Sebastian-made breakfast, he told me that we were going somewhere. I don't remember his exact words, but he was so vague that I couldn't for the life of me tell where we were going to go. I still don't know where we're going. Still. And we've been driving for, what seems like, thirty minutes. Actually, it might have been twenty, but I haven't been keeping track.

Sebastian told me that this trip is a surprise and that was all he said. Speaking of said man, ever since this morning, he has been acting...differently. Something's off, but I don't know what. He seems in a lighter mood than usual and hasn't been teasing me as much as he usually does. I have been keeping my eye out for any causes of this behavior, but nothing has caught my attention.

_Think...what could possibly cause Sebastian to act differently today? Maybe it's the weather. The sky has been more clear than previously and the snow is melting away. Could that be it? No, if it were that, he would have been acting like this for a while now. The weather has been looking up since the beginning of February. Maybe it's the fact that Alois is no longer living in Sebastian's home. That probably took a large amount of stress away from his mind. No, if it were that, he would be acting differently. He would probably show small bits of concern for the blonde boy's well being, even if only a bit._

_ Maybe it's his work. He told me that he has been receiving more clients lately and that everything is running smoothly. Sebastian also said that his old friend, Agni, has been helping out with his job. No, if it were that, he would talk about his day more than he usually does. What could have Sebastian seeming so different today?_

"...before."

What? Oh, great. I just missed everything he said. I was so caught up in my own thoughts, I didn't even notice that the main subject of my mind was talking to me. "What?"

He sighs and continues driving and steering the wheel. I assume he knows I wasn't paying attention in the slightest. I don't blame him, though; I wasn't paying attention. In the end, he decides to restate his earlier unheard sentence as he rounds a corner. He sneaks a glance in my direction as I wait for him to speak and says, "As I said, you've been here before."

I furrow my brow with his words and rack my brain to try to remember any recent outings. Not coming up with anything, I press my face to the window and search my surroundings. Speeding cars and passing trees are the only objects I see, which doesn't help at all. I've been here before...? We turn another corner and the scenery remains nearly the same. A few cars change lanes and accelerate, but nothing out of the ordinary. What is Sebastian talking about? Wait.

The car pulls into a parking lot and the engine stops as Sebastian parks the vehicle. As his hands retrieve his jingling keys, he turns to me and offers a warm smile. My mind pieces parts of the puzzle together as he says, "Shall we?"

I send him a confused look, but all he does, is step out of the car and head over to the passenger's side. Before I can reach for the handle, Sebastian pulls the door open and holds his free hand out in front of me. My face heats up at the simple action as I unbuckle my seatbelt and accept the offered hand. His fingers wrap around mine as the little amount of heat from his palm radiates and tingles my skin. Placing my feet on the concrete, I step out of the car and maintain my grip on Sebastian's hand. I mentally smack myself for not being able to recognize the area earlier.

Sebastian and I walk up to the grey building in relative silence as a few crows peck at leftover food scraps on the floor. When I lift my gaze to the sky, I see just how clear it is today. The sun is shining brightly and there are only a small amount of scattered, white clouds amongst the light blue sky. We enter the building and greet the man at the counter. It's a different person than last time, but he sends me the same odd looks as the other. Shrugging it off, I follow Sebastian until we finally reach a bench and slip on our ice skates.

"I'll help you learn, okay?"

I nod my head and tie up the remainder of my shoelaces, preparing myself to stand. Once again, Sebastian holds out his hand for me to take and I gladly take the offer. Lifting off of the bench, we both wobble over to the ice-rink. I tighten my grip on his hand and steady myself by holding the wall with my free hand. Even with stable legs, I feel like I'm going to fall any minute.

"Don't worry, Ciel. I'll catch you if you fall."

Not letting go of my lifelines, I shift my gaze toward Sebastian and blush a light red at the close proximity. "Are you sure?" I look back to the nearly transparent sheet of ice and watch the expert skaters fly across the frozen water. How can they do that so easily?

The moment that the blade of my shoe grazes across the ice, I tense up and hold onto Sebastian's hand with both of mine. Leaving the safety of the wall behind, I attach myself to the raven haired male's arm for dear life and keep my legs in a straight position. If I don't move, I won't fall, right?

"Are you alright?"

With wide eyes, I shift my gaze from my feet to his face and shake my head. He comfortingly smiles and uses his available hand to scratch my ears. The soft tingling sensation causes my nerves to calm down slightly as I lean into his touch. He's just trying...to...make me...un-unaware of...of..._hmm~ that feels so nice~_

I feel the earth moving underneath my shoes as time passes, but the only thing I pay any attention to, is the skillful hand stroking my ears. "Ngh..." My grip on his hand slackens with my relaxed state and I feel my legs starting to drift apart from the slippery ice below. The moment that the warmth of Sebastian's hand leaves my fingers, I open my eyes slightly more, just in time to see his arm wrapping around me. _There's that smell of his again~_

_ Sniff Sniff_

I wonder if it will rub off on me? It hasn't so far, but I can hope, can't I? Still, the smell alone isn't enough to make me happy. I need Sebastian to be near me in order for the full effect to occur. I think I can safely say that the effect he has on me is working at this moment.

The light, relaxing feeling on my ears ceases and I fully open my eyes to find out what happened. When I glance up at Sebastian, I see him standing in the same spot as before. Wait. No. He's in a different spot. _I'm _in a different spot. I take a moment to scan my change in position and see the clusters of people passing me by. I'm not near the wall anymore. I'm in the path of oncoming ice skaters. Why does Sebastian do this to me? Even though I'm more likely to fall now than before, I do feel less nervous.

"It's not so bad, is it, Ciel?"

Not feeling very stable, I reach out and end up with my arms curled around Sebastian's waist. I didn't necessarily mean to hug him, but I needed to regain my balance. It's not like I _meant _to hug him...

Well...

"Try to slide one foot in front of the other."

I shake my head of my thoughts and gain a grip on my senses. It's only ice, there is no danger to this activity. If I fall, nothing too damaging will occur and everything will be alright. But, Sebastian did say that he would catch me if I fell. Was he telling the truth? I don't think he lies, since I have never heard him tell a lie, but he might. With a strong determination, I focus my attention to the task at hand. Releasing my grip on Sebastian, I slide a few unintentional feet backwards on the ice and shoot my arms in front of my body to help with balance. At the same time, my tail flies into the air and weighs me down to help keep stability.

I hear a chuckle from Sebastian's direction and attempt to glare, but quickly realize how ridiculous such a look would appear right now. Deciding to accomplish something today, I shift my right foot ahead of me and carry my left along with it. I frown when I realize how idiotic this is. Even though I'm a few feet away from Sebastian, he doesn't need to move, considering I'm barely inching away from my spot. With the rate I'm moving, there is no way I'd be able to make it across the rink. Ignoring my pessimistic thoughts, I balance myself and stumble over to Sebastian. Not a second later, I lose my footing and feel my legs give way to the force of gravity beneath me. I brace myself for the impact of the cold, hard ice floor, but something's different. The floor is not cold, but warm. It's not hard, but comfortable. It's not a floor.

_Sebastian caught me._

With heat quickly rising to my cheeks and a quickening heartbeat, I look up at Sebastian as he tightens his arms that he has wrapped around me. "Y-You..."

"I will not let you fall."

His ruby eyes are less than a foot away from my lone blue eye as he watches my every move. _He didn't let me fall..._ A smile crosses his lips and he pulls me to his chest one last time, before encouraging me to try again. I nod and he positions me ahead of him. Feeling much more stable, now that Sebastian is stabilizing me, I try to slide my feet. Once my right foot takes a step, Sebastian's does the same. I move my left foot and smile as I see Sebastian's foot follow.

"You're doing wonderfully," he praises with that velvety voice of his.

My ears turn backwards to face the sound of Sebastian and I smile to myself. _Sebastian thinks I'm doing wonderfully~_

The hold he has on me loosens as he takes a step back. What is he doing? "Do you want to try skating by yourself, now?"

Feeling my pride take over, I huff and let my skate glide forward in a rather large step. The other follows suit and I find myself more than a foot away from Sebastian. My smile grows when I realize what I've just done and I attempt to venture another step ahead. I take a few more steps and my tail flickers when something brushes against the fur. My ears rotate to my left as the red eyed male oh-so-easily strides next to me.

Not taking the chance of looking away from my feet, knowing I would fall if I did, I continue on in my mission. My mission to reach the end of the skating rink, that is. Out of the corner of my eye, I see him watching me carefully and never straying more than five feet away from me. My heart flutters when I realize he could be having fun without me, but he chooses to stay by my side. _I feel so safe when I'm with him._

Minutes pass and I find myself tripping over my own feet to reach the handlebar a few inches away. I take hold of the metal and smirk in triumph when I turn around to face Sebastian. He has that smile on his face and I can't look away from his crimson eyes. He ruffles my hair, petting my ears in the process, and reaches into his jacket pocket. Reaching into the material of his jacket, he pulls out a small, red box. A light scent crosses my nose and I lean in, still holding the railing, to figure out the smell. A smile spreads onto my face as I figure out the aroma. _Sweets~_

"Ciel," he starts and I maintain my balance as he continues speaking, "happy Valentine's Day."

My heart skips a beat and the butterflies in my chest begin to flutter with his words. _He's giving me that box with the delicious sweets? _Wait, it's Valentine's Day? How did I even forget that? Well, it's not as if I've celebrated it recently. It's hard for me to remember what it is, but I have a pretty solid idea. My tail slows its movements as I think of a response. Time passes and I control my happiness from bursting through as I take the box from Sebastian's hands. I carefully tuck it away in my pocket, intending on opening the container at a later time. I find myself frowning with a sudden thought. "I didn't get you anything."

Sebastian smiles and shakes his head as he replies, "Don't worry about it. This is a gift to you from me and there is no need for you to give me anything." he pauses for a second and takes a step forward, swiftly pulling me into his arms and smothering me in a hug. His chin rests on my head and I feel the warm breath of his crossing my ears. "You are all I will ever want."

My cheeks burn and the fact that a low rumble starts to form within my chest doesn't help. I'm purring. In public. _Terrific._

Minutes pass and my disruptive noise doesn't leave, so I give up on trying to control it. Deciding that we've had enough of ice for today, we both head over to the carpeted area and retrieve our shoes. As we leave the building, I sigh a breath of relief when silence envelops us. At least my purring has stopped.

The sun is lower in the sky now, but it is still rather light out. Reaching the parking lot, Sebastian unlocks the car and we shuffle inside. The moment we both sit down, he situates himself closer to me and leans into my side of the car. I look up at him with a questioning expression, just as he places his cool hand on my cheek. I instantly melt into the gentle touch and feel the blush rise to my face when he inclines his head and presses his lips to mine.

I don't know what I would do without Sebastian. My life has changed so drastically in the past months, that I sometimes doubt I am the same person. I never used to trust anyone, but Sebastian changed that. I trust him more than I trust myself and I can say that with the utmost confidence.

_ And now I'm purring again._

* * *

Since the drive home is taking longer than usual, I assume we aren't actually headed for home. He never tells me where he's taking me. When I ask him, he doesn't answer. What can I do to force him to give me information? Hm...

"Sebastian?"

"Yes?"

"Could we...play a game?"

"I don't see why not."

I plan the game in my head and watch the trees pass by the car as we continue driving. "I'm going to ask you questions about where we're going and you have to say 'yes' or 'no.' "

He smirks and says, "Alright."

I sit back in the chair and lean my elbow on the door, placing my chin in my hand as I think of a question. "Have I been there before?"

"No."

"Have _you _been there before?"

"Yes."

My stomach growls. "Does it involve food?"

He nods, "Yes."

I sit up straight and put my hands in my lap as I conjure up another question. "Will I like it?"

Sebastian shifts in his seat nervously and says, "I hope so."

We continue playing this game until we reach the restaurant (I guessed it) and eventually step out of the car. Sebastian leads me over to a blonde man with a suit and a name tag that reads, 'Bardroy.' They exchange greetings and I somehow am introduced, resulting in me having to shake the hand of the man in the suit. The two seem comfortable around each other and I feel my hidden jealousy start to rise when Bardroy pats Sebastian's shoulder in a friendly manner.

_He's touching Sebastian._

_ He's getting his scent on Sebastian._

_ On my Sebastian._

With my anger going unnoticed, the raven haired male hands his car keys to 'Bard,' as Sebastian called him, and the blonde walks over to the driver's side. My mood rises a bit when that man leaves, but I still don't like the fact that he touched Sebastian. With narrowed eyes, I follow him into the restaurant. I scan the area and take note of all the muted hues of different colors. The dark red carpet spreads over the entire floor and the tables are all covered with white tablecloths. The entire area looks comfortable and the temperature causes me to relax slightly, since it's not too cold.

We stop walking in front of a podium and a lady with brown eyes greets him. She smiles and blushes as he talks to her. _I don't like her either._

She grabs two menus and leads us to a table in a corner. Sebastian and I sit down as the lady gives us our menus, hesitating a brief moment before handing me one. So she finally noticed me, then. I was beginning to wonder if something was off about her mind if she hadn't noticed anything _strange _about me. Maybe she just couldn't take her eyes off of Sebastian. I frown and search the menu for a suitable meal. _I really don't like that woman._

My eyes scan the small print and I almost gape when I notice the numbers to the side of the words. _Why is everything so expensive? _I don't want to have Sebastian spend this amount of money on me. That's ridiculous. Deciding to choose the least expensive item, I find my choice and set the menu down on the table. The chairs are so soft and cushy. I could fall asleep on these, if I wanted to. Forget sleeping on them, I could _live _on them. I would just need to gather more of these cushions and place them on a stable sur—

"Did you have fun today?"

I chase after my running thoughts and bring them back to the present, just in time to catch what Sebastian asked. "I did," I answer with a smile, "did you?"

"Of course."

A different woman walks up to our table and relays her name. Sebastian offers a kind smile and she stutters as she asks what we'd like to drink. _She thinks she can have Sebastian. She can't. He's mine. I don't like her._

Sebastian states the name of a brand of wine, I think, and I ask for water. The male across from me looks at me with a questioning glance, but I don't know why. He turns his attention to the waitress once more and tells her that I will be having iced tea. _I do like tea..._

She leaves and I breathe a sigh of relief as soon as she does. Why does everyone want Sebastian? They can't have him. If they even so much as try anything, they'll have to deal with my claws and fangs. Nobody touches my Sebastian.

"Ciel, why did you order water?"

I shift my gaze from the silverware to a pair of ruby eyes and say, "Everything is so expensive here. Water seems to be the only thing that isn't."

He sighs. "Money is no object right now. I want you to order what you would like, Ciel. Please?"

_Please..._

"O-Okay."

_He's never said please before._

When the idiotic waitress returns, she places a glass in front of Sebastian and pours a small amount of garnet liquid. She hands me my iced tea and scurries away after taking our meal orders. I watch as Sebastian lifts the clear glass and swirls the red substance for a few seconds, before taking a sip. _Why didn't the waitress fill more of the glass? Now Sebastian doesn't have much to drink. Yet another reason why I don't like that woman._

I have only ever seen wine once, I think, and that was with my parents. My mom and dad were sitting on the couch together, watching television late at night, drinking this...stuff. I was sneaking around to the kitchen, trying to find the cookies my mom made earlier that day. I still don't know what it is.

"What is that?"

"What is what?"

"That."

"This?"

"No, _that,_" I say as I gesture to his wine glass.

"Oh. It's my drink," he says with a smirk, knowing just how vague that was.

I huff and focus my attention on my neglected drink.

About ten minutes later, that same damned waitress returns and spreads our dishes in front of us. Of course, not before placing her hand on Sebastian's shoulder and asking him if he _needs _anything. I nearly jump out of my seat when her filthy talons touch Sebastian. _She's contaminating him with her disgusting scent. _My frustration doesn't leave as she does, but the sight and smell of delicious food serves as a slight distraction. At least she won't be coming back anytime soon. I hope.

About halfway through our meal, I shift my attention to that same glass I was watching before. It still is the same amount of emptiness and it carries such a potent aroma, I can smell it from across the table. Sebastian must see me watching, since he takes a hold of it and brings it near my face. Taking this opportunity, I lean in and sniff the liquid, only to be met by, what seems like, berries. _What is that?_

"Would you like to try it?"

_It smells different than berries._

"Mhm."

He smiles and gestures for me to take the glass. "Only a sip, though. Don't drink too much."

I nod in acknowledgement and raise the glass to my lips, inhaling the sweet smell in the process. After I take a few sips, I set the glass down and notice how much I drank of Sebastian's drink. _They didn't give him much to start with, so now he has barely any left. Oh, that's great._ He retrieves the glass and sets it down on his side of the table, but not before studying the amount of liquid. He frowns and turns his focus to me.

"How much did you drink?"

"A sip."

"Ciel."

"I didn't drink _that _much..."

Sighing, he says that I should continue with my meal and I don't question it. A while later, I take a look around me and notice that everything seems...different. And when did it get so warm in here? Hm...it is warm, isn't it? _It's warm~_

"Let's be going, then."

I try to focus on Sebastian standing up and end up focusing on the candle in the middle of the table. Or is that a candle? That looks like a candle to me.

I feel myself being gently lifted off of the chair and led by the hand to the outside. "Hey," I say, trying to gain the attention I need at the moment.

"Hm?"

"I was going to...to going to use that chair as my home." I smile to myself at my successful speech. I'm so tired, I can't even maintain a decent dialogue with Sebastian. "We have—half...get it...to get—to back up the house."

He opens the door and pulls me close to him as the cold air nips at my skin. "Ciel, are you doing alright?" What does he mean by that? I'm just a bit tired is all. And my body just feels warmer than usual. And my legs don't seem to be wanting to cooperate with me. I'm fine, though.

"I'm tired."

He chuckles lightly and says, "You don't need to speak so loudly, I'm right here."

That's when that barbershop guy comes up to us and hands Sebastian a set of keys. I glare with all I can muster up at the barbed wire as he shares a laugh with the man holding me. Having enough of this lovefest between the two of them, I stand up straighter and look at the bald cap man. He turns his attention to me and smiles, but I glare back at him. _He can't have my Sebastian. Sebastian is _my _Sebastian._

With a tired hiss, I reach out and attempt to claw at the blonde man. My attack is useless, though, since I am pulled back and held close to a very warm, soft, chest.

"Well, I need to go park some cars, so I'll talk to you later, Sebastian. You might want to keep an eye out for this little one, here." He ruffles my hair. _He ruffles my hair._ "Don't let him have more than he can handle, which is much less than where he is now." He offers a small laugh and runs off to park cars.

Sebastian leads me to the car and helps me inside, where I attempt to lock the seatbelt in place. Now...how do I do this? It's not moving. _Why isn't it moving? _Am I doing something wrong? I'm doing everything wrong, aren't I? My movements to buckle my seatbelt grow more frustrated as I can't seem to make this thing work. Sebastian climbs into his side of the car and easily clicks his seatbelt into place. _Tch._

"How did you do that...?"

He reaches over and pulls the material across my chest and I hear a loud 'click.'

"It's a secret."

"How do you—you did know this...secret?"

He pauses for a long while, before saying calmly, "Ciel, could you enunciate your words more when you speak?"

I frown at his accusation. _How dare he think I am mumbling. _"I can't—don't want anyone else to touch...you."

He smiles as we start driving towards home.

"You're so adorable."

"No."

"I love you, Ciel~."


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N:**** Anyone see the Puppy Bowl? So cute~**

**Warnings:**** Fluff and some small bits of pervy Sebastian. **

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Oshian:**** Yush, midterms completely suck the life out of me. T-T Just like a life-sucking vaccum. Mhm. That's what they are.**

**MeganeMusume:**** Ciel's so cute when he's jelly, isn't he? Like a lil' jellyfish. I can't say jellyfish are cute, but they sure are blubby. I don't know where I'm going with this. *3***

**BooKat:**** Ciel can't hold his liquor too much, haha. This chappie is a continuation, so we'll see what happens to him. ^-^**

**Guest (Kuroneko Holmes, I presume):**** I hope this chappie is just as fluffy~ Oh, it's alright. Things happen. :3 I've never been grounded. I think it's because I stay inside all the time and the only electronics I use, is the computer. -3- At least you got your electronics back. ^^ Ah, Algebra. Dat Algebra. Thank you~ my midterms were decent. c: I shall continue to write this story, until the end! Mhm. I shall. *Showers you with many kittens***

_*Continuation of Chapter 15 (Ciel's still a bit tipsy, but not as much.)*_

Chapter XVI (_Not Proofread_; feel free to point out any errors/confusions. ^^)

I wake up to the sound of someone's voice. When did I fall asleep? Is that Sebastian?

"Ciel."

_It sure sounds like him~_

"Are you awake?" He sounds like he's whispering.

"Hm..." I roll over in the carseat and end up resting my head on the door. Sitting here isn't nearly as comfortable as sitting in that chair back at the restaurant. Still, it's easy to drift off to sleep...

"Okay, then."

I hear a small 'click' and a sliding of material, which leads me to believe Sebastian unbuckled his seatbelt. Quickly following that noise, is the pull of a door handle and the opening of a door. A small gust of wind blows past me, before the door closes again. My eyes flicker open slightly when I come to the conclusion that Sebastian is no longer in the car. Blinking a few times, I look around and spot him walking around the front of the car, heading over to my side. Where is he going? A 'thunk' of a noise emits from the outside of the door and it slowly opens, letting all of the cold, night air rush into my face.

"Oh, you're awake now?"  
I rub my eyes for a few seconds, before turning my attention to the man currently holding open my door. The moment my eyesight locates his ruby irises, I can't bring myself to look away. The wind causes small strands of black hair brush against his skin and _I can't stop thinking of how...stunning he looks._

"Would you like any help standing?"

He tears me from my thoughts, only to smile and hold out his hand. I gaze down at it and reach over to take it, but find my arm trapped within the material of the seatbelt. _Damn thing._ Determined to fix the problem, I bring my hands to the buckle and tweak with the button and plastic. Eventually freeing myself, I turn back to Sebastian and spread my arms out, waiting for him to pick me up. I'd rather him carry me than help me stand. _I wonder how heavy I am to him. I know I wouldn't be able to carry myself. Wait, how could I hold myself? Maybe if I had another self to carry the one that's not..._

_What was I saying?  
_With a sigh of feigned frustration, Sebastian leans down and wraps his arms around me, picking me up in the process. Instantly, I curl around him and bury my nose into his neck. _How I love this~_

"You're so...tall, Sebas-Sebastian."

The door closes behind me and he turns around, starting to walk in the opposite direction of the car.

"I hope you don't mind."

I shake my head and tighten my hold on his jacket. "So tall. Hm..." I lose my train of thought for a few seconds, but it eventually comes back to me. "But, I'm short."

Sebastian laughs and shifts me in his arms a little bit, which makes me lean into him more. "Well, personally, I think you're adorable, my little Ciel."

I smile and feel a laugh bubbling within my throat. _I love when he calls me his~_

He stops walking and I open my eyes, to see the front yard of Sebastian's house. So, we're on the porch, then? Upon opening the door, Sebastian carries me inside the warm home and closes the door behind us. When he sits down on a nearby sofa, with me on his lap, I take this opportunity to nuzzle into his warmth. _So warm~_

I place my hand on his chest and feel the rhythmic beating of his heart start to speed. I hate the presence of my heartbeat, but I absolutely _love _his. His chest rises and falls with each breath he takes, causing me to copy his movements, subconsciously. Purring erupts from within me as Sebastian places his gentle hands on my back and traces invisible designs. My tail swishes in approval when he starts to hum a small, short melody into my ear. _I don't know what he's humming, but it sounds lovely. Well, I suppose anything Sebastian hums would sound amazing. But, that's just Sebastian._

Finding a more comfortable position, I turn around, allowing myself to lean back against Sebastian's form. My ears flicker when some of his fringe tickles my fur, but they stop when he leans forward and rests his chin on my head. _I feel so tired. I hope I don't fall asleep again. I don't want to miss a moment of this._ My heart flutters when Sebastian's hand rises and strokes my ear, leaving the other to hold my stomach.

"Mm~."

_I don't think he realizes just how much his touch affects me. I feel like I'm melting right through thin air. Or, maybe he does and he just likes to watch me turn into putty. That's probably it._

A very hot breath of air crosses the surface of my neck, and that's when I realize that Sebastian's head is no longer resting on my hair. I involuntarily shiver when a warm, wet tongue licks my skin. _That felt...odd. Not bad...I don't know. I mean, I wouldn't mind if he did that again..._

The hand on my stomach eventually finds the hem of my shirt and slips underneath to lightly splay out across my chest. Without thinking, I shift into the touch and let out a noise of approval at the action. The pads of his fingertips push me closer to the man behind me, which causes my purring to rise in volume. As I feel the same tongue slide across my neck once again, I lean even more into Sebastian, having decided that I like the feeling. _I wonder what I taste like...?_

The heat from Sebastian's body seeps through my clothing and I feel it warming up my entire being. In an attempt to smother myself with this wonderful sensation, I reach behind me and take a hold of anything I can find. My fingers grasp material and I tighten my hold, trying to...wait. What was I trying to do? I don't really remember. Trying to...trying to...oh. Trying to bring Sebastian as close to me as possible. That was what I was trying to do, right? It probably was.

Ignoring the fact that I lost the original reason for my actions, I grip the fabric tighter as Sebastian's steady breath spreads across my skin. I feel his soft lips brushing against my bare neck as I drown out the sound of my purring and hone in on the soft air being inhaled and exhaled by Sebastian. _I'm feeling so sleepy._

In a matter of seconds, Sebastian retracts from me and stands up abruptly, setting me on the couch in the process. He looks at me for a quick moment with an expression filled with conflicting emotions, before saying, "I—uhm, I'll...I'll be right back."

Then, he disappears into the kitchen. What was that all about? Sebastian never stutters. He never looks flustered, either. Frowning, I cross my arms and lean against the couch. I sigh when I come to the conclusion that this couch pales in comparison to Sebastian. It's too cold and uncomfortable. And cold. Well, besides the remaining heat that he left behind. And what is that noise? My ears swivel around to face the source of the quiet sound. It sounds like a clicking...and clicking...and clicking...

When I look above me, I see the ceiling fan rotating and the small chain below it hitting a piece of the fan. Oh. No wonder it's so windy in here. I wonder where Sebastian went? Hm..._Sebastian~ Sebastian always makes everything better. I wond—_

Speaking of which, here he is. Just having walked through the kitchen door, Sebastian waltzes into the room and places a cup of something steaming in front of me. What is that? It smells like...

_Chocolate._

"Sorry, I...was a bit thirsty." His voice sounds different than it usually does. Almost as if he's trying to cover up something...or something. But, that doesn't make sense. Sebastian doesn't lie. There's no need for him to ever cover up anything. It must be my tired mind playing tricks on me. Maybe it's my imagination. I'm so tired. I think my eyes are closing, but I can't be too sure. Blinking once, I swallow my sleepiness and shift my attention to the chocolate drink in front of me.

Reaching over to grab the cup, I wrap my fingers around the beverage and bring it to my face. Oh, it smells so delicious. Not as delicious as Sebastian's scent, though. Nothing is as delightful. The aroma of the chocolate drink is slightly different than ones I've smelled before, but it's still lovely. Just as I'm about to take a large gulp of the sweet-smelling liquid, a hand grips my wrist.

"Ciel, you might want to wait for it to cool before drinking it."

_Tch. Cool...I don't need it to cool. _"But, th—it's warm...now." Focusing my attention on Sebastian, I keep the drink in between my hands and wait for a response.

"Have you ever had hot chocolate before?"

Hot chocolate...

Where have I heard that before?

_"Would you like some hot chocolate, Ciel?" A woman with deep, blue eyes and light, blonde hair..._

_"Yes, please." Who is that...?_

_"Alright, honey, could you sta..." She's leaving the room._

_No, don't go. You can't...don't leave me. I don't like being alone wi—_

"Ciel?"

"W-What?"

"Are you okay? You were unresponsive just now." Sebastian looks over to me with worry in his eyes, but I return the look with a half-hearted smile.

"You're so delicious."

_Wait._ Did I just say that? _Maybe I should get to bed, seeing as I can barely think straight. I mixed up my thoughts of hot chocolate and Sebastian. Maybe he didn't notice._ My hopes fly out the window when he laughs and takes a hold of the hot chocolate in my palms and sets it on the table. With both of his gentle hands on my cheeks, he turns my face to look directly at him. _When did he move so close to me? It's not as if I'm complaining, though..._

"I am?"

_Well, now that I think about it..._

"Mhm."

Without any more seconds passing, he closes the short distance between us and I meet him as he presses his lips to mine.

_...he is pretty delicious._

After a few short seconds, he pulls away and I deeply blush when he smiles at me. Now that I think about it...have I been blushing this whole time? My face feels so hot. It might be the room temperature, though. Or I could just have a flushed face because of Sebastian's close contact with me. I'm starting to believe the latter explanation, more and more. _And more._

Unable to control my intake of breath, I loudly yawn, directly in Sebastian's face. When I try to cover my mouth with my hand, I misjudge the trajectory and end up nudging the raven haired male's nose. His nose feels weird. Do all noses feel this way? Not removing my hand, I poke and prod at the obstruction in the path of my yawn-stifling.

"Your nose...it's so st-strange."

His face shifts as he laughs and I lower my hand, letting it fall onto his shoulder. _His shoulder..._

"I think we should get you to bed, Ciel. You seem a bit..._tired,_" he says with that wonderfully velvety voice of his. Even in my drowsy state, I can still detect the smirk in his words. Why is he smirking? Wait, where did his shoulder go? Oh, he's standing now.

"Carry me," I order with my arms outstretched and eyes closed, fully expecting him to lift me from the couch. Almost instantly, I am being picked up and carted throughout the house. _I love when he carries me~_

With my arms curled around his neck and head resting on his chest, I smile contentedly and listen to the soft sounds of footsteps on carpet. _Thump...thump...thump._ All too soon, the calming steps cease and the light breeze in my hair halts as Sebastian stops walking. Inhaling one last breath of his aroma, I feel myself being lowered out of his arms and onto a cushy mattress. Without a second thought, I turn around and grip the sheets to my face and smell the delightful scent that is, Sebastian. _His bed~_

I use both of my hands to grab the pillow nearest me and bury my face into it, absolutely loving the soft fabric on my skin. It's not as soft as Sebastian, though. _I didn't have a chance to try that chocolate drink. Maybe tomorrow. That sounds nice. _


	17. Chapter 17

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

Chapter XVII

"I have less clients today, so I don't have to stay too long. I should be able to finish up no later than two this afternoon."

I smile at the news and nod my head. When the doorbell rings, I look over to the source of the obnoxious sound and feel my smile deflate slightly. Every time Sebastian leaves for work, Aleister comes over to babysit me. _Tch. _As if I need babysitting. I don't need a sitter. Telling that to Sebastian solves nothing, since he insists that it's for my safety...but still; _Aleister?_

As I trudge over to where Sebastian stands near the door, he pulls on the doorknob and allows the morning sunshine to blind my eyes. Maybe that's just Aleister's white clothing. I'm not quite sure.

"Ah, Sebastian~! It's been far too long, my dear friend!" The blonde shines an overly-dramatic smile and smothers the raven haired male in a hug.

Every day he does this.

Every day I hate him a little bit more.

"Please, come in," Sebastian offers with a friendly smile and steps aside to allow the sitter inside.

"Oh, yes yes."

In an attempt to avoid the inevitable, I stand behind Sebastian and shield myself from the view of the Aleister. I'm not hiding, though. I don't hide. But, when I am spotted by the blonde man, I can't help but shrink back a bit more.

"Where..." he trails off and his lavender eyes search the expanse of the room, before settling on me. "Oh there you are~! I was beginning to wonder where my little robin has gone."

Every day.

"Aleister. His name is Ciel and _he is not yours_."

The tone in Sebastian's voice has me look up at the back of his head and I have to suppress a blush when I understand just what he said. He doesn't need to be jealous, though, since I wouldn't leave him. I don't think I could if I tried...

After a few minutes of the blonde man's antics, Sebastian lifts his wrist and checks his watch. I frown when I figure out what he's doing. He has to leave now. I wish he didn't. Turning around and bypassing Aleister's words, he leans down to be eye level with me and dons a reassuring smile.

"I'll be back soon, alright Ciel?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

My heart flutters and I don't realize I'm smiling until I respond. "I love you too." I can't tear my sight away from the ruby red eyes of his. Especially when they start to seem closer than usual. Completely ignoring the third person in the room, I wrap my arms around Sebastian and pull him as close to me as I can. As he does the same, I feel warmth spread throughout my body. The moment we kiss, I lose track of the crimson eyes and my eyes close of their own will.

We break away all too soon and my heart slows down when he stands upright.

_I hate when he leaves._

* * *

The ringing of a phone brings my attention away from the my painting. I place the brush down and walk over to my bedroom door, preparing to open it, when the sound stops. My fingers lightly touch the surface of the doorknob, ready to grasp the metal, but never do. The fact that footsteps are heard trotting over to my room, can only mean one thing. Aleister picked up the phone.

"Little robin~! You have a phone call!"

At this, I do grip the handle and open the door, showing a very happy dramatic man.

"Here you are." He hands me the phone.

Taking it from his gloved hands, I raise it to my ear while simultaneously closing the door. I don't hear many sounds from the other end of the call. "Hello?"

_"Hi, Ciel!"_

I smile as I sit down on my mattress and lean against the headboard. "How are you, Alois?"

_"No you don't, I was going to ask you that."_

"I'm alright. Seb..." I stop talking before I say anything that would further embarrass myself.

_"Oh...Sebastian isn't there, is he?"_

My smile fades and I turn my gaze to the blue carpet. "No." I can hear small shuffling sounds on the other side of the line, before Alois responds.

_ "I'm coming over."_

"You don—"

_"Ciel. I'm coming over. Are...you alone?"_

"No, there's a sitter—"

_"Good. I'll be there soon. Don't go anywhere, okay?"_

"Al—"

I don't have a chance to say anything more, since the phone disconnects. I set the phone down on the nearest surface and make a mental note to return it to the receiver later. I suppose Alois is visiting, then. I haven't seen him in a while. How long has it been, now? The last I saw him, was when he left. It's January now. Hm. I'm not sure. It's been a long while; I wonder how he's doing?

A knock on my door wakes me from my sleep and I sit upright. I fell asleep? My ears twitch as another knock follows the first.  
"Ciel?"

Rubbing my eyes, I steady myself and lift off of the bed. I head for the door and open it, smiling tiredly as I do.

"Ciel." He looks just as I remember him. His blonde hair is slightly longer and he smells different, but those are the only differences I can spot. Stepping aside, I let Alois enter the room and follow. When he trots over to the mattress and sits down, I take a seat right next to him. Without much of a warning, he turns to me and leans in for a hug. Not having _too _many objections, I return the friendly gesture. "I've missed you so much, Ciel."

He sounds different. Maybe that's just me, though. I haven't seen him in over a month. A few seconds pass and we place some distance between us. As his light blue eyes take in my appearance, he smiles and says, "You look happy."

My thoughts stop working for a second as he says this. What does he mean? I look happy? I never noticed. I suppose I am...happy. I'm happy. When did that happen? Was it when I found Sebastian? _Well, he found me..._

"I'm glad," he finishes as he leans back and lies down on the soft sheets.

"Hey, Alois?"

"Hm?"

"How are you?"

He brushes some of his blonde hair out of his eyes and rolls around on the mattress before answering. "Great."

"Really?"

"Mhm. When's Sebastian coming back?"

I feel a blush creeping up to my cheeks with the mention of Sebastian, but hide it with my hair and turn my head the other direction. "He said he'd be back before two." Feeling a strange tension in the air, I fully face Alois and notice the conflicting expression on his features. "What's wrong?"

He sits up and looks at the nearest wall as he furrows his brow. "Nothing."

Taking note of the obvious discomfort in the situation, I drop the topic and try to change the subject. "How is your job going?" In the past, has called me on the phone and talked to me about his living situation, so I know where he is and what he's doing now. I can't say I'm very accepting of everything, but if he's okay with it, then it's fine.

We talk for a while and I find myself drifting off into sleep. I mumble something about being tired and crawl over to my pillow. Alois says something and I plop my head onto the plush feeling of a pillow. Giving a sigh of sleepiness, I take a hold of the other pillow and wrap myself around it. My tail eventually stops swishing as I lose my sense of consciousness.

"...iel."

There's a warm feeling on my head, like someone's hand. And that voice sounds like Alois.

"...ing." What is he saying? "...bye." He's leaving, then? Just as I come to realize my thoughts, the fingers running through my hair are gone and I barely feel the movement of the mattress. The faint sound of the front door closing lulls me back to sleep and I snuggle further into the pillow in my arms.

* * *

_Click_

The sudden noise has me bolt upright and my ears focus on the sound coming from outside my room. _My door isn't closed? _I blink a few times and a chill runs through my body.

It's dark.

That...that can't be right. I couldn't have been asleep for that long. But, when I turn my head to view the clock on my bedside table, the time clearly says, 10:05. My grip on the pillow tightens and I snap my head over to my door when I hear a small noise coming from the living room.

No lights are on.

_Snap_

There's that sound again. It sounds different this time. I shiver involuntarily, but not from the cold. It's not cold. _Where is Sebastian?_

My blood runs cold when I hear nothing but silence. Deafening silence. I hold my breath and feel my entire body quivering when I hear nothing. Nothing. No ticking clocks. No chirping crickets. No falling rain. No whistling wind. No shaky breaths. Nothing.

_ Click_

My chest rises and falls with extremely shallow breaths as I start to feel faint from holding my breath for so long. My eyes drift to the glowing clock once more, to be sure I'm not dreaming. If the time has not changed, I am asleep.

10:06

_ I'm not dreaming._

I can't move. I can't feel anything. My eyes won't leave their spot on the clock. _Don't change. Don't change. Don't..._

10:07

_Clack_

Something is in the house.

_Click_

And it's heading for my room.

_Clack_

_**Click**_

The last sound grips my senses with such intensity, I have no choice, but to listen. I reach for the phone on my nightstand with utmost caution. Carrying the phone, I softly drop down to the ground and freeze for a fraction of a second. My ears strain to listen to any sounds as I refrain from moving an inch. My fears push me to find an escape, which is near impossible. If I so much as move one foot, the floor underneath my feet will _**creak**__._ The window is locked. If I unlock it, it will _**click**_. The door is open. If I close it, it will _**click **_and the floor underneath me will _**creak**_. The closet is closed. If I open it, it will _**squeak**__._

_The bed._ Without thinking about anything other than safety, I shift myself onto the ground and crawl under the mattress. The carpet scratches my skin and my ears rub against the metal of the bed's underside. Once I am far enough away from the edge, I bring the phone into my line of sight and dial the first number that comes to mind. Careful not to make a noise, I position myself to face the door and make sure my tail is hidden. Each number I press causes a loud sound to blare from the phone's speaker and I try to muffle it with my free hand.

Once the entire phone number is dialed, my nervousness rises exponentially. _What if he doesn't pick up? What if he isn't even there? It's past ten at night, he said he would be back before two. Did something happen to him? _The severity of the situation hits me harder than a ton of bricks and I feel my world crumbling around me. Something happened to Sebastian. Something is in the house. Aleister is not.

_Ring..._

The thing is a person.

_Ring..._

I can hear him clearly now. The steps are slow and steady.

_Ring..._

He is right outside my open door.

_Pick up the fucking phone—_

_ "Hello?"_

My heart both sinks and rises at the sound of Sebastian on the other side of the line. The footsteps have slowed.

Trying to be as silent as possible, I whisper into the phone. "_S-Some...one's i-in the h-h-house._"

_ "Ciel? I can barely hear you."_

"_H-He's c-c-coming cl-closer._"

_ "Ciel...Ciel listen to me. Listen to me."_

Shoes.

_"End this call and dial the police. Do you understand? Call the police. Immediately."_

Black shoes.

_"Where are you?"_

"_H-H-He's h-here._"

Ice runs through my veins. Pure ice. My ears drown out the sound from within the phone as I stare at the pitch black shoes stalking their way over to my bed. Everything is lost from my sight, save for the twin midnight shoes five feet away. Three feet. _Two feet._

They stop.

My hands violently shake as I hold the phone to my ear and contain my breath. Minutes. Hours. _Days _pass and those deathly black shoes don't move. Then they do. They slowly turn and take a step away from the bed. Away from me. They take another step. And another. Freezing air touches the palms of my hands as I feel the sweat coating my skin. My hands unintentionally weaken their grip.

The phone falls.

_The phone falls._

The shoes pause for the second time.

My hands don't move, not from their previous positions of being suspended in midair. No, if I move, I'll make more sound than I have. That won't make a difference. All the sounds in the world don't compare to the deafening _thump _of the phone on the carpet. That noise echoes throughout the room and won't leave. No, it _won't leave_. My heartbeat stops and my eyes won't close. All that I can hear, are the booming steps of black shoes as they turn around and face my direction.

Water starts to gather within my eyes at the sickening realization that the shoes are returning to where I am hiding. And they are faster than before. Much faster. This time they stop one foot away. _One foot. _Hot tears trail down my cheeks as I see the dark, black pants above the midnight, black shoes start to crinkle and the man leans down.

That's when I smell it.

_That smell...that smell._

"Found you."


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N:**** I really appreciate your favorites, follows, and especially reviews. I love hearing what you think of the story. c: Sorry about the delayed chapter. T-T I hope this lengthy one will make up for it. If not...I'll bake you a cake. In my mind. On a side note, I won't be putting warnings in the next few chapters. There are too many to write. So...warning.**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**BooKat:**** My thoughts exactly. ^^ And thank you~**

Chapter XVIII (Only read once: Not proofread)

The moment I open my eyes, I can't help but smile at the sight before me. That's when I remember the date. Valentine's Day. I hope Ciel will enjoy what I have planned for him today.

Ciel's deeply sleeping figure, curled up in my arms, is the most heartwarming scene I've seen in a long while. His soft, dark blue hair is ruffled in such a way that it's endearing. The subtle rise and fall of his shoulders as he takes a breath has me smiling even more. Not to mention the two furry ears perched atop his head. Slowly releasing his body from my grip, I manage to step out of the bed and replace the covers. His ears turn to face me with each little sound I create, but he doesn't seem to be showing any signs of waking.

I don't want Ciel to be pulled from slumber so early, considering his love for sleeping-in. Well, sleeping in general, I suppose. He does enjoy sleeping. _Like a kitten~_

Quietly stepping across the floor, I reach the door and exit the room before he notices. The door closes softly and I turn around to head down the hallway. Timmy stands before me, just looking up at me with a silent question.

"Timmy," I whisper, "what are you doing out of your room? Where are the others?"

He purrs and walks over to rub against my leg. His back arches as his tail flickers from side to side, in an attempt to act cute. I know what he's doing. The little delinquent either wants something or has done something to upset me. Considering he's already outside his room, I am going to assume the latter. I sigh and waltz over to where the others should be, knowing they will be waking up soon and will be craving some breakfast.

As I reach the room, I sigh once more at the sight of an open door. I need to buy a lock or blockade the room, if I want to keep Timber inside. It escapes me how that little devil can be so cunning and break out of the only room in which he is meant to stay. I step inside and take in the sight of Berry and Tommy, cleaning the sleep sand out of their eyes. They daintily lick their paws, before scrubbing their faces with their little hands, and I find myself delaying the task I came in to do. Timmy eventually finds his way back into the room and plops himself down next to the food bowl, looking expectantly up at me.

"I'm going, I'm going," I say as I pick up a bag of kibbles and open up the container. The smell of processed minerals hits my nose as I pour the contents into the bowl and I smile to myself as the trio swarms around the food. Once I finish filling their respective bowls, I stand upright and watch as they crunch and nibble the foul smelling breakfast.

I steal a last glance at Berry, before leaving the room and leaving the door open. He has gained a bit of weight, hasn't he? He's always lounging around the house, so I can't say I'm too surprised. Though, that's what Tommy and Timmy do all day. Maybe Berry's simply fluffier than the others. I'm not quite sure.

* * *

_Oh my._

When I pulled Ciel into a hug, I didn't realize what I was doing. As he purrs into my chest and rubs his cheek against my shirt, I try to snap him out of his trance. Saying his name does nothing, apparently, as he continues to purr and nuzzle into my clothing. The warmth of his affection fills my heart and I can't find it in myself to release my hold on him. So I don't.

The more he pushes against my chest, the more flour attaches itself to him. I try to gain his attention once more, but he doesn't respond. The lovely heat that Ciel is unintentionally causing to spread through my body has me taking drastic measures. _He has no idea what he does to me._

"Kitten~."

Almost immediately, he stops his motions and lifts his head to half-heartedly glare at me. He makes a comment about not being a kitten and I find the action absolutely adorable. The fact that his ears twitch in annoyance and his tail flickers behind him at the same time as his reply only strengthens my opinion.

"You have flour all over you," I say, trying to cool down the overwhelming heat in my system. He looks down at himself and blushes a light pink at the sight of white powder smeared on his clothing. It seems he will need to take one of his dreaded baths.

After he leaves the room and trudges off to the restroom. I feel worry start to creep up on me, knowing that he will be alone in there. Every time he goes into a room by himself, I can't help but feel slightly nervous. I've tried to put Ciel's self-harming in the past, since he seems mentally healthy, but I can't shake the thoughts. He hasn't said many words about the subject, but I can see it in his eyes that he relives the memories when he's alone. He spaces out at times during the day and his demeanor takes on a sorrowful disposition.

The thought of Ciel even _wanting _to end it causes my heart to clench. I know I need to talk to him about it, but whenever I bring up anything remotely painful from his past, he shuts down. He hasn't told anyone about his time with his previous guardians or his time with Angelina. Ciel has kept his thoughts bottled up inside his own mind for so long and it's not at all healthy. They're going to escape one day and I can only hope that I will be there when they do.

The distant sound of running water breaks me from my thoughts and I leave the kitchen, to head over to the bathroom. I reach the door and have a memory of my previous actions, when I assumed the worst. Standing in front of the wall, next to the door, I hold my breath and close my eyes, trying to listen for any sounds. A heavy sigh of relief washes over me as I hear Ciel's grumbles and curses directed at the water. The guilt I would bear if Ciel died in my hands would haunt me for eternity.

_I can't let that happen._

It is for that reason that I don't leave my spot outside the restroom, until I hear Ciel drain the bath.

* * *

I love spending time with Ciel.

Especially if that means I am able to be close to him in the process. Literally. He seemed to enjoy ice-skating earlier, considering he was purring half the time. And that blush dusting his cheeks only confirmed my theory. I don't think I am physically capable of letting Ciel stray more than a few feet away from me, before I start to miss him. How I managed to live my life before he came into my life is a complete mystery to me. Nothing would be the same now, if he were to suddenly disappear.

Shifting my thoughts back to the present time, I park the car and both Ciel and I step onto the pavement. I greet my friend and introduce Ciel, not wanting to exclude him from our conversation. I've known Bard for most of my life and we both know each other pretty well. I notice a very jealous aura emanating from Ciel as Bard pats my shoulder. I almost wrap my arms around my kitten to let him know that I'm his, but decide to take another path and just end the conversation.

We enter the restaurant and eventually find our table. After a small while, Ciel tells me he doesn't want to spend my money, but that's ridiculous. I would spend every penny I own, if it would make him happy. He shouldn't worry about me, when this night is dedicated to making him happy. After many curious looks toward my glass of wine, I offer a sip to Ciel. He takes the offer and I set the glass down when he's done. What I notice, however, is the fact that much less liquid is in the container than before. Just how much did he drink?

Near the end of our meal, Ciel starts to act a bit differently. His cheeks are pink and he sways the slightest amount with each movement he makes. He speaks in a louder volume and smiles at nearly everything. When we stand up to leave and I help him out of the restaurant, he slurs his wishes of making a house out of the chair cushions. If it weren't for the fact that it is rather cold outside, I would have helped him fulfill that wish. Maybe.

Bard comes over to us and I take the keys from his open hand. We talk for a little while, before I notice a frustrated glare being directed at Bard. From Ciel. The most adorable scene plays out before me as Ciel's uncoordinated attack towards Bard turns into a failed attempt in my arms.

We return home and I carry an intoxicated Ciel back into our home. I close the door behind us and sit down on the sofa. I hope he doesn't mind that he's in my lap right now. I quickly discover that he doesn't mind in the slightest when he presses against me and rests his hand on my heart. The simple gesture has my heartbeat quicken and Ciel's purrs have me smiling against his velvety hair. I tighten my hold on him and vaguely wonder if he would be so cuddly if he were sober.

After a short while, he swivels around and leans his back against my chest. Letting a hand rest on his stomach, I inhale the scent of Ciel and smile to myself when he hums a sound of approval. Every movement Ciel makes causes my blood to pump faster through my veins and I find myself craving more. The moment I feel his soft skin under my fingers, my mind starts to yell at me. Ignoring my thoughts, I lower my head and smell the tempting aroma of Ciel. My mind's shouts are louder now, but I bypass them. Ciel's purring doesn't stop, even as I steal a taste of his addicting flavor.

I feel Ciel reach behind himself and take a hold of my sleeve. His hands weakly pull my arm closer to him and it's then, that I listen to my screaming thoughts. The moment that the heat within my body becomes too much to bear, is when I come to my senses. The suddenness of it all has me standing up and Ciel sitting on the couch, by himself. Coming up with the most flawed excuse, I exit the room and enter the kitchen. As soon as I step past the door, I shut it closed behind me and slide down to the floor.

With my head in my hands, I try to take deep breaths and calm down. _The things Ciel does to me._ I need to learn to listen to my thoughts more often. I didn't realize...what was happening, I was so caught up in the moment. That's not true; I knew what was happening. I just couldn't help myself. Ciel is just so tempting...

I shake my head to rid myself of any unwanted thoughts. Well, they aren't necessarily _unwanted_...

"No," I tell myself absently as I continue to shake my head. I try to think of something to take my mind off of the intoxicating taste of Ciel and his unintentional affection, when I spot the cupboard. I rush to my feet and try to think about nothing, other than the hot chocolate.

Which cup should I use? Some are not very tolerant to heat, but they have more size. These two are a light green, whereas this one is a dark blue. The blue seems to be a better choice. Blue. What would Ciel want? _Ciel..._

"_No_." I forcefully drag my thoughts to the task at hand and eventually finish heating and stirring the contents of the cup. Nodding to myself, I exit the kitchen and make my way over to Ciel. I smile at the sight of his furry ears and swishing tail, and place the hot chocolate in front of him. The excuse I give him this time is worse than the last. I say, "I'm thirsty." I didn't even make a cup for myself. I really hope he doesn't take note of my behavior.

* * *

I hate saying goodbye to Ciel.

At least I will be able to return home earlier than usual. After leaving Ciel at home with Aleister, I head over to my car and step inside. No matter how hard I try, I can never fully push thoughts of Ciel from my mind. He's everywhere I go, even if he isn't physically there. And every time he isn't near me physically, I miss him. Chuckling at my own thoughts, I start the car and drive to work.

The moment I park my car and step onto the pavement, I enter the building and unexpectedly yawn. After ascending in the elevator, I am finally able to reach my office. I greet Hannah, as always, and she greets me in return, as always. With a sigh, I open the other door and close it behind me, ready to face the day.

* * *

"And these thoughts are an everyday occurrence?"

The male on the couch nods and turns to look at me for a second, before gazing back up at the ceiling. "All the time. I don't know—it's like..." he pauses and tries to collect his thoughts while running a hand through his light red, nearly orange hair. "It's like, every conversation I have, everyone is lying to me." His eyebrows furrow in frustration. "But, that's not right. Nobody's lying to me. Only certain people." He looks over to me once again.

I give him a small reassuring smile and he narrows his eyes slightly. I take a quick glance at the clock on the wall and notice that the hour is up. "Since this is only your first session discussing this topic, I can't say for certain what the cause of this is. For now, I think you should consider who it is that you think is lying to you. Think of which people from your life have truly lied to you and you have never forgotten." I stand up and he does the same, just after he checks the time. "Same time next week, then?"

"Yeah," he replies with a slightly raised mood than when he walked in here.

"And if you don't mind my asking, how is your family?"

He manages a small, genuine smile and I can tell he is glad to not be discussing his problems any further. "They're all doing fantastic, actually. Doll's feeling so much better and Peter just got his cast off."

"Oh, that's great," I say with genuine relief and offer a friendly smile as I lead him out to Hannah's desk to make the next appointment. "Your family has my best wishes."

"Thanks, Sebastian."

Once back inside the privacy of my office, I take a peek at the schedule and sigh in relief when I see I have no more patients today. Looking at the clock, I see that it's around one in the afternoon. Tomorrow will be a busy day, but right now, I just need to enjoy the fact that my day is free to be able to see Ciel.

"Bassy~!"

I feel a headache starting to form.

No. Not today.

My door opens and I rub my temples when I see that it is, in fact, Grell. I thought he stopped taking therapy since that day I met William. Grell seemed quite embarrassed during the whole ordeal. Perhaps some disaster happened between the two and now the redhead needs to vent to someone. That seems like something he would do, considering he vented to me when he had no problems at all. Well...perhaps 'problems' isn't the correct word to use.

"There you are. Why weren't you waiting to greet me at the door~?"

"Why are you here?"

"Ah, so rude. Really, now." He smiles his dramatic smile and saunters his way over to my desk. "Care to spare some time for a ravishing rose, such as myself~?" I know he's not going to leave, unless he receives a session. This is going to be painful.

An hour—an _hour—_of listening to Grell's lovelife with William later, and I am nearly banging my head against the desk. By the time two o' clock rolls around, I feel my sanity drifting away from me. I stand up and Grell, reluctantly, does the same. He makes a comment about how I'm 'not as great of a listener as Will.' As I trudge over to the door, Grell steps over to stand beside me and, without my consent, leans in fairly close to my personal space.

"Gr—"

"_Sebastian._"

I force myself to blink and nearly have to check my mind twice, to make sure I just heard that correctly. Grell just called me by my name. Not only that, but it was void of his usual dramatic tone. I've never heard him say anything with that voice. It sounds like the vocal chords of a personality that is never shown. He places his hand on my shirt and I frown at the strangeness to the whole situation.

"Red is such a _beautiful _color on you."

I take a quick glance down and notice that my shirt is a dark red hue. _Why is he saying this?_ With narrowed eyes, I turn my attention back to Grell and see bright green eyes watching me, accompanied by a large grin. The sight causes a feeling of nervousness to form within my stomach and I take a step back, not wanting to be near this man for too long. Something isn't right.

"You know," he starts talking and his eyes search around the room, as if looking for something. The way he is never more than two steps away from me has me put up my guard. The feral grin plastered on his face doesn't leave and if anything, it widens. His red boot steps forward as he continues, "The only thing I love more than a man in red," his hand disappears behind his back. "Is a man _drenched _in red_._"

I try to understand what he just meant, but that millisecond of a pause is what causes me to overlook a few important things.

First: both of Grell's hands are visible now.

_Second: one of them is holding a blunt object._

_**Third: my head is directly in the path of the swinging object.**_

* * *

The thud of a body falling to the floor is the only sound in the office. The ticking of the analog clock being the one exception. Sebastian's head is the last to touch the ground, along with his few drops of crimson blood. They slowly trail down his skin and trace strands of black hair, sticking together on their way to the carpet.

Grell sighs in feigned disappointment and kneels down before the unconscious body of Sebastian. Not wanting to ruin the sight before him, he watches the lack of movement with sick enjoyment and hums in approval. The redhead stands and places his hands on his hips, before turning to glance at the clock on the wall. Narrowing his eyes slightly, he faces the body on the floor and leans down just enough to place two fingers on Sebastian's neck. He waits a few seconds, before straightening back up and fixing his clothing.

With a flick of his hair, Grell exits the room and closes the door behind him. He steps in front of the secretary and rests his elbow on the desk, as if to start a conversation. He doesn't say anything, but he watches Hannah as she silently works on her computer. No more than a minute passes, before he groans in annoyance and prepares to exit the room. A black glove grips the door handle as he turns his head to face Hannah. "Say hello to Claude for me~."

He leaves.

A few more letters are typed into the computer, before Hannah raises her lavender eyes to glance at the door. She reaches into her pocket and retrieves a cell phone. As the secretary dials a number she knows all too well, she minimizes the windows on the computer. The phone rings twice, before a man answers.

* * *

I feel myself start to drift back into awareness as I begin to notice a throbbing pain, coming from the side of my head. Slowly blinking, I open my eyes and realize that I'm on the floor. In my office. Surrounded by a slight smell of blood. Taking a chance, I lift my upper half, on weak hands, and prop myself up against the nearest wall. I take a deep breath as I try to calm myself down. What happened? Grell knocked me out and I don't know what he did after I fell unconscious.

I lift a hand to hold my head and wince as I feel pain shoot throughout my system. Everything feels hazy and unfocused. Groaning, I use my strength to stand up and make my way over to my desk. As I sit down in my chair, I lean my head back and take in a couple deep breaths. I don't have the strength to question what happened, so I save the thought for later and try to will away the ache in my head. I do remember that Grell _will _regret this.

When I open my eyes, I see just how dark it is. The room lights are on, but outside the building, it is obviously nighttime. The room is still a bit blurry, but things are starting to look more clear than before. After I rest for a few moments, I take another look around the room and clearly see everything in it. That's a good sign. Finding strength in my limbs, I manage to stand and head over to the door.

As I exit my office and see Hannah, behind the computer, I narrow my eyes and stand in front of her. The throbbing in my head has subsided quite a bit and I have a question that I need answered. "You let Grell in here. Why?"

She blinks and turns her head to look at me. Offering a small smile, she glances at me a moment, before turning her attention to something behind me. She nods in the general direction and I turn around. I see my coat, hanging off the back of an office chair. I reach out to take it and when I do, I smell something that warms my heart. It smells just like Ciel.

He always manages to spread his scent onto anything that I wear. Or own, for that matter. Everywhere I go, I feel like he is right beside me. I don't mind in the slightest. It's as if I'm taking a piece of Ciel with me, with every step I take. I wonder what he's doing right now. Ciel...

Ciel.

_Shit._

My heartbeat speeds up as I race out of the building and through the parking lot, to find my car. I don't even think about the fact that I shouldn't be driving in this condition and spot my car, a few yards away. My vision is not at all blurry, so I deem myself able to drive. I told Ciel I would be back before two. _It's so late. _After I step into my car and start driving to my home, I think of something. Has he called me? I fish in my pocket for the phone and once I find it, I pull it out and look at the screen. No missed calls. Maybe he's sleeping, then. I don't want him to worry where I might be, because he wears the most heartbreaking look when he worries.

About halfway through my driving trip, my phone rings. It takes longer than intended to find what I'm looking for, but I manage to answer the call before the voicemail picks up. "Hello?"

_"S-Some...one's i-in the h-h-house."_

That one whispered sentence has my mind working more than it can handle. That's Ciel. That is so clearly Ciel. He's speaking in such hushed tones that the fact alone has me unconsciously pressing harder on the gas pedal. Something's wrong. It's so difficult to understand what he's saying.

"Ciel? I can barely hear you."

_"H-He's c-c-coming cl-closer."_

That's when I register just what he said. 'Someone's in the house.'

"Ciel...Ciel listen to me. Listen to me." I hear his breathing on the other end of the line. It's high pitched, shaky, and very shallow. "End this call and dial the police. Do you understand? Call the police. Immediately." My foot is so heavy on the gas pedal, I almost think I can't press it any further. It hurts me so much to know that Ciel is in danger. Not only that, but that he is in danger in his own home. I left him there, assuming Aleister would take care of any problems. I assumed Ciel would know how to escape any danger. I assumed all would be fine._ I was wrong._

My foot lowers even more.

"Where are you?" I really hope he's in a well-hidden space.

_"H-H-He's h-here." _The sheer panic and fear that is so obviously shown in his voice has me gripping the phone tighter. _Why did this have to happen when I was gone?_ I can't protect him if I'm not there. Dammit, I can't do _anything._

"Ciel?" I speak in as hushed a tone I can, considering Ciel is probably trying to stay out of earshot from the intruder. I don't receive a response. Not even his breathing. I heard that when he was speaking to me. Now, I hear nothing.

A rather loud sound occurs and it sounds like the phone hit the floor. The more I lean on the gas pedal, the more I strain my ears to listen to the other side of the phone. I think about calling out Ciel's name, but decide against it. The phone dropped for a reason. Ciel isn't saying anything for a reason. It doesn't seem like a good reason.

_"Found you."_

Those two words have me nearly crush the phone in my hand. The low pitched voice and tone of the speaker makes it obvious who the person is. Though his voice is quiet and sounds distant, I know that Claude is the one who found Ciel. _Claude found Ciel._

A scream that can only be labeled as Ciel's is heard, and my eyes widen at the horrific sound. My mind plays the sound over and over and I can't stop hearing it, even when it stops. The pained cries of Ciel become muffled and I can hear them quieting; becoming lethargic. His voice isn't further away; it's stopping entirely.

The line goes silent.

The gas pedal won't press down any further. Every second that passes leaves Ciel further away from my grasp. I can't do anything about it. _Nothing._ Shuffling sounds come from the speaker and I refrain from smashing the windshield with the device. The noise dies out quickly and I'm left listening to an empty room. The pure anger that I'm feeling right now has me seeing red and I can't think straight.

No, that's not right.

I'm thinking perfectly straight. _Like an arrow._

A sound of rage leaves my throat as I throw my phone against the dashboard. Metal and plastic separate as it cracks and tears apart. I feel my breathing quicken as time mocks me and passes by without a care. The seconds turn to minutes and I can _feel _Ciel slipping through my fingers. The house is closer than ever now, and I find myself becoming more and more furious. My hands shake as I grip the steering wheel hard enough to bend the material. My foot rams into the acceleration as I scowl and narrowly avoid another car.

_I'm going to rip that man to shreds. How __**dare**__ he so much as lay a finger on Ciel? He has no right to touch anything so beautifully precious with his revolting filth. He has no right to break into my home and steal the absolute one thing in this world I would die for. He took Ciel away from me. __**I'm going to snuff out his fucking life.**_


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N:**** I really want to warn you, there are some disturbing things in this chapter.**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Stoned:**** I love when I am able to make someone's day, so I'm so glad I made yours~. ^-^ And here's an update for your troubles.**

**Guest:**** Hi. Mhm, this story needs a cavity warning for the fluffy chapters. I feel so flattered~ thank you. x3 Awe, you read the prequel and sequel in two days? And stayed up all night? Well, my good sir. You've succeeded in making me smile like an idiot. ^o^ Psh school and all its education. Taking me away from giving my readers plot... *Grumbles***

**Azaora:**** I hope you like this chappie~ it lends some insight into the recent happenings (hopefully). ^^**

Chapter XIX

_***Memory refresher from chapter 17***_

_My hands don't move, not from their previous positions of being suspended in midair. No, if I move, I'll make more sound than I have. That won't make a difference. All the sounds in the world don't compare to the deafening thump of the phone on the carpet. That noise echoes throughout the room and won't leave. No, it won't leave. My heartbeat stops and my eyes won't close. All that I can hear, are the booming steps of black shoes as they turn around and face my direction._

_Water starts to gather within my eyes at the sickening realization that the shoes are returning to where I am hiding. And they are faster than before. Much faster. This time they stop one foot away. One foot. Hot tears trail down my cheeks as I see the dark, black pants above the midnight, black shoes start to crinkle and the man leans down._

_That's when I smell it._

_That smell...that smell._

_"Found you."_

* * *

The moment those words break through the silence and hit my ears, I know who is in front of me. I haven't forgotten that voice. Every time I fall asleep and end up with nightmares, instead of dreams, I hear_ his_ voice. Even with my entire body trembling, I can't feel anything, but the cold air on my skin and the panic in my chest. My eyes blink and my heart stops when a large hand reaches underneath the mattress and forcefully takes a hold of my wrist.

My 'fight or flight' response kicks in once again as I try to pry off the fingers pulling me out of my hiding place. My breathing speeds up and my eyes won't close as I attempt to claw at the hand dragging me out from underneath the bed. _If I am pulled out of here, I won't have a chance to escape._

I scream, with all of the air in my lungs, to tell him to stop. I shake my head frantically and feel Claude's grip tighten to the point of bruising. The carpet scratches my skin as I slide on the material and try to back away from the inevitable. Any hope I might have had leaves, as soon as I am fully out in the open.

In a flash of black, I shut my eyes and continue claw at the hand and feel my feet slipping on the coarse carpet. As I keep screaming, hoping desperately for someone to hear me, hands grip my shoulders and spin me around. One hand wraps around my chest and the other leaves my shoulder for a moment. I feel so helpless when his slightly elevated breathing fans across the back of my neck. My entire body struggles in the hold of Claude as I thrash around and my nails scratch anything they can.

Opening my eyes, I try to see if I can use anything against him. _Nothing is in my reach. _Before I can free myself, my hands are being forcefully bound behind my back, tied by a strong material. I claw the scratchy restrictions, but all I am left with, are gloves covering my fingers. I can't tear them off my hands. _I can't tear anything while wearing gloves._

My mouth feels dry and rough as I continue to call for help. _Help that won't come._ My heart is beating out of my chest as I don't stop struggling and moving in the hold of _him. _The man behind me is saying something as he raises his hand to hold my neck, but I have no idea what. I can't hear anything, other than the deafening screams coming from my throat. _I should have listened._

A split second sniff of an aroma drifts to my nose and I instantly lower my shouts and hold my breath. I've smelled that before. The sickly sweet smell of _that chemical. _The chemical _they _used to knock me out. A cloth is being pressed over my mouth and nose and I don't inhale.

_Don't breathe._

My screaming stops entirely as I focus on holding the fresh oxygen in my lungs and not inhaling. My head turns and twists every which way as I use all of my willpower to break away from the situation.

"Shhh."

My lungs feel as if they're about to collapse in on themselves. _I can't let it end this way._ The hand on my neck hasn't left and it doesn't want to release me any time soon.

_Don't breathe._

If I try to bite Claude's hand, I'll end up with chloroform in my mouth. I'll end up inhaling the chemical. I'll end up unconscious.

_Don't...breathe._

My chest tightens with each passing second and I know I can't hold out much longer. My vision is starting to fog up and I can't feel my fingers. All of my unplanned thoughts of escape wither away as my body swallows two lungfuls of tainted air. The second I smell that sweet aroma, I feel sick to my stomach. My head spins as I lose my sense of reality and unwillingly inhale a second helping of chloroform. Time melts away and I realize just how long I've been breathing this toxin. I nearly fall to the floor when my knees give out from under me, but Claude shifts his hand from my neck to my waist. As my stomach churns, my head starts to droop down and my system grows numb.

My vision blurs the dark colors of the room as I continue to take in the toxin. Everything in my mind stills and comes to a stop as I take one last breath of the chemical and fall completely limp in Claude's grip. My eyes roll back in my head as I feel the all-too-familiar sensation of fainting. Everything around me fades to black and my senses rapidly drift away from my body.

* * *

The soft sound of rustling material wakes me from my empty sleep and I slowly crack open my eyes. Immediately, a throbbing pain shoots through my head and I groan at the unwanted feeling. The sound that leaves my throat is so breathy and hoarse, that I almost think it wasn't me. I cough involuntarily and feel the dull ache in my head pound against my skull. When I blink a few times, I see gray. My senses eventually return to me and I notice that I'm lying down, on a floor, facing a gray wall. Even though the ground is carpeted, it still manages to feel cold against my skin.

_Where is this?_

A wave of nausea flows over me as I rack my brain for any recent memories. I was talking to Sebastian...on the phone. I called him. Why did I call him? He...he was late. I called Sebastian because...no. I called Sebastian because someone broke into the house. _Claude_ broke into the house. Then it hits me.

Claude chloroformed me.

_I passed out._

I try to use my hands to push me off the floor as the pain in my head subsides a bit. All that I accomplish, is realizing that my hands are still encased in gloves and tied behind my back. I shut my eyes for a second and take deep breaths, hoping to calm my nervousness. When I open them again, I use the soles of my feet and arm to lift myself up, into a sitting position. As soon as I am able to sit upright, I lean against the gray wall behind me and curl my knees to my chest, as much as I can.

After a moment, I notice something thick and constricting pressing against my neck. All around my neck, actually. It feels like material, but it's stiff. Since I can't use my hands to see it, I can only guess what it is. I have an assumption, but I don't like it.

_Please don't be what I think it is._

I tilt my head down and try to see if my guess is correct. When my line of sight falls on the strip of material connected from my neck to the leg of a nearby couch, I feel my heart sink. There is a collar around my neck. A leash is connecting that collar to the sofa. _I feel so humiliated. Everything about this situation hurts my pride. If I even had any to begin with, that is. I'm not...I'm not an animal that needs a f-fucking leash._

Trying to push away my shame, I ignore the restrictions and my eyes scan the room. I suppose Claude removed my eyepatch, since I can see out of both of my eyes. _Terrific. _That's just the cherry on top, isn't it? When I look in front of me, my breathing picks up. Not more than ten feet away from my seat on the floor, is the cause of my predicament.

Claude is leaning back in a golden framed chair, watching me. He isn't saying anything. He hasn't said anything. The sight causes a shiver to run up my spine and I start to feel more and more uneasy as the seconds tick by. Just the fact that he isn't making a move has my mind race. What feels like an eternity passes, before he finally speaks.

"I missed you." There's a smile on his face. Maybe it's a smirk. I'm not very sure, since my mind is still a little foggy and my stomach is still churning.

His sentence has me almost gagging at how revolting that sounds, but I settle for a frown. Not wanting to breathe a word to him, I keep silent. What would be the point of speaking? He has made up his mind; he doesn't want me to leave, so why should I beg him to let me go? I don't beg. Especially not to scum.

My fingers itch to tear away the soft fabric coating them as Claude stands up and brushes back a few strands of stray hairs on his head. His black shoes are nearly soundless as they cross the plush flooring and make their way over to me. I instinctively press myself further back, but only end up hitting a wall. There is hardly any glare on Claude's glasses, so I can see right through the transparent glass and into his honey colored eyes. I really wish I couldn't.

Once he stops walking, a foot or two in front of me, he kneels down and looks directly into my eyes. I can hear my heartbeat in my ears and barely anything else in the room. There aren't any noises, so maybe I can hear, there just aren't any sounds to be heard. My entire body flinches when he reaches out and runs his fingers through my hair. The gesture is almost _comforting _that it makes my stomach flip and I feel the need to empty its contents onto the floor. Or Claude. Either way is fine with me.

That expression on his face has me constantly trying to shift further away from him, but that doesn't do anything. He starts to look as if he's thinking about something, before he says, "You look so much like him."

_Who...?_

"But, your eye," he raises his other hand to rest on my cheek and rub his thumb under my left eye, "looks just like hers."

A lump forms in my throat and I swallow nervously, not liking the conversation. _What is he talking about? Who do I look like? And my eye..._

"They really cherished you, didn't they?"

A small sliver of realization starts to dawn on me and the throbbing in my head aches even more. _Is he...talking about my parents? He can't be. He has no idea who they were. They've been gone for years now. How would he know what they looked like?_

Both of my eyes take in the sight of Claude and my mind shifts. I feel hidden memories break through the dam of my thoughts as the hands on my skin remain in their places. My eyes widen and I feel my heart stop.

* * *

_"Are you having fun, honey?"_

_I hear Mommy talking to me as I run through the house with a plastic airplane in my hand and a blissful smile on my face. I laugh to myself as the plane turns a corner and nearly crashes into Daddy. When I stop running, I look up at him and try to see if he's mad at me._

_He chuckles a bit and ruffles my hair as he makes his way over to my mom in the other room. "Just be careful, son."_

_That sentence causes me to smile once again as I receive the 'all clear' to continue playing. My feet carry me into every room and every space in the house, until I feel my tummy growling. Mommy calls it the hungry monster in my stomach, but I told her she was lying. I know she wasn't lying, I was just scared of the monster and wanted to be tough for Mommy. Monsters scare me sometimes, but if they ever try to hurt her, I'll make sure they never ever grumble again. Supper will be soon, so I don't have to wait too long for food._

_As soon as the airplane flight ends, I walk into my room and put the plane back onto the carpet. After I've finished with that, I think of which toy I want to play with next. I spot my favorite teddy under a pile of sheets on my bed and I shuffle over to it. When I take hold of its hand and cradle it to my chest, I hum in happiness and head back over to where Mommy and Daddy are. They both are sitting on the couch next to each other as I enter the room and plop down in between them._

_The couch is so high up off the ground, it's hard for me to get up there, but I'm able to do it. Because I'm a big boy and even Daddy says so. Mommy turns to me and smothers my head in kisses, which makes me make a face and struggle against her. Kisses are so icky. Still, I can't help but laugh when she tickles my sides. Daddy says something and stands to answer the door when the bell rings._

_Eventually, Mommy lets me go and I hop off the couch, intending to pick up my favorite rabbit plush on the floor. I don't want him to get jealous of Teddy. It's happened before and it wasn't pretty. The two of them didn't talk for a long time and I had to tell them to make up and be friends again._

_Grasping the hand of Bitty, I sit down on the rug and watch as Daddy comes back into the room. There's another man with him, though. I haven't seen him, before. I don't think. Daddy has so many of his company workers over all the time, it's hard to remember their faces. Like all the other ones, Daddy motions for me to introduce myself, so I stand up and head over to where the two are. Even though I am always sort of shy around new people, I muster up all of my courage and say, "I'm...Ciel," with a voice that is too weak for my liking._

_I want to sound like Daddy. His voice is so deep and grown-up. Everyone listens to him. I can't wait to be all grown-up. Then I can have all of the sweets I want and stay up past my bedtime. Mommy always tells me that growing boys need healthy food and lots of sleep, so I try to be a good boy and listen to her. At least I can still have a sweet after dinner. And they're always homemade._

"_This is my son. He's shy, but he has a lot of conviction," Daddy says as he places a hand on my back and nudges me closer to the other man._

_I can tell he wants me to be more...what was the word? I remember Daddy saying it one time. Asertantive...ascerinteve...assertive...? I think that's what it was. He likes me to be more chatty and speak to his 'business partners.'_

_The man next to him smiles and ruffles my hair. "You look so much like him."_

_Daddy gets a prideful look and stands up a bit straighter as he responds. "I see myself and Rachel in him everyday. Ciel is our absolute pride and joy."_

_Hearing him say that I'm his 'pride and joy' makes me smile and I try a little harder to mask my shyness in front of Daddy's business partner. With a determined look, I reach my hand out in front of me and wait. I've seen Daddy do this when he's saying 'hi' or 'bye' to one of his friends. They usually hold each other's hands and move them up and down for a few seconds. The businessman watches as my hand is hanging in the air and he reaches out with his own hand._

_Giddiness bubbles inside me as I think of how 'mature' I am and how proud Daddy will be of me now. When the man's hand grasps mine, I watch how much smaller my hand is in his._

"_It's a pleasure to meet you, Ciel. My name is Claude."_

_Mommy calls Daddy's name and he says something back to her, so she shouts back the answer. He turns to face the room where she is so they can talk easier. I watch, in amazement, as the grown-up hand in mine lifts my small hand up and down. Then the hand stops moving, but it doesn't let go. I try to remember if Daddy did this, but I can't think of anything._

_ I look up as the man starts to rub the back of my hand with his thumb in little circles. The smile on his face is a little different than before. As soon as Daddy turns back around to face us, Claude lets go and his smile, from before, is back. I feel something strange happening, so I shuffle over to stand behind Daddy. _

_ When we all go to where Mommy is, I follow closely behind Daddy. We enter the room and I see Bitty and Teddy having a conversation by themselves. I hope they aren't fighting. I sit down in front of them and wait for them to stop talking. Once they do, I raise Bitty's floppy ear and whisper, "Are you fighting with Teddy?" Mommy and Daddy talk to Claude as I pick up Teddy and hold him close to my chest. Bitty is being so angry right now._

_Claude says something and Mommy says, "Yes," with that soft voice of hers._

_Mommy's so nice to me. She never really yells or gets mad at me. Unless I do something bad. Then she takes away my sweets. She only did that once, since it was so terrible that I never wanted to go without my sweets ever again. I always behave like a good boy now._

_A pair of strong arms are lifting me up from my position on the floor and I leave Bitty and Teddy behind as Claude carries me over to the couch opposite Mommy and Daddy. He sits down first and then sets me on his lap, with his hand behind my back, keeping me from falling. It's like what Santa does when I visit him at the mall. It feels weird to be sitting on Claude's lap, since I'm pretty sure he isn't one of Santa's elves. He's too tall to be an elf. And he isn't wearing any cheerful colors. And he can't be Santa, since he doesn't even have a beard._

_A whistle blows from the kitchen and Mommy excuses herself to prepare the tea. She makes the best tea in the whole world. I asked her how she did it one day, and she told me that the secret ingredient was love. I was shocked that such a simple ingredient could make tea taste so good._

_Daddy puts on his thinking face as Claude says something to him about the business. Then, he excuses himself. He goes in the direction of his office, so I think he's going to get some papers for work or something. I temporarily wonder if I should offer help, but my thoughts are stopped when Claude places his free hand on my bare knee. His skin is so cold, it feels like the ice on the windows really early in the morning. I look up at him and he smiles right at me. I kick my feet a little bit and his hand moves away from my knee, more toward my tummy. It tickles, so I squirm a bit and can't stop a laugh from breaking through._

_When his cold hand moves on top of my shorts, I feel my skin start to warm up. Mommy calls out from the kitchen, asking me if I'd like tea. Claude's hand stops moving and I stop laughing, so I shout, "Yes, please."_

_I'm still smiling and I look to my side to look at Claude, when I see he's wearing a tie. It looks just like Daddy's. Grown-ups always wear ties. Well, Mommy doesn't, but she's a lady and 'ladies don't wear ties.' That's what she told me one time. I reach out and grab a hold of the black material, pulling it a little bit toward myself. It even feels like Daddy's ties. I pull the tie closer to my face and I sniff at it for a second and smile wider at the smell of sweets. Not just any sweets, though. I know that smell anywhere. Claude's tie smells just like Daddy's sweets. Daddy tells me to call them Funtom confect...confections...? I think that's what he said. He uses such big words sometimes._

_Daddy's business is practically all sweets, so I love when he has me sample some of his new ideas. Mommy doesn't like me sampling so many all at once, but Daddy sneaks me a few when she's not looking. I wonder if anything other than Claude's tie smells like Daddy's sweets. Moving my hand, I grip the fold of Claude's jacket and press my nose into the softness. When I sniff it, I smell a whole bunch of different chocolates, cookies, and pastries._

"_Do you like the way I smell?"_

"_Smells like Daddy," I say as I pull away from his jacket. When Daddy comes home from work and gives me a big hug, I always smell his work on him. Even if it's only a little._

"_You can keep smelling, if you want. I don't mind."_

_I shake my head and kick my feet, not wanting to be rude. Mommy says that I shouldn't take too much from anyone, even if it's offered._

"_I like your smell, Ciel." He leans down and I feel his nose on my head, sniffing a bit. I smile and shake my head, like I do with Mommy and Daddy._

_Claude's hand drifts over my leg and stops right under my tummy, which makes me giggle at the ticklish spot. The ticklish feeling goes away when I feel his cold fingers touch my skin under my shirt. My smile drops and I frown at the odd feeling. Only Mommy and Daddy have ever touched me like this before. Aunt Ann touches my tummy when I go in for check-ups, but she's supposed to do that. The way Claude's fingers move down and slide underneath my shorts makes me uncomfortable. He's getting too close to the place that Mommy tells me nobody should ever touch. Not even she touches me here._

_My brows furrow and I squirm at the bad feeling of Claude's hand moving even lower. I have to get him away from there. Mommy and Daddy will be mad if they find out what's happening. They told me to never ever let anyone get anywhere close to this area. They're going to be mad at me if they find out that someone did._

_I hear Mommy's footsteps heading over to where Claude and I are and Claude removes his hand. As soon as he does and Mommy enters the room, I jump off of Claude's lap and run over to her. I wrap my arms around her legs and bury my face in her stomach. She balances the tea and laughs as she tries to convince me to let her go. I breathe in a few times and smile a bit as I start to feel safe in her presence. Daddy comes back into the room and I let Mommy go, not wanting to look weak in front of Daddy._

_When everyone sits down and I crawl into Mommy's lap, I drink my tea and snuggle into the hug she's giving me. She smells more like flowers than Daddy does. Like sweet flowers. Something far back in my mind is telling me that I should let Mommy know what Claude did, but I don't want her to get mad._

_After Daddy and Claude talk about business for a while, they stand up and Mommy pats my head, telling me to get off her lap. I place my teacup on the table and follow everyone to the door. Daddy grabs a hold of Claude's hand and moves it up and down, which means that they are saying 'bye.'_

_Mommy steps up, after Daddy's finished shaking Claude's hand, and she shakes it as well. I frown, knowing I'll have to shake his hand, too. She finishes her goodbye and I slowly make my way over to stand in front of Claude. His yellow eyes are watching me through his glasses as he lifts his hand for me to take. I raise my hand and he quickly takes it. I shuffle on my feet a bit as he gently shakes my hand._

"_It was delightful meeting you, Ciel," Claude says as he smiles at me._

_Daddy coughs and I get what he's trying to tell me._

"_You...too," I say. _

_He lets go and I take a few steps back, to be behind Daddy. _


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N:**** If anyone was wondering, I made Ciel's rabbit toy's name, "Bitty," up from Bitter Rabbit. (This chapter is open to...**_**interpretations**_** at certain times, and **_***needs a similar warning as, if not stronger than, chapter 19.***_**) And I'm so sorry about the extremely late post. AND. I'll get to the pm's either today or tomorrow. I will. Mhm.**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

_***My replies to the guest reviews are always in chronological order, for those with the name "Guest." ^^**_

**Guest:**** Yush~ I reply to all my lovely reviewers. ^^ Haha, the excitement is always there, you just don't see it half the time because the fluff is giving it all the cavities. That doesn't make any sense. T-T Awee, you appreciate my story~ x3 Gah, you're so nice to me. ^^ Yush, someone needs to do something about that turd that rhymes with slaud...er. *3* I don't think I make sense anymore. Oh well~**

**Tylostoma:**** Yes, people don't usually have an easy time understanding my train of thought. So, I keep my thoughts to myself a majority of the time. ^-^ Awe, your kitty~ That's so cute~ I hope you like this new update. Gah, so cute. Tell Luca I say hello~ :3**

**Guest:**** Mhm, plot-filled chappies await us. We shall see just what is going on in the magical hidden plot box that is slowly being revealed to us. *3***

**BooKat:**** *Flails alongside you* We need an exterminator for Claude instead of the bug exterminators. Maybe Ghost Busters. Claude Busters...Hm...*Ideas***

**Guest:**** Haha, hello again. x3 Nah, you aren't bothering me in the slightest. I love hearing from my readers and I love when they like my story~ I can be rather impatient as well, so I can relate to your situation. ^^ Haha, all the fluff~ It's so fun to read, isn't it~? Addicting as chocolate. And that stuff... *Drools***

**Tsutsuyandere:**** Ah, thank you for letting me know about any possible problems. ^^ I'm always out of the loop, so I'm glad there's someone who will let me know if anything goes down. x3 Well, I hope you like this chappie~ c:**

**Guest:**** Gargh, thank you~ I'm so flattered. ^-^ Please enjoy this new helping of lovely chapter 20~! :3**

Chapter XX

_I can't breathe._

Claude is too close to me.

_Too close to me._

I remember him. I remember him so clearly and my head won't stop spinning. My mind wanted me to forget everything all those years ago. No, it _needed _me to forget. Everything that my mind repressed as a child is all returning to me now. Not one thing is left in the dark. Memories that were meant to fade, never did. They didn't disappear, they only hid. They were waiting for the right time to show themselves and alter the rest of my mind.

I was so young that I wasn't aware of the situation. I saw what was happening, but I didn't _understand. _I didn't understand that it wasn't normal for a strange man to touch me that way. I didn't understand that I should have told my parents. I didn't understand the mood changes of my dad when Claude visited. My first memory of Claude was not the last. He stopped by the house many times after that; each time he would jump at the opportunity to be near me.

_Only when my parents weren't watching._

My mom would be tending to the garden or working on her newest sewing project in the other room. My dad would be rifling through business papers or negotiating with a client on the phone in the other room. _In the other room._

Claude asked me if I wanted to take a trip with him to see his shop one day. I took a moment to think about it, since I _absolutely __**loved**__ my dad's sweet creations._ _Nothing_ was better than being able to surround myself with the smell of all of my dad's hard work. _Nothing. _He would be gone most of the day, so I just _loved_ to see where he was while not at home. Claude gave me an option of visiting the place where my dad's sweets were on display.

_I said yes._

* * *

It might have been a few hours, maybe more, since I woke up. My mind has given up on me and it won't let me keep track of time. I can't blame it though, considering just how much it's been hiding from most of my life. A window on the far corner of the room, on the wall across from me, lets me see the nonexistent sun.

It's early in the morning and the stars aren't even out now. Every second that ticks by, the sun rises another fraction of a centimeter and I blink my eyes without thought. I can't do much, other than blink and breathe. I'm tied to a piece of furniture and I can't move it. I can't try to move it, considering my hands are encased in gloves and bound behind my back. The gloves are soft and almost feel as if they aren't there. But they are.

When Claude left the room, I couldn't find my senses to tell my feet to move for a few minutes. When I was finally able to listen to my thoughts, I stood up on shaky limbs and sat down on the couch. I haven't moved since then, considering I have nowhere else to go. I can't sleep, though. My mind is too awake to sleep. Well, that doesn't sound very true. My mind isn't working...as it normally would, so I can't consider it fully 'awake.' But, my nerves are on edge and sleep is not an option right now.

_I think I smell something._

No, there isn't anything in this room besides some furniture and _that window._ The window that mocks me with the sound of rustling leaves and the soft whisper of wind. It's cracked open about a foot. I would push it up a bit further and be able to crawl out of there, onto the dewy grass and cool dirt. I would feel the nippy air and see the faint orange glow of the street lights scattered around town. I would run past the buildings and trees and sprint to Sebastian's house. I don't care how far it is. I would run there if it were on the opposite side of the world. I would arrive at _my home_ and knock on the door, when Sebastian would open it up and pull me into a hug.

I would smile and bury my face into his shirt to imprint the memory of his scent into my mind and never forget it. I would walk inside and he would ask if I'd like anything to eat. I would look into his eyes and blush at the direct eye contact, but not look away.

_I would._

_But I can't._

I can only watch as the occasional insect darts past the glass and flutters its wings. I can only listen as the bushes scrape against the side of the house and brush the blades of grass underneath the leaves.

_I would rather have the window closed._

I don't turn my head when the doorknob turns. I don't feel the need to spare him a glance when I shouldn't be here. I shouldn't _be here. _The door closes behind him and the metal handle lets out that distinct _click _as it locks. The smell I thought I detected earlier is stronger now. It's food, I think.

My sight of the unattainable outside is blocked when Claude moves to stand in front of me. Not seeing the window is not the same as if it were closed. It's still there; still out of reach; still mocking me. I just can't see it.

"Ciel."

I flinch at the sudden interruption of my thoughts and shift further into the corner of the couch. I hate that Claude knows my name. It's too personal of an item for Claude to know the pronunciation. When he says my name, I feel like he knows too much about me. He shouldn't know anything about me. He doesn't_ deserve_ to know.

It's only when he takes a step closer and my breathing speeds up in response that I realize he's been talking. He's asking me if I'd like to eat. I know if I tried to speak, my voice would fail me, so I stay silent and try to place as much space between us as possible. He's holding a tray in his hand, with what looks like soup in a bowl. Judging by the scent, I think my guess is about right.

Somewhere between thirty seconds and two minutes, Claude sighs. He _sighs. _He's acting as if I want to be here. As if I _chose _to be here. As if I'm a guest in his house. He takes a step forward and I flinch when the sound of the shoe hits the carpet reaches my ears. I try to calm myself, since being on edge won't help anything. If I want to escape this place, I need to form a plan.

Claude takes another step and eventually situates himself on the couch. The same couch that I can't escape. He's sitting next to me. _I can smell him, he's so close to me. _His aroma outweighs the soup's scent and I feel my head spin with the newly-remembered memories. H-He smells like...my dad.

_I need to get out of here._

The aroma strengthens when Claude leans over to me and holds the soup in one hand and a spoon in the other. I can't eat with hands tied behind my back, in case he hasn't noticed. Before I can think if I even want to say anything, he dips the spoon into the soup and gathers a small amount on the silver. When he extends his hand to my face, I frown even more than I have been and turn my head away. There is no way in Hell that I would ever let Claude _feed me._ Not to mention the food is something that he cooked. I am not eating something that _he _made. And how do I know if it isn't poison? He has no reason _not _to. How do I know that he won't kill me?

_ I don't._

He tries again to have me eat, but I turn my head once more and nearly knock over the spoon full of liquid in the process. It does touch my nose, though. A part of my subconscious is telling me that I should have simply knocked over the silverware, since it would be an extra task of cleaning for Claude to fulfil. I should have listened to that thought, considering Claude now is wearing a smile. No, it's more of a smirk, but not quite.

My heartbeat speeds up unpleasantly when he sets the bowl and spoon aside and fully faces me. I feel his breath barely reach my face and it makes me almost gag. _I need to leave. _He doesn't give me any warning whatsoever, before he leans in even more and forcefully takes a hold of the back of my head; making me look directly at him. I flinch at the contact and feel my breathing shallow and I know I will faint if I don't calm down soon. I can't faint now; not here. _Not here._

Claude's fingers maintain a firm grip on my hair, making it extremely difficult to turn my head. I move it anyway, not ready to accept this as the inevitable. My neck strains and I quickly find out that _I can't do anything._ His yellow eyes are shining with an emotion that I never would want to see on him and I feel my throat dry up with how close he is. I can smell him so strongly that I feel sick to my stomach. When he licks the nonexistent drop of soup off my nose, I violently shiver in disgust and tightly shut my eyes. _This...can't be happening._

_Where is Sebastian?_

I shouldn't have to depend on someone so heavily, but Sebastian has never failed to save me from unwanted situations. Even if it might take a while, he always manages to help me. I feel as if I would have died long ago, if it weren't for Sebastian. He brought me out of the gutter and let me live in his home. He invited me inside. He gave me comfort and forced me to open up. At least, to him.

But even so, I should be able to fend for myself. Even in situations where I have no control. Situations like the one right now. I can't use my hands to push Claude away or claw out his eyes. I can't even _move my head. _How am I supposed to fend for myself now? _I can't._

When I open my eyes, I see Claude lean back for a moment and I try to wriggle my way into an escape. An escape that I haven't formulated yet. He doesn't release his hold on my hair, which makes my breathing speed up a bit more, and leans in again. His dry, hot breath crosses my face as he nears it and my vision starts to pick up small black splotches from lack of air.

_I don't want this._

The moment his lips touch mine, my head begins to painfully throb. The hidden memories that aren't-so-hidden anymore show themselves to me once more and I have to strain myself to breathe deeper, in order to not pass out. It's so difficult to keep breathing, considering every single memory that passes my mind contains Claude and my ignorance. My ears flatten, my tail bristles, my eyes screw shut, my breathing quickens even more, and my wrists pull at each other harshly when a warm, wet tongue slides across my lips.

_I don't want this._

Behind my eyelids, everything is black. The only sign that I am close to passing out, is the slight deafness to the sounds around me. The sounds of the insects, wind, and leaves from beyond the window are all lowered in volume to the point of muting. I can hear my heartbeat, though. It's loud. _The blackness under my eyelids seems darker than usual._ Just as I feel my senses leaving me, once again, I notice the most absolutely _revolting _sensation. The feeling of Claude's tongue entering my mouth and his hand pressing my chest down into the cushions of the couch forces my breathing to completely stop.

_I don't...want..._


	21. Chapter 21

**Point of View:**** Alois Trancy**

**TsuTsuYandere:**** Yush, I killed everyone with such a cliffhanger. But, I hope you like this chappie. Hope. Haha, I hate waking up early, too. More than the smell of brussel sprouts. x3 Haha, don't wreck a house just yet, we haven't even gotten to the peak of the story~.**

**MeganeMusume:**** I completely agree. He'd just blow a whistle and Sebby would barge through the wall and go on a rampage. *3***

**BooKat:**** Haha, Claude Busters. x3 I just couldn't stop laughing at that. ^-^**

**Tylostoma:**** Awe, that's so adorable that Luca watches you read your fanficiton. ^^ Haha, if animals could talk, they'd probably all say humans are freaks. x3 My cat slaps me sometimes, too. She doesn't have claws out, but she whacks my face. She got my eye the other day. T-T The answers to those questions are confidential. ^-^ Gah, enjoy this update, my lovely~.**

**Arisa:**** Thank you so much~! Oh, happy belated birthday, then. ^^ I'm so glad you changed your opinion on my lil' story. :3 Please enjoy this chappie Arisa~.**

**Stoned:**** Mhm, the plot is cooking nicely. Lots o' spices and sauces. Yummy-licious. I'm surprised my computer detected 'yummy-licious' as a word. *-* I think that deserves a point. Computer: 1, Me: 10,000. Don't ask how I got all those points. :c I don't even know what I'm talking about. T-T Anyway, thank you for your scrumptious review~.**

XXI

Once my body decides it's had enough sleep, my eyelids flutter open and I blink a few times to allow my mind to wake up. As I start to remember where I am, I notice the familiar crack in the wall in front of my face. After about ten minutes of staring into the shadowed depths of the jagged fissure, I come to realize that something's different. I can't put my finger on it, but something isn't the same.

Groaning at my ridiculous thoughts, I turn my head away from the wall and roll off the bed. Well, roll isn't the best word to use. I guess 'fall' would be a better term. As I pick myself up off of the floor, I make my way over to the dresser and open a drawer. Maybe my mind isn't fully awake yet, since I keep zoning out and just _staring_ at the most random shit. The purple on my jacket isn't going to change color any time soon, so I have no idea why I need to watch it for hours on end.

With a frown, I snatch my clothing for the day out of the drawer and shuffle into it. Before I close the wooden compartment, I take one last look inside and feel time slow down for a few seconds. Only when I shift my sight elsewhere, does time seem to flow normally. From my peripheral vision, a metal shine of the object inside the drawer catches my eye. I can feel my mind debating on whether or not to pick it up, but I'm not listening. I don't listen because I don't _want _to.

With the most reluctant sigh, I shift my focus back onto the shining metal and pick it up. It feels heavy in my hand, but I've held it many times before, so I'm used to it. Undertaker gave it to me a while back, since he said he didn't want me to run into any rabid creatures without a plan.

Trying to push the though of actually carrying this thing around aside, I stuff it into my jacket's pocket and sigh once more when I see that it isn't noticeable. As I head to the door of my room, I glance at the clock and take note of the time. I slept a long time, didn't I? Since Undertaker let me have today off from work, I opted to plan out my day. I smile to myself as I think of my schedule.

* * *

When I called Ciel, I wasn't expecting to hear a very bubbly man answer the phone. I nearly dropped the phone when he shouted into the receiver. After I had a small chat with my Ciel, I hung up and trotted over to his home.

That is where I am now, actually. Ringing the doorbell, I wait outside the house and observe my surroundings. Things are much warmer than they used to be, considering the winter months are passing by. It took long enough. I look at the front door and frown slightly. Sebastian's door is all...chipped. The paint is peeled off in places, almost like an animal clawed at it. A thought hits me and I feel my frown fading, leaving a smile behind. Did Ciel...?

The door opens and a very blonde, very clad in white, very dramatic man greets me. I have to hold back my laughter at the sight of this guy. Ciel has to deal with this? Going along with his words, I act as if I'm paying attention to him and end up knocking on Ciel's bedroom door. Butterflies flutter around in my stomach as I wait for his response. I haven't seen him in so long. It's so hard for me not to just burst through the door and smother him in a hug.

A few seconds pass, which feel more like minutes, and I call his name. I don't want to seem rude, so I wait for his approval for me to enter the room. What I don't expect, though, is Ciel opening the door. My heart beats faster and I feel my smile growing when he smiles groggily at me. "Ciel." He looks as if he's just gotten out of bed. His hair is a mess and his eyes are half-closed, not to mention the rumpled clothing. He steps aside and I let myself in, heading over to the freshly-used mattress.

I sit down onto the cushy sheets and he walks back over to where I am. When he sits down next to me, I can't help myself and surround him with a hug I've been wanting to give him since I called. I take the opportunity and sniff his hair, which has me smiling into his dark blue locks. He smells so nice. The moment he returns the hug, I feel my face heat up and my heartbeat picks up again. _I missed this._

We part and talk for a bit, but eventually Ciel's eyes start to droop and he crawls over to his pillows. His tail swishes in happiness as he curls around a pillow and drifts off to sleep. I catch myself staring after a while and reach over to pet his furry ears. Once again, I realize I'm staring and I tell Ciel that I'm going to be leaving, even if he's asleep. The most adorable sound comes from his lips as he mumbles something about sweets.

I slowly raise myself from the bed and head over to the door, sneaking one last look at my Ciel, before leaving. Once I say a very enthusiastic goodbye to 'Aleister,' as he has told me to call him, I exit the house and waltz down the neighborhood. Since I've crossed out one of the things on my to-do list, I head over to the nearby theater. Once I arrive, I buy a ticket and walk inside. Making my way into the specified room, I find a seat and lean back. The next few hours pass with me, sleeping through the entire movie.

When I wake up, I rub my face and stand up, not caring too much that I just completely wasted my money. I step outside the theater and walk over to the nearby mall, since I can hear my belly rumbling a mile away. I just fed my stomach a bunch of crap this morning for breakfast, so why does it keep yelling at me? The restaurants around here are much too expensive for my wallet, so I think the mall is the best place.

Once I reach the mall and walk past the sliding doors, I make my way over to the food court and pick a reasonable food stall. I order my food, eat it, and take my leave. Feeling exhaustion cover my body, I yawn and walk over to where I assume the park to be. I've been there many times, so finding my way isn't too hard.

_Is what I would like to say._

I feel like I've been wandering around for hours. What the hell? I guess trying to find my way from some random mall wasn't the best option. Well, that's just splendid. I don't know where the fuck I am now, so I can't even get home from here. I look up at the sky and see the darkness that completely covers the entire sky. Isn't that just lovely? I think I've actually gone in the exact opposite direction from where I wanted to go. I actually think it's past night, now. It's probably early in the morning. Maybe I should bring a map with me next time I have another one of these 'outings.'

I probably wouldn't be able to understand it, though.

Deciding that I've had enough of this 'circling the town' routine, I stop in my tracks and place my hands on my hips as I take a look around me. The night air causes me to shiver and I groan as I kick the metal trashcan to my left. The only thing that accomplishes, is a pain in my foot. _This sucks._

About ready to cause a scene, I notice something that has me calming down from my frustration. I remember this place. This is...was where Luka used to live. His neighborhood is right around the corner, which means that I know where I am.

Turning around, I walk down the sidewalk and smile to myself as I step into familiar territory. Once I set foot on the brick path, leading up to the all-too-familiar front door, my steps falter. Just standing here brings back memories. Back then, I didn't think about what was happening. My mind was so fucked up that I believed everything that people told me. I don't know if anything has changed since then.

Every step I take creates a soft _clack_ against the bricks and causes another memory to surface in my mind. I quicken my pace and listen to the crickets chirping to each other. They must have fun, right? All night long, they chat about the events that happened during the day and how much they missed each other. They tell one another about how much they care for the ones they love and that they will never leave them. Even if they go away when the sun is out, they will always find their way back to their home.

_Because that's what they do._

My stroll up to the house comes to an abrupt end as I stand atop the front porch. I feel as if I should just let myself inside and run upstairs to my room. But I don't, because that's not why I'm here.

I allow my mind to run through all of the possible scenarios and I find myself spacing out for the second, third, maybe fourth time today. With a slightly shaking hand, I ring the doorbell and feel everything around me slow down. Even the crickets' songs are slower and less cheerful. Maybe that's my imagination, though.

What seems like hours pass, which has me thinking I should ring the bell again. Just as I lift my hand, I hear something. The faintest sound of shoes stepping on carpet reaches my ears as I wait for someone to answer. The noise grows in volume for a few seconds, before stopping with one last _thump._ I hold my breath as a particularly cold breeze brushes past me and the door opens. I look up at Claude as he gazes down at me and I feel water start to gather in my eyes. _I missed him so much._

I can tell he's confused, because his eyebrows are all scrunched up and he isn't saying anything. He gave me the same expression when I gave him his birthday card the year he adopted me. He thought I wouldn't give him anything, but I did. I made the card myself and wrote down how much he meant to me. I watched his golden eyes sliding from side to side as he read my words, which made me smile even more. _He was reading it._

I felt so happy that day, but not only because he read my card. I was happy because he looked happy. His eyes looked different than they usually did and that was enough for me. Claude closed the paper card and tucked it away inside his jacket, which made me jump over to him and give him the most content hug I had ever given. He cared enough to keep the card I gave him. _Nobody had ever cared so much for me._

"Alois."

Hearing his voice call my name breaks me from my memories as I find myself staring at him. The tears blurring my eyesight have me using my sleeve to wipe the water away. When I look back up, I feel my heartbeat start to beat against my chest again. Claude is handing me a handkerchief. Without thinking, I take the cloth and dry my tears. I hand the material back to Claude with a small smile, but he interrupts my movement by speaking.

"Keep it."

I slowly nod in response and stuff it in my empty pocket.

"Claude," I say, not sure how to phrase what I want to say. When the cool air blows my hair in my face, I find my words. "Can I come in?"

The lingering silence that fills the air has me doubting that he will let me in at all. But, when Claude opens the door a bit wider and steps to the side, I feel my hope rise. Leaving the frigid air behind, I walk into the familiar house and take a look around. Everything is exactly the same as it was when I lived here. Claude closes the front door and takes a few steps toward me. Old feelings of being safe whenever around him make me smile and I suddenly wish I were in his arms right now.

When I look into his eyes, I notice that he isn't frowning. He doesn't look frustrated either. He looks as if he's genuinely happy to see me. _Genuinely._

I almost say something, but he interjects before I can. His voice isn't loud, isn't demanding, isn't angry. "Where have you been?" He sounds like he wants to know. Not like he has to know, but as if he wants to know.

It takes me awhile to find my words, but I finally do. "A friend's house."

He nods and blinks, but doesn't change his expression. His content features don't leave as he raises his hand and rests it on my head. My heart skips a beat and I close my eyes at the welcome gesture. His fingers run through my hair, making me feel as if I'm about to melt. _I missed this._

When I open my eyes again, I notice something that I completely disregarded earlier. It's late into the night, probably early in the morning. Claude's fully dressed.

With a tinge of curiosity, I ask, "Why are—"

The loudest _thump _sounds from the room directly above us and I flinch at the suddenness of it. Claude seemed to hear it as well, since he retracted his hand from my hair and when I glance up at him, he's gazing at the ceiling. My brows furrow as I realize that he's smiling. He wasn't smiling when I stopped by on his front porch after months of being away. He wasn't smiling then.

_Why is he smiling now?_

The only other time I saw him with a smile like this...

My eyes widen fully and I quickly back away from Claude, but end up stumbling and bumping into the table against the wall. Before he fully turns his attention back to me, I am already running upstairs. My injured foot is screaming at me to stop, but I can't hear anything. I can only see that look in Claude's eyes as he looked up at the ceiling.

The room above the front door is Claude's room. Not stopping to catch my breath or see if he has been following me, I keep running and pounding my feet into the floor. The walls around me start to blur and the only door with any clarity, is Claude's room. Before I even reach the room, I lift my hand and grab the handle. With the most luck I've had in my entire life, the door opens and I rush inside.

My heart stops and my stomach flips at the sight of Ciel, tied to the couch by a leash, lying on the floor. _H-He's n-not w-wear-wearing...anything._

Tears form in my eyes when I see him...shivering on the floor. I'm already past my breaking point, but then I see blood. Fucking blood.

I dart from the room with more determination than I have ever had and my feet take me down the hall, until I am standing ten feet before _him_. My hand grips the gun in my pocket and I pull it out in less than a fraction of a second as I point it at his disgusting fucking face. "FUCKING BASTARD!" I turn off the safety and pull the trigger with no thoughts of careful aiming.

A loud gunshot sound echoes throughout the entire house and my arm pulls back with the recoil of the weapon. The bullet flies directly into his left shoulder, making him take a step back with the force of the impact. My vision is blurred with overflowing water as I watch his vile blood slowly seep through his white shirt. His fucking hand is covering the bullet hole and his revolting face is contorted with the pain. I feel myself smile as I take a step closer and fix the gun for another shot. I catch his urine colored eyes watching me as I pull the trigger for a second time.

Another gunshot sounds in the hallway and I watch as more blood exits his wretched body. The bullet cuts into his rib cage and he falls to his knees when the pain hits him. His glasses fall from his offensive face and shatter when they smash against the floor. He screws his eyes shut from the burn of the wound and opens them back up when I cock the gun for a third time. His disgusting eyes look up at me with such regret that I almost laugh in his face.

Instead of a laugh, I use my boot and shove the point of my heel directly into his right eye. The momentum of my foot ramming into his head causes him to fall back and my heel stays rooted, comfortably in its spot. The most wonderful, wet sound hits my ears and I smile as I hear him make an unexpected sound. He _screams. _It's such a hoarse sound that I never would have thought he could make.

The eye that was just moments ago watching me is now a bloodied mess under my foot and I scowl when I twist and remove my boot. When I step to the side, I wait for the right moment to end the squirming mess. The sticky, dark red blood flowing from his right eye is leaking onto the rest of his fucking face and his red stained hands are pressing against it. How _pathetic._

When he turns to face me, when he turns his disgusting, bloody face in my direction, I kneel down and slam the barrel of the gun in between his eyes. His left eye is open and looking at me as I glare at the worthless piece of shit before me. "Fucking rot in Hell." The moment I squeeze the metal, the gun fires and hot blood splatters across my face.


	22. Chapter 22

**A/N:**** Bach's "Air on the G string" is lovely background music for this lil' chappie. ^^**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Arisa:**** I'm glad you like it. Haha, Abby got you to read this story~ Gah, I feel so loved. ^-^ We'll find out Claude's situation in this chappie. Thank you for your review~!**

**Guest:**** Alois needs a medal and a cupcake, methinks. ^^**

**Abby:**** Nekos are adorable, aren't they~? You're all caught-up now. Woo~ :3 Yush, those updating needs can be very demanding. I know. *-***

**An-chan:**** I think Alois lost his marbles for a moment back there, so we'll see what's going on now.**

**Stoned:**** Haha, I'm sure Alois will appreciate the lawyer offering. x3 Mhm, and when Alois attacks someone's face, he attacks that face. That's the Alois guarantee. *o* Gah, thank you~ I write for you guys~. :3  
**

**Tylostoma:**** Oh yah, he didn't see that coming at all. *-* I can't blame him though, considering Alois' personality. I'm sure Alois would have fun petting lil' Luca, as long as Luca doesn't bite. ^^ In Ciel's POV, even though it's for a few chappies, it's only for one day. Sorry if it's a bit confusing. Thank yoooou~  
**

**TsuTsuYandere****: Gaah, you're welcome~ haha, I love that review, I don't even know what to say. x3 Oh, and two chappies in a day. Hm. That sounds like craziness. Well, actually, in the prequel to this story, I updated the story every day at 3:00 am, since it was summer. I don't know how I did it. x3 But, every chapter was up the day after the last. I think that counts as a 30 day challenge, since there are 35 chappies on there. :3**

**02181014:**** I know. Everything's happening all at once. T-T This chappie will show a bunch more of plot, so I hope you eat it all up. :3**

**BooKat:**** Yush, I like Alois. He's the crazy one who's always there. Even when you think he isn't. He is. Well, most of the time. ^^ Enjoy this lil' chappie Boo~**

XXII

A realization dawns on me as I step through the unlocked front door and into my home. _I don't know what to do._

I barely notice the fact that everything is darker than usual as I walk further into the house. My mind is constantly telling me that I need to head to Ciel's room, since he is normally there whenever I return from work, but the more rational part of my mind is whispering that he won't be there. I know he won't be there, but it's all the hope I have right now.

As I make my way over to his room, I see an unconscious Aleister lying on the floor, in a heap. My chest clenches at the sight, knowing that if Ciel were still here, he would have seen Aleister and called the police. Paramedics would have arrived and the blonde man would not be lying on the floor, right in front of me. After continuing my walk, I reach Ciel's room and see everything as it was when I last saw it. At least, I think so. I don't pay much attention to the condition of the room, since Ciel is nowhere in my sight.

Before I turn to leave, I stand in the doorway and soak up every detail. When I actually take a moment to observe my surroundings, I notice that the room isn't the same. Not at all. The one missing piece—the missing, furry-eared, fluffy-tailed piece—is Ciel. Without Ciel, nothing is the same. Nothing has the same life it used to hold. Without Ciel, this room is only a room. A room with no purpose.

With blurry vision, I turn around and kneel down to see if Aleister is alright. I almost reach over to check his pulse, but stop when I catch sight of his chest slowly rising and falling. Feeling a need to help the man, I situate him to lean against the wall. Even though it doesn't seem like it, Aleister always carries out his job with determination. I've known him for a while and he doesn't back down easily. If Claude broke in, Aleister didn't take it lightly. That's why I hir—

_Ring_

My home phone's ringing.

Standing up, I walk over to the receiver and feel my mind wake up a bit. The phone's been ringing since I walked in the door.

I furrow my brow in frustration and almost smash the phone against the wall. Who could _possibly _want to call me? I can't talk to people right now, I need to form a plan to find Ciel. I don't know where Claude took him. If he took Ciel to his house, I would have no way of knowing where that is. My heart sinks and I can't stop repeating one thought inside my mind: I don't know what to do.

I tightly grip the plastic of the phone in my hand and bring it to my ear, planning on calling the police, when I hear a voice on the other end. My eyes widen when I realize that I completely forgot the phone had been ringing. The voice sounds so quiet and shaky; almost like it isn't meant for my ears. When I hear the other person whisper Ciel's name, I feel everything darken around me.

The person on the other end stops speaking and notices the phone stopped ringing. _"S-Sebastian?"_ I recognize that voice; it's Alois.

"Alois, where are you?"

Alois directs his attention back to Ciel to quietly say something, before telling me the address of where he is. He tells me he's at Claude's house and that Ciel is with him. He tells me that Ciel is safe now. That Claude won't hurt him anymore. Alois' words become more choked as he talks and I know that I need to be there soon. Without hanging up the phone, Alois starts to talk to Ciel and whisper more meaningless, calming words.

_ I haven't heard Ciel's voice once._

As I leave the house and step in my car to drive to Claude's house, I use my cell phone to call the police. I tell them about Aleister and hang up as I near the address. Each of the numbers on the front of the houses in the neighborhood lower in value the more I drive. Once I spot the designated house, I pull over and shut off the engine. Without even locking the car, I practically run up to the door and twist the knob.

Once I feel carpet beneath my feet, I am hit with an aroma that I have never smelled before. It's not a pleasant scent and I'd rather not smell more of it, but I have a feeling I am smelling a weak amount of it right now. Not thinking twice about the matter, I call out for Alois. He responds in less than a second and his voice quivers as he tells me that he's upstairs. He sounds hoarse and scratchy as he talks, which makes me hurry even more to where he is.

I start to hear Alois speaking quietly down the hallway, so I follow his voice. The more I near my destination, the more pungent that unfamiliar scent grows. As soon as I turn a corner, I freeze in my tracks. My foot stops in midair the moment I see Claude's mangled, bloody body on the floor.

_Is he dead?_

I step closer to the puddle of dark, red liquid and almost gag. So much blood. _There's no way he could be alive._ When I hear a wet, sinking sound, I look down and grimace at the red soaked carpet, pulling my shoes into the fibers. Turning my attention back to Claude, I almost feel pity for him. _Almost_.

His face is covered in so much of his own blood, that I can't tell where the source is. His shirt has a few small holes with more blood surrounding them and I don't fail to notice Claude's lack of breath. I look at him with no emotion other than a small calming of my nerves, knowing that he won't see the light of day anymore.

_Who did this? Did Alois...?_

It would not be too wild of a guess to assume that Alois killed Claude. He is very unstable and has always wanted to protect Ciel. Where would he have gotten a gun, though? The closer I look, the more repulsed I am. Not at the fact that he's dead, but I'm repulsed at the fact that there is so much blood. Did Alois stab Claude's eye? _Wait._

Alois killed Claude; when Alois called me, he was talking to an unresponsive Ciel; Ciel is with Alois.

I lose my composure when my thoughts fail me and I run over to Alois' broken voice. When I enter the room, I almost fall to the ground in shock. Only when Alois' blonde mop of hair turns to reveal his icy blue, watery eyes, do I understand. Crimson stains are smeared in Alois' hair and on his face, but he doesn't seem to care or notice. All of his attention is focused on the boy in his arms. Even as Alois looks at me, he is still talking to Ciel in chopped sentences.

Alois' words turn to sobs when I step further into the room and shift my focus onto Ciel. My heart shatters and I feel my world crumble around me as I see Ciel's bloody, shivering form. He's wrapped in a blanket and his eyes are screwed shut, as if trying to fend off the world. Alois is holding him to his chest and rocking back and forth as he continuously whispers calming words. The blonde's eyes are blankly watching me; almost as if he is somewhere else entirely.

As I make my way over to the two, I lower myself onto the floor and I look towards Alois. I place my hand on his shoulder and try to tell him that he doesn't need to worry. When I look into his eyes, I silently ask him a question, not trusting my voice at the moment. He sadly looks at me with foggy eyes and seemingly understands what I'm asking as he shakily nods his head. He loosens his hold on Ciel as I reach out to pull the blue haired boy to myself. The moment I feel his body under my fingers, I lift Ciel further onto my lap and stare into his closed eyes.

"Ciel..."

My voice cracks as I quietly call his name and I softly brush a few strands of silky hair away from his beautiful face. His beautiful, perfect, porcelain face; stained with dried tears and small spots of blood. Alois runs out of the room as I notice fresh tears falling on the gorgeous face before me. Only when Alois comes back and crouches down next to Ciel, do I realize that those aren't Ciel's tears and my vision is blurry. Alois reaches out with a knife in his hand and slowly cuts the collar around Ciel's neck. My eyes widen at the sight, not having noticed the object before. I tighten my hold on Ciel and lean down to bury my face in his sweet smelling locks as Alois throws the cut collar and knife elsewhere.

"C-Ciel, it's okay. I'm here, you're safe, love. It's okay...everything's going to be alright. I promise, n-nothing can hurt you now."

My ears pick up a quiet noise coming from Ciel and I nearly break down at the broken sound. I've failed Ciel. He has been taken from me twice now and I've failed him. I said that I wouldn't let anything happen to him. The only reason I was able to find this place, is Alois. I feel like I'm being stabbed in my heart when I realize that Ciel shouldn't believe my words. I stand up and carry Ciel out of the room, since just being here makes me want to go back into the hallway and use Alois' knife on Claude until there's nothing left of him. Staying here would only cause Ciel to relive what happened and I don't want that for him. I don't want any of this for him.

Alois leads the way into a room, that I assume to be his, and I slowly head over to the bed. The blonde boy hurriedly fixes the covers on the bed and pulls them back with shaky hands, to help with Ciel. I tell Alois to call the police as I carefully lie Ciel on the sheets. Alois continuously talks to himself as he runs from the room and I crawl onto the bed, to lie beside my blue haired kitten. Ciel's soft breathing washes over my neck as I pull the covers over him and myself in an attempt to soothe him.

When I wrap my arms around Ciel, he weakly reaches out and grasps the fabric of my shirt. This...everything...it's all my fault. _Everything._ I shouldn't have interfered with Ciel's life. He was living in the alleyways for years before I came along. I shouldn't have screwed with the timeline and caused him all of this...pain. Because of me, he was dragged out of hiding and forced into the view of everyone.

I tighten my hold on Ciel and bury my face in his hair once again. If I hadn't found him, I wouldn't have been able to save him from Claude when he was in the bakery. I wouldn't have been able to see Ciel smile or to hear his angelic voice. If I hadn't found him, he wouldn't be here with me now. Would Ciel have been better off without me?

I reach up to softly run my fingers through Ciel's velvety hair and I frown even more when I hear him speak. He says my name and his voice is so different, so _tired_, that I nearly don't recognize it. But I do, because the way he says my name is unique only to Ciel. His way of saying my name is the only way I love. I could listen to his voice for days on end. Whenever he says my name, he communicates whole sentences. I know what he's thinking, just from hearing him whisper that one word.

He's happy to see me.

_He wants me here._

I can't prevent the water that fogs my vision from spilling over, so I don't even try. "I love you, Ciel. I love you so much." I don't want to think about what happened to Ciel to bring him to this condition because I know if I do, I wouldn't be able to deal with it. I need to focus all of my attention on Ciel's state of mind. He needs comfort right now and I'm more than willing to give it to him. "Don't ever forget that, okay? I love you, Ciel." I feel my voice giving out on me as I whisper my thoughts into Ciel's ear and I don't stop combing his hair with my fingers. I don't stop because it reassures me that he is alive and in my arms.

Ciel's shivering lessens, though it never fully stops, and I hear Alois reentering the room. He's still saying things to himself and I hear him slide down the wall by the doorway. If Alois killed Claude, that event will never leave his consciousness. Claude was Alois' adoptive father for years. He's most likely grasping the severity of the situation now. Not only is Claude dead, but Alois murdered him.

I can't hear much of what he's saying, but the snippets that I can hear are his raw thoughts. His words become more muffled, so I assume he has put his head in his hands. "S-Should...shouldn't h-have hap-pened. Shou-shouldn't...h-happened..."

An almost nonexistent siren blares outside and as the noise quickly rises in volume, I realize that Alois was able to dial the police. I try to calm my nerves and whisper quiet words into Ciel's ear as soothingly as I can while the sirens reach their loudest point and quickly disappear. Alois runs down the stairs as car doors open and close right outside the house. I unconsciously pull Ciel closer and tell him, "We'll be h-home soon, love. I'll bake you your favorite foods and we can stay home all day. Then we can play a favorite game of yours and I'll play as many times as you want."

Ciel barely nods his head and grips my shirt tighter than before. His breathing is weak and light, but I can tell he's calming down slightly. I know he can't speak right now, so I don't ask him any questions. I tell him his favorite things to hear and everything that has made him happy in the past, in hopes of leading his memory into somewhere more pleasant and safe.

"I won't leave for work and you won't be alone. I'll stay by your side and you won't have to be by yourself." I hear Alois opening the front door and more people step inside the house. "Every second of every day, I'll be right next to you, no matter what." Footsteps are growing louder as they head up the stairs and down the hallways. "I won't leave you ever again."

Ciel nods his head a bit stronger than before and he says something that I don't understand, but I don't ask him to repeat himself. When Ciel speaks again, I barely catch what he says. "P-Promise?"

I quickly nod my head and bury my nose deeper into his sweet smelling locks, not wanting to leave any room for doubt in his mind. "I promise." I don't know if my words have any effect on him, but it's all I can do right now. _It's all I can do._


	23. Chapter 23

**A/N:**** Late chapter. As a reward for waiting forever for this chapter...have a chapter. ^^"  
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**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Guest:**** Awe~ I hope this chapter is a bit better. ^^'  
**

**BooKat:**** T-T I understand. I've read a few stories that make me all teared up and then people look at me like I'm a weirdo. But, I don't notice too many, since I can't really see at that point. x3 Gah, thank you~**

**TsuTsuYandere:**** Awee~ you're so nice. ^-^ Oh yes, the fluff. I can say that there will be fluff. Indeed. Because, what is drama without fluff? Exactly. Nothing. c: Gah, I lufs you~**

**Tylostoma:**** Yush, I like Alois. He's a very interesting guy. ^^ Oh my. A chocolate lava cake. With melted chocolate. *-* Suddenly my sugar cookies seem unfulfilling. Haha~ oh, and we'll see just what's going on in the story in this chappie. Sort of.**

**Stoned:**** Gah, I feel so special~ I'm so happy you still like to keep reading and commentating on my lil' story~ ^^ Haha, yush, school has been up in my face lately and it needs to just calm down. Or go somewhere else. :3 Next chappie will be in Ciel's POV. I think. I haven't decided yet. c:  
**

**Abby:**** Ah-ah, no spoilers for you. And especially not spoiled food. Or spoiled yogurt. That stuff is nasty. Don't eat spoiled yogurt. It starts gettin' all chunky.  
**

**Arisa:**** Awe, you forgot about me? *Sniff* Ah, it's all right~ Well, at least I tried. Haha, no spoilers~ and I'm sorry about this extremely late post. Enjoy it, though~**

**Azaora:**** Yush, he did. And we'll see what happened in this chappie~ or not? Maybe. I don't know~~ c;  
**

**Unique:**** Awe~ your review just made me smile like an idiot all day. x3 It makes me so happy to hear that you sacrificed your sleep to read my story for five days~ Gah, I feel so special now. :3 I hope you like this chappie~**

**Emo-Kitty:**** T-T Poor Ciel. Next chappie for you~! Eat it up. x3**

XXIII (Not proofread at all)

I'm worried.

It's been days since Claude's death and Ciel's behavior is worrying me. He barely talks to me, even if I try to strike up a conversation. I have tried to indirectly coax him into speaking by asking questions about his food preference or whether or not he is thirsty. Nothing that I say has changed anything. On the off chance that I happen to catch a few words from him, his voice doesn't sound like Ciel. He sounds distanced and unfocused. He sounds as if he's obligated to talk, not as if he wants to.

His smile—I haven't seen his smile in days. The contagious smile that he occasionally used to show always had me grinning. His eyes would light up when his lips would curl and nothing else in the world mattered. But now, Ciel's smiles have been nonexistent. It isn't as if I haven't tried to have him smile. I _have_ tried. If I can't even manage to make him talk, how can I possibly get him to smile?

Ciel's physical health has been subtly disintegrating. His skin has been slowly lightening in shades, since he only leaves the house when necessary. He hasn't had any sunlight or exercise. Ciel's body is thinning out and I know it is because of his lack of eating. Every meal that we share together, Ciel pushes bits of food around his plate and barely takes a bite of anything. Ciel has a lack of appetite and I feel that if I were to force him to eat, he would feel sick to his stomach and the prospect of food would seem unappealing to him even more. I have tried to encourage him to eat, but he refuses and doesn't say anything.

The nighttime is never a good time. Ciel has not been able to sleep through one full night peacefully. His nightmares are a common occurrence and they have happened so often that I wonder if he can maintain his sanity. He can't catch a wink of sleep and when he does, his dreams are plagued by terror. He has woken up screaming before—that killed me. He was shivering then, too. The dark shadows underneath his eyes constantly worsen and his blue eyes have lost their light. When Ciel sees something, he doesn't _see _it. It's almost like he's just staring because he has to.

His habits of bathing have me concerned as well. He used to despise taking baths. He now doesn't take baths; he takes showers. Ciel has been showering one to two times each day. The fact that he even _thinks _he is filthy makes me furious. Ciel is anything but filthy. He is the most perfect being I have ever seen and I can't stand to see him this way. Whenever he is in the restroom, he never allows me inside. I told him that I only wanted to assure his safety, but he refused to let me in. Of course, I could simply unlock the door with my keys and walk in, but I don't want to disrespect his privacy and give him a reason to be angry with me.

I have been afraid of Ciel falling asleep while he is in the shower, since he could fall asleep and hit his head on the tiles—knocking himself unconscious. It isn't only the fact that Ciel takes multiple showers a day, it's the time that he spends in there. He doesn't leave the room until well past half an hour and always walks out with pinker than usual skin.

Seeing Ciel deteriorate at this rate causes me to feel like a part of me is dying. I haven't allowed Ciel out of my sight for more than a few minutes since that day, but I feel like he is so far away from me. I promised him that I would never leave his side and I fully intend to keep that vow. I have been taking Ciel to work with me and letting him sit just outside my office, with Hannah as his supervisor. I bought Ciel a notebook and some colored pencils so he could draw and not feel bored, but whenever I exit my office, I never see any colors on his white paper. He just blankly stares at the paper and lightly grips a pencil in his hand.

Presently, Ciel is taking a shower. I asked him, once again, if I could accompany him, but he didn't say anything. He only softly closed the door. It's not as if I want to be in the restroom with him so I can see him in the shower—I want to give him support. I want to let him know that he will be safe, no matter where he is. I'll be there for him and he has no need to worry. He doesn't need to hide anything from me and I won't berate him for anything he does. I just...I just want to make sure he is okay.

I take a deep breath and bury my face in my hands as I rest my elbows on my knees. I exhale and open my eyes, glancing around the room. I'm so worried about him.

The television set is on and the sound is muted—I feel as if I will contract a headache if I hear anymore noise from the screen. The local news is displaying pictures and words with the occasional video and constant comments from the anchor. A photo of Alois plants itself in the corner and I watch, with little attention, as the subtitles describe the situation. I already know what is happening and don't need anymore useless information.

Alois was charged with murder and he claimed Claude abused and neglected him. Undertaker managed to show up and testified that Alois' claim was true. The man provided videotapes of Alois' stay in his shop and they showed just how long Alois had been living there. There had been no records of Claude ever filing a missing person's report during the entire time Alois was away. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for him, considering everything he is going through, even though he's still a child.

The judge ruled in favor of Alois and the blonde boy was released and, of course, Undertaker adopted him. The judge accepted that, as well, considering the fatherly behavior from Undertaker on the videos and the way Alois didn't seem to mind at all. So, he has been staying at that man's shop. Alois tries to convince me to let him visit Ciel, but I really don't think Ciel is ready to be socializing.

I use my fingers to comb back my hair and wince as I touch a certain part of my head that was attacked not too long ago. I have yet to run into Grell, so I haven't had the opportunity to punch his lights out. He hasn't been scheduled for any sessions at my work, so I can't contact him there. That entire situation was strange. The back of my mind keeps telling me that he knew what was happening with Claude, but that's only a hunch.

The flow of water in the bathroom abruptly stops and I automatically stand. I hear small shuffling noises coming from the room and I make my way over to stand next to the door. I do this everyday, so Ciel is never surprised to find me here. When the door opens and steam pours into the hallway, I cringe at the sight of Ciel. He shifts his tired eyes to look at me for a few seconds, then turns and walks over to his—well, our—room.

I follow him and watch as he climbs on top of the bed and buries himself underneath the covers.

Not a word.

Without hesitation, I circle around the bed and sit down on the space he left for me. Even though he never says anything, his ears perk slightly when I lie down next to him and pet his hair.

* * *

Three in the morning.

Three in the morning and I'm_ flipping the fuck out._

The weather took a turn for the worse earlier, so now there is a storm and the thunder woke me up. I'm not particularly against thunderstorms, but I know that a certain someone is. Ciel loathes the loud, booming sound of thunder and hates the blinding light of the lightning. I can't blame him, though, his ears are overly-sensitive and his eyes are more fitted for darkness.

I open my eyes to the sound of a particularly loud _boom_ and turn on my side, expecting to see Ciel, curled in a ball. I don't. I don't see anything.

Ciel isn't there.

In less than a second, I jump out of bed and search the room. He isn't in here, that much is obvious. I leave the room and smash open every single door that I come across, which only results in small indentations on the victimized walls. I take better care to open the door to my cats' room, since I don't want to traumatize them, but even that room is devoid of any Ciel. My panic rises exponentially when I open the last untouched door and still don't see Ciel.

Why is he out of our room? Did he leave? Was he sleepwalking? Did he run away? Was he kidnapped?

I can't think like this. I haven't searched everywhere. Ciel is somewhere, I just need to find that somewhere. The lightning doesn't faze me in the least when I call out for Ciel's name. I don't receive any response, even when I try to call again, so I head back into the main room and try to compose my thoughts. Ciel's gone. He was with me when he went to sleep—when I went to sleep. He's not in the house.

My eyes widen. Could he be—

No, it's pouring rain outside and the lightning is less than a mile away; there's no way he would be outside. Ciel hates water, thunder, lightning, and the night.

But when I turn around and face the back door, I feel my heart sink. The streams of water coating the backdoor aren't thick enough to block my view of my cobalt kitten, sitting in the middle of the yard.

I feel my nerves calming down from the panic I felt just moments ago, but now I am feeling another emotion entirely. Why is Ciel outside in the storm?

Only stopping to slip on my shoes, I open the door and don't bother closing it as I head over to Ciel. The rain makes it difficult to see or hear anything, but I don't pay it much mind. The temperature must be below freezing, but if it were, it would be snowing. It's at most one degree higher than freezing right now. I finally am able to stand next to Ciel and when I do, I can't help but feel my heart clench. He's sleeping.

The rain has completely soaked his clothing and his hair is matted to his face. His ears are flattened and his tail is tightly wound around his body. It's hard to tell, but I think he's shivering. His chest is pressed against his knees and his hands are loosely holding each other on his shins. Another bolt of lightning strikes and Ciel doesn't even flinch. His head lifts from his knees as I scoop him up and carry him back inside. I feel his form shaking as I close the back door behind us.

I don't bother with removing my mud-coated shoes as I stride over to the bathroom. When I enter the room and place Ciel on the toilet, he wakes up and blinks his eyes a few times. I run the bath water and make sure the temperature is warm enough, before turning to Ciel. He has his arms wrapped around himself as he looks at me and for a moment, I feel that I should leave him alone and let him take care of this himself. Only because he never allows me in here.

Then I regain my senses. I help remove Ciel's clothes and carefully place him in the bath water, making sure he is comfortable. He doesn't object to what I do, so I stay and regulate the temperature to make sure he is always warm. When more than a few minutes pass, I feel the need to understand what he was doing, outside in the rain, intensify. Finally, I ask, "What were you doing?"

He focuses all of his attention on the water and sinks lower into the tub. A few seconds pass, before he says anything. And when he does, it's one of the softest voices I have ever heard. "I had to."

"Why?" I can tell Ciel isn't happy about speaking more than necessary, but I have lost the notion of caring solely on his wants. If all I do is what he may want at the time, there is no possible way for his condition to improve. I need to help him overcome this and to do that, he needs to open up to me. He needs to trust me.

Ciel takes a long pause and continues not to make eye contact as he thinks. He hasn't made eye contact with me too often and it makes everything seem different. It's almost as if he isn't there when he never talks and never sees. "I don't—I had to think."

_In the rain?_

I let the rest drop for now, since he seems extremely tired and lethargic. When his head inclines slightly and his eyelids droop, I reach forward and unplug the drain. His shivering has stopped and his breathing has slowed. After I dry him and dress him, I pick him up and return him to bed. He doesn't move for a while, but when I change my clothing and remove my shoes, he hides himself under the sheets and all I can see are the tips of two furry, blue ears.

I walk over to the mattress and climb back into the bed, next to Ciel. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around him and rest my cheek on his head. I frown at the smallest flinch from him and tighten my hold, having missed this contact. When he relaxes and slowly raises his hand to cover mine, I pull him closer to me and try to force myself to fall asleep.

Of course, I never do, since I am now paranoid that he will run off again. When six o'clock comes around, my eyes are still open. I blink for the umpteenth time and continue to listen to the steady intake and release of Ciel's breaths. For a moment I actually wonder if I have been dreaming this entire time, since Ciel hasn't had one nightmare, but when Ciel turns around and snuggles into my chest, I quickly dispel that thought.

Since I have no work today, there is no need to wake up early. My hand rises to stroke Ciel's hair and ears as he continues to sleep. He turns his head slightly and I hear a sound of approval coming from him, which makes me automatically smile. He doesn't mind my touch.

Well, in his sleep, anyway.

During the day, he seems more skittish than usual whenever I try to touch him and I know it isn't his fault. He has a lack of trust for people and I don't blame him at all. But, he needs human contact right now, even if he doesn't know it. At least I can comfort him in his sleep, though.

When my fingers occasionally touch the soft skin of his neck, my heart beats a bit faster and I quickly return to petting his ears when he makes a quiet, humming sound at the contact. Ciel is much more accepting when he's asleep, isn't he? It doesn't matter too much to me, since I'd rather Ciel be awake when we share our time together. I just hope he won't wake up soon. I don't want to give him a panic attack.


	24. Chapter 24

**A/N:**** T-T Such a late update. Gah, I'm so sorry. I've had projects, tests, papers for graduation and college to fill out, applications for jobs, and oh, I went to prom on Saturday. That was nice. ^-^ OH. And MeganeMusume, I'm sorry about the whole 'not replying to your pm for months on end' thing. T.T Soon! And toooo AnetteRuby, I promise to reply soon. ^^ 'Been busy (still). :C [Let the endless replies begin~]**

**Point of View:**** Ciel Phantomhive**

**Emo-Kitty:**** Awe~ I feel so flattered I could explode. :3 You're too nice to me. ^^ Thank you~ And as long as you continue guest reviewing, I shall reply to your reviews on each new chappie. c: Just for you~  
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**Stoned:**** Yush~ new chappie~ Awee, you promoted my story~ I feel so special. C: I'm super self conscious about anything I do, so when you say that you like my story enough to tell your bestie about it, gah. I lufs you. *-* Oooh, and the plot will resume soon. I have to get Sebastian and Ciel commencing with the fluff again, then plot resumes~  
**

**Tylostoma:**** ^-^ You rock, too~ and Luca rocks as well~ :3 Haha, you don't want Luca mad. You should get him some treats. Then he'll never be mad at you. c: Gah, how can you predict the future like that? Well, just read this chappie and you'll figure out what happens. Yupyup. Psh, school. Psshpsh.**

**BooKat:**** Gah, I'm glad you liked it, but I know what you mean. We all need some happiness to start circulating~ ^-^ I still don't know when I'll start putting in the plot again, but I need to get all of these guys happy again. c:**

**Abby:**** Haha~ x3 thank you~ I want to give you some cookies or something, because I can't give you anything but a reply and I want to give my reviewers something lovely. Gargh. *3***

**Calli:**** Hi~ I mention all my guest reviewers and private message the reviewers with accounts. ^^ I don't want anyone to feel left out and I love chatting with all you chocolates~ :3 Garrgh, you just flattered me out the window. That doesn't even make sense but I don't know how else to say thank you~ x3 I always think of my story as far from perfect, but I feel all fuzzy when I get compliments. c: I lufs you~!  
**

**Arisa:**** Gah, you and your questions! x3 I can't tell you any answers, since that would spoil it, so I'll leave you in suspense. Mwaha. ^-^ Enjoy this chappie~**

**Azaora:**** Mhmm, things are starting to look up. Or are they? Yeah, they are. Maybe? Yes. Hopfully. Haha, we'll just have to wait and see. Well, not wait, since the chappie's right down there. x3**

**Dee:**** Gargh, thank you so much~! (My fingers are about to fall off with all of these replies. x3) Haha, I'm so happy you like my story~ c: Your friend is lurking in the comments, waiting to jump out at someone, haha. Psh, a free lunch. I wish I had a free lunch. T-T Tut tut tut, *shakes finger* I can't spoil anything for you. No one likes spoiled stories. Like spoiled cheese. Well, maybe some people do. *-* Yah, I like Alois. He's lovable and always almost losing his marbles. ^-^ I hope you like this chappie Dee~ :3**

Chapter XXIV (Not proofread...but it's here~)

I can feel my heartbeat.

Only because that is the only feeling I am focusing on. Every time it beats, I see the slightest twitch in my fingers and I can't stop staring at them. I don't know why, though. It's early in the morning now, but I don't know the exact time. It might be one, maybe two. I would turn around and look at the clock on the nightstand, but I can't. I can't because I'm busy focusing on the nearly nonexistent movement of my fingers. The more I stare at them, the more my vision starts to blur and I have to blink to continue staring.

Sebastian's sleeping next to me right now—I wonder if he can feel the twitch of my fingers on the mattress beneath him. I can. Occasionally I consciously lift my finger and lower it, just to see if it will stop moving. It never does, though. When I curl my hand into a relaxed fist, I hear soft sounds coming from outside the room. I've heard them before; they're the footsteps of one of Sebastian's cats. The first time I heard it, I had to see what it was. If I didn't, I wouldn't have been able to rest. Not as if I had any rest, though.

For the smallest second, I lose my train of thought and absolutely nothing crosses my mind, before I hear Sebastian turn around in his sleep. I'm not facing him, so I'm not sure which direction he's facing now. From the increase in volume of his breaths, I think he's facing me, but I'm not sure.

Sebastian has been acting weird lately. I don't know what it is, but he's been talking to me differently and he keeps watching me with that odd look of his, wherever we are.

"Ciel?"

My hands grip the sheets tighter and I know Sebastian's awake now. The sounds of rustling sheets meets my ears and I curl my knees closer to my chest as I am pulled back against a warm body.

"You're shivering...are you cold?"

It takes me quite a while to realize Sebastian just asked me a question, so I forget what he said and continue watching my fingers with fading vision. They stop moving when Sebastian's arms tighten around me and I barely notice that I was shivering.

* * *

My eyes are still open when it starts raining. I lost my useless focus a long time ago, so now I can't stop thinking. I hate to think now, since I always end up remembering events that I really wish I wouldn't. But, I can't help it. Ever since the day Claude...

Sebastian has been telling me that what happened to me wasn't my fault. That I couldn't have done anything more than I did. That I shouldn't blame myself.

I don't see how he thinks that.

_All_ of this is my fault. I could have done so much more. I could have fought harder against Claude during the small moments he wasn't too violent. I could have done something before I was even taken away from home. I could have slipped out the window, I would have had time to do that, even if it made a sound. Claude had still been out of the hallway when I noticed something was wrong. I could have easily left my room and called the police. Even if I didn't leave the room, I could have called the police when I had the phone, not Sebastian. When I was hiding under my bed, I called Sebastian, not the police. All of my thoughts of safety went to Sebastian and he was the first number I thought of. If I had a different mindset, none of this would have happened and Sebastian wouldn't have to deal with _this_.

With _me._

My feet touch the ground as I roll out of bed and out of Sebastian's hold. When I stand up and look outside the window with drops of rain sliding down the glass, I lose track of my thoughts again. I blink a few times and I remember that I'm standing up, so I turn to leave the room. Before I open the door, I take a glance at Sebastian and feel my heart clench. _Am I a burden?_

I feel like I've taken over Sebastian's life and everything he does is to help me. He doesn't have to, though. I don't want him to. I don't _want _him to waste his life trying to fix me and he shouldn't have to. Leaving the room and walking over to the back door, I notice my heart feels different than before. It feels like it's sinking and freezing over at the same time. Once I am finally outside, I close the door behind me and take a second to listen to the rain.

Hearing something other than my own thoughts lets me ignore the pain I'm feeling and numb my mind for a little bit. I start walking into the rain and my feet sink into the cold, wet mud and grass with each step I take. When I eventually stop, I feel extremely tired and sit down on the ground. Resting my head on my knees, my thoughts start to get scrambled.

I shouldn't be sitting on the ground right now. I should be dealing with my mind and trying to find solutions to my problems. But every time I try, I feel so tired that I can't think straight. I'm not even sure if there are any solutions to my problems. No, that's not right. I have a few. I just don't know if I can carry them out.

I could stand up and walk away from this house and just keep walking. Sebastian would be happier, not having to live with my issues and I could go back to my life on the streets. I wouldn't last long though, I know that.

I've already tried to use the other solution, but it hasn't been fully carried out. Ending my life would prevent me from having to live a few months or weeks in alleys and I wouldn't have to wait for it. If I were to successfully commit suicide, I would have to do it in a place Sebastian wouldn't find me. I don't want him to have any emotions for a dead body.

The cold air and freezing rain on my skin has me constantly shivering, but the fatigue I feel eventually takes over and I feel my heartbeat slow, along with my breathing.

An extremely warm sensation envelops me as I feel myself being lifted off the grass and carried across the yard. I open my eyes after a while and notice that I'm sitting on the closed lid of a toilet and Sebastian is fiddling with the knobs of the bathtub. Subconsciously, I realize what he's trying to do and I wrap my arms around myself. He turns to face me and pauses for a few seconds, before leaning over and helping me undress and step into the hot water. Even though I would rather not have anyone touch me, I don't push Sebastian away, since I'm too exhausted. I feel myself drifting in and out of consciousness as he starts to talk to me.

"What were you doing?"

What was I doing? _I was hiding. From you. I was hiding from you because__—_

"I had to."

"Why?"

Why did I have to sit out in the rain at night? I didn't want to, I had to. I knew that I wouldn't have been able to stay in Sebastian's room for much longer. Lying in the same bed as him hurt me so much, I would rather sit in the middle of a storm. Not that freezing in the rain helped me any. I still couldn't stop thinking about him. "I don't—I had to think."

_Of how to leave._

* * *

The first thing I notice as I wake up, is the smell. It's so overwhelming, I feel my heart beat faster and I don't want to leave. I don't usually smell this strong of an amount of Sebastian's scent, but I'm not complaining. I think my face is buried in his chest, since every time I breathe out, my breath just stays there and my nose heats up a bit from the hot air.

The second thing I notice is an extremely gentle hand petting my hair. It's such a nice, _safe_ feeling, that I try my hardest to maintain an appearance of sleeping, so it won't stop. The longer I stay relaxed in Sebastian's arms, the easier it is for me to appear asleep. I start to wonder, as I nearly fall back to sleep, how long Sebastian has been holding me like this. For the first time in a long while, my cheeks heat up and I feel a burning blush spread across my face.

Before I have time to think further on it, Sebastian softly whispers something to himself. His voice is so quiet, that I have to strain my hearing to understand what he's saying.

"I can't stand to see you so broken."

My heart stops and I forget to breathe for a second.

"I'm going to fix you, Ciel, I promise."

The butterflies in my chest take flight and they won't stop moving. I just want to latch onto Sebastian and never let go._ I want to never let him go because I love him so much._ But that's why I have to let him go; so I can save him the worry and frustration of having to take care of me. I don't like thinking about this, since I feel slightly sick to my stomach. But even if I don't think of this now, I will have to face it eventually. I'm going to have to leave Sebastian. The terrible feeling in my stomach grows and I try to ignore it. I don't think going back to the alleyway is the option I want to choose, out of the two. It's like a slow starvation and I know how painful that is. That leaves me with the second option.

I start to see green as the uncomfortable sensation in my stomach intensifies and my brows furrow in discomfort. I unintentionally let out a small whimper and I curl into myself, to try to ease the feeling of sickness. _The second option__—_

The butterflies in my chest instantly change to churning cement as I wrench myself free of Sebastian's hold and fall out of the bed. Sebastian quickly comes over to me and asks if I'm alright as I stand up on shaky legs. I completely bypass him as I stumble my way over to the restroom with my hand over my mouth and nose. He sounds more and more concerned as he chases me into the tiled room and I am extremely embarrassed when he sees me leaning over the toilet with the contents of my stomach in the water.

_What happened? Just the thought of intentionally killing myself makes me sick to the point of vomiting. No, that's not why I felt sick. I felt sick because I thought of purposefully, permanently, leaving Sebastian._

"Ciel? Ciel, are you okay? Please say something—Ciel!"

I would have fallen onto the cold floor just then if Sebastian hadn't caught me.

_I'm so tired._

* * *

Once again, I wake up glance around me. I'm back in bed and from the looks of outside the window, it's around noon. The rain is gone now and only a few clouds are left. I pull the covers up to my nose and snuggle into the warmth as I close my eyes again. I don't want to think of what happened last night and I really hope Sebastian doesn't either. Where is he, anyway?

He isn't beside me, like he usually is. A second of panic spreads through me at the realization that he is, in fact, not next to me. He promised me he wouldn't leave my side, that he would always be there for me, that I wouldn't ever be alone, that I wou—

"You're up."

Sebastian just opened the door and now he's walking in, carrying a plate and a glass. I instantly recognize the aroma of food and I take a guess that it's for me. As he walks over to my side of the bed, he places the food and glass of juice on the nightstand. I look up at him as I sit up and notice that his crimson eyes seem different. He looks more worn out than normal.

"I thought you might be hungry, since you missed breakfast, so I made you some food."

I shift my attention to the plate of food as he steps back and I don't feel any desire to eat. I expected that, though, considering what happened last night. When I do nothing but stare at the meal, Sebastian sits down on the edge of the bed and looks me straight in the eye. I turn my head and find something else to watch, not used to such close, direct eye contact. _What is he doing?_

"Ciel, look at me."

I take a few seconds to gather my confidence and turn my head back to face the raven haired man. When I do, his eyes look so concerned for me that I feel my eyes start to sting. _He shouldn't have to deal with this._

"Please eat."

Even the thought of eating makes me sick to my stomach, but I try to ignore that feeling in favor of easing Sebastian's pleading expression. Reluctantly, I reach out and take a hold of the sandwich, while Sebastian carefully rests his arm around my shoulders. For a split second, I notice that I didn't flinch nearly as much as I used to, but I quickly disregard that thought. I bite down on a small chunk of bread and quickly don't feel any desire to continue eating.

I look out of the corner of my eye at Sebastian to see if he is watching me. I really don't want to eat this, since I feel ill and last night just made these sensations worse than before. I place the food down on the plate and reach for the glass of juice, to try to postpone my meal. Once I return the glass to its original spot, I nervously glance back to Sebastian and see him still watching me.

"Seba—"

"Eat."

I frown slightly at the harsh tone and focus back on the sandwich sitting in front of me. Just as I start to make an excuse, I see his threatening eyes and I instantly return to my food.

The moment the last crumb is wiped off the plate, I stand up and head to the restroom. That was too much food and I feel so sick to my stomach right now. I hate this feeling and I hate what caused this feeling. I hate thinking about this feeling and I hate having to _deal _with this feeling. My head spins when I take the first few steps and I have to grab onto something to prevent me from falling. That something just happens to be Sebastian and I close my eyes tightly, trying to regain my balance.

"Do you need to use the bathroom, Ciel?"

I shake my head, but quickly realize what I just did and wish I hadn't. Now I can't go into the restroom and get rid of this food in my stomach. If I can't get rid of the cause of my stomach pains, I can't get rid of the pains. But of course, I can't think when my head is spinning, so I blurted out the honest answer of mine.

"Then you're going back to bed. You look ill and I'm going to take a guess and say that whatever you have came from your 'outing' last night." He slowly turns me around and guides me back to my bed.

I don't protest too much, since sleep sounds wonderful, and follow him back to where the bed is. Once I'm close enough, I crawl onto the mattress and burrow myself underneath the soft sheets. Maybe I should put off the thoughts of leaving until I feel better. I'm starting to think that I might actually be sick. I feel the bed dip beside me and I sink down towards it as I situate myself to fully face Sebastian sitting down next to me. When I look up into his eyes, he looks back at me and smiles slightly.

"Don't mind me, I just need to relax for a while." He grabs a book out of the drawer in the nightstand and opens it to a page as I nod to myself and bury my face back into the blankets.

I'm starting to feel sicker than I was when I first woke up and my whole body feels extremely hot as I try to fall asleep. There are too many sheets; why are there so many sheets?

"Are you alright, Ciel?"

I kick off the covers and turn to my side, facing away from Sebastian and scoot away, not wanting the added body heat. I'm starting to feel sweaty and really uncomfortable now. I need to get out of this room because this room is so hot and there will be cooler air outside and I'm too hot to be inside this ro—

"Calm down, kitten."

Sebastian rests his hand on my shoulder and turns me to rest on my back as his brow wrinkles in concern. He lifts his other hand and presses the back of it to my forehead for less than a few seconds. Closing his book, he stands up and leaves the room, muttering a quick, "I'll be right back."

I use my hand to wipe the wetness on my head away and frown when my hand seems warmer than usual. These pyjamas aren't helping my cause at all. They're just locking in the heat and giving me a heat stroke. With newly-found determination, I remove my shirt and chuck it at the wall near the window, not even wanting to look at it. Why is it so hot in here? It used to be freezing at night in this house, until I changed it. Now it must be over a hundred degrees. I shiver at an unexpected gust of nonexistent air and curl into myself as I turn over again.

God, it's cold in here.

Sebastian comes back into the room with a colored bottle with some sort of liquid in it and a small cup. Another freezing gust of wind blows by and I suddenly regret taking off my shirt. When Sebastian reaches the edge of the bed, I manage to tug the sheets back up to cover me and I shiver a bit more.

"Alright, Ciel, I need you to drink this," he says as he unscrews the cap of the bottle and pours the scented liquid into the cup. "It will help you feel better." He hands me the cup and I reach out from under the blankets to grasp the plastic.

The closer the liquid gets to my nose, the stronger it smells and the more I start to dislike this stuff. What is it, anyway? Don't tell me it's medicine. _I hate medicine._

I grimace at the sloshing of the medicine in the cup and my thoughts flash to throwing the stuff out the window, but I don't. I don't because I'm too hot right now. It's no wonder I'm hot, though, with all these damn blankets smothering me. With a frustrated grunt, I throw the sheets off of me and they all fall to the floor in a heap. Feeling better in the cold air, I sigh and Sebastian continues looking at me. Oh yeah, he wants me to drink this _stuff._

"What is this?"

"Well, you have a fever, so you need medicine to counteract it."

I knew it. I knew it and I wish I didn't. I hate medicine more than I do fleas. Actually, I think fleas are on my top three 'most hated' list. The other two are water and Claude. But, since one of those two is gone, I should make a new list. One: fleas. Two: water. Three:_ medicine._

"Will you take it?"

Even though I would rather deal with fleas in the ocean, I don't want to disappoint Sebastian and raise the cup to my lips. The smell is so intense right now that I have to stop myself from gagging and I hold my breath as I chug the liquid. When I'm done, I place the cup on the table and snuggle into the pillow near my head, which just so happens to be Sebastian's.

"Thank you," Sebastian adds as he moves to clean up the table. He leaves the room with the dishes and comes back in a moment later, with another cup. But, this one is steaming. And it smells delicious. Although, I don't think I would be able to deal with drinking such a hot drink, if it is for me, since I'm boiling. At least I don't have to deal with those annoying blankets.

The moment he situates himself at the head of the bed, right beside me and hands me the cup, I shiver and feel the coldness of the air nip at my skin. On second thought, this drink seems rather nice right about now. I carefully take the mug from his hands and inhale the intoxicating aroma, before sipping at the drink. My eyes widen at the flavor and I immediately remember when my parents would sit around in the living room, drinking this drink. The snow would be falling outside and we would sit close together, just waiting for bedtime to show up.

I subconsciously continue drinking the wonderful hot chocolate and frown when I see that there is nothing left in the cup. I turn to tell Sebastian, but flush instantly when I catch sight of him staring at me. He smiles and removes the cup from my hands, placing it on the table, where everything else used to be. I think that medicine is working, since I don't feel nearly as cold as I just did. Maybe that was the hot drink, though. Or maybe it's because Sebastian is still watching me.

Without any warning, Sebastian lifts his hand and rests it on my head as he says, "You're so beautiful, Ciel."

Time slows and my eyes are wide as I find all of my focus on his ruby red eyes. Does he mean that? Does he think I'm...

"Everything about you."

My eyesight is blurry as Sebastian's hand starts to deftly massage my ears and head. He leans forward and places a gentle kiss on my cheek, making my face heat and the tears to spill over. _He thinks_...

Taking note of the fact that I haven't flinched once since I woke up, I find a small smile forming on my face and I fully turn to face Sebastian. I look up into his eyes and sit up slightly to bury my face in his chest as I realize what he just told me. _No one has ever said that to me._

Wrapping his arms around me, Sebastian pulls my body closer to him and I smile into the fabric of his shirt. _He thinks I'm beautiful. _The most embarrassing, familiar noise starts to rumble from within my chest and I feel my heartbeat speeding up as I start to purr. All my thoughts of embarrassment fall away, though, when Sebastian interrupts my thoughts and makes the butterflies in my chest flutter rapidly.

"You're just further proving my point."


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N:**** This chapter is so late. *-* Gah. But, I have to give one to you guys, since I won't be able to write until next week. 'Cuz I'm going to be at the Anime Expo~ For days 2-4 or so, I'll be goin' as Ciel, so if you can find me, I'll give you a high five~ or something. ^^ Hm. My hat has black and white roses on it...and...I'll have white flowers on my darkish blue jacket. Yah, super vague. Hm. I have no heels? Is that more descriptive? *3* Well, my sister might bring her violin and play some tunes~ T-T SO. I'll reply to everyone's reviews and wwwwwhatnot in a few days. Yup. Short chappie. It's just a short chappie with fluff, so you guys can have somethin'. c: So, don't expect too much plot here.**

**Point of View:**** Sebastian Michaelis**

**Warnings:**** (They're back~!) Some intense fluff (haha, that makes total sense) and a few mentions of past chappies.**

Chapter XXV

I have a problem.

It's a rather..._problematic_ problem. The only thing I can do right now, is to stare at the complete mess of herbs on the floor and counters before me. How did this happen?

Oh.

_Now _I remember.

* * *

When Ciel starts purring in my arms, I feel my heart melt and I unintentionally smile to myself. His face is all red from embarrassment and I keep petting his ears in enjoyment to try to help calm him down. This Ciel is the Ciel I remember. I remember his cute blushing face under the tree in the park when I sat down next to him and his pouty look when I refused to leave. I remember his one visible, piercing blue eye watch me as I started to walk with him.

Ciel is so warm, cuddling to my chest, that I squeeze him tighter to try to make him blush even more. I think it works, since he's completely hiding his face now. I know he doesn't mind this and that makes me so happy. Ciel doesn't mind all of this human contact, even after he was raped. He doesn't mind me holding him so close to me and I feel like he's healing so well. Ciel is so strong and he has so much will that I wonder why I worry so much.

It takes a long while, but eventually, my little kitten falls asleep and his purring slowly fades. I close my eyes and let myself fall asleep too, since I know Ciel will be alright.

A few hours later, my mind wakes me up and I look down to see Ciel in the same position as before. Blinking, I stroke his hair for a few minutes, before carefully leaving the bed and exiting the room. I'm glad the doors aren't creaky, since I really would rather Ciel catch up on some sleep. He hasn't had much of a full night's sleep for a while now and I don't want to disrupt the first nice dreams he has had in weeks.

Closing the door behind me, I walk down the hall and stop just before I enter the kitchen. Seeing Timmy sitting in front of me, just staring up at me with pleading eyes, is a normal routine. I always wake up early and Timmy always waits to be fed. Tommy and Berry are fine with sleeping a bit more, but not Timmy. He's always trying to con me out of early breakfast.

And of course I give in to him.

"Alright. Come on, Timmy. Let's get you some food."

I step around his swishing tail and he immediately follows me into the kitchen. He walks alongside me, so I don't step on his little feet and when I reach the cupboard, he starts to make figure-eights around my ankles. His back arches and he squishes up with his tail up high as I search for the brown bag of food. I smile when Timmy lets out a small "Mew~."

Once I grab the bag, I open it up and walk over to the silver food bowl. Timmy lifts his two front feet and does a little twirl to prance over to the food. I pour the kibbles and Timmy starts chomping away at the breakfast. The sound of Timmy crunching on food and the food chunks sifting around in the bowl are the only noises that fill the room. I really hope he doesn't eat all that food. I think I poured a bit too much.

Walking back over to the cabinet, I place the bag inside and _it_ happens. The incident that will take me _hours _to clean. _Hours._ Not to mention Timmy is still in the room.

I think my mind shut down for a few seconds, because I don't remember what happened, but I can see everything and I really wish I couldn't. My hands reach out, but stop mid-air, when I realize I don't know where to start. How am I supposed to clean this? It's on the counters, floors, inside cabinets, on my clothes, some of it is even on Timmy.

How am I supposed to clean an entire bag of spilled catnip?

* * *

So, here I am—standing in the middle of a disaster.

When Timmy heard the small plop of the bag dropping to the counter and then to the floor, he looked up and his eyes lit up. Now, he's trotting over to me and sniffing the spread out amount of catnip. Okay, while he's doing that, I need to get the vacuum. Then I can clean most of the mess. For the ones stuck in the grooves of every little _thing _in this kitchen, I'll have to use a sponge or something or other. I need to get Timmy out of this room, first. He hates vacuums, so I would normally have no problem with cleaning messes with vacuums, since he flees the scene fairly quickly. But, he loves catnip. I feel that he would choose to consume catnip over running from a vacuum, any day.

Sighing to myself, I reach down and scoop the fluffball up and into my arms. I can tell he's already eaten some of the mess, since his pupils are dilated and he's not trying to escape my hold at all. As I carry him out of the kitchen and towards my kittens' room, he closes his eyes a bit. I situate myself to open the door and once I do, I lie Timmy on his bed and he instantly stretches out, showing me all of his belly. "I hope you're happy, Timber. You didn't even finish breakfast and you're already drugged."

He doesn't reply, but he keep reaching in front of him and I smile to myself once again as I turn to leave the room. Making my way back over to the kitchen, I sigh and try to think of happy thoughts. Not thoughts involving catnip spread throughout the entire kitchen.

Well, not the _entire_ kitchen.

Pushing the door open, I step inside and onto the tiled flooring, only to instantly stop on that step. My eyes are solely focused on the blue haired, cat eared, fluffy tailed Ciel, sniffing the counter. His nose nearly touches the green herbs as he places his hands on the edge of the surface and leans in more. Does he like the smell?

Well.

This is quite the situation.

I don't think Ciel even knows that I'm in the room. He looks tired and his hair is sticking out every which way. His pyjamas are all ruffled and his ears aren't even facing my direction. He's so adorable.

"Ciel?"

He turns his head to look at me and his eyes widen, as if he is just now noticing me. Taking a few steps forward, I stand beside him and wrap my arms around his waist. He turns his attention back to the catnip, with pink cheeks, and I bury my nose in his hair and furry ears. Ciel doesn't say anything, so I turn my head and rest my cheek on his hair, to watch what he's doing.

"I spilled the entire bag of catnip. Do you like the smell?"

There is a moment of hesitation, before the blue mop of hair slowly nods and leans in towards the mess on the counter. His nose actually touches the surface this time and I don't have any time to stop him, before he sticks his pink tongue out and licks the catnip. I stand up straight, but don't let go of Ciel, and notice that he still has his face practically on the counter.

"Ciel, I wouldn't do that. It's not very sanit—"

"Sebastian." He lifts his head and faces me with those wide eyes of his. "You smell like it."

My mind is trying to decide whether that statement is a positive or negative thing. I can nearly feel the energy being used to decide if I need to get Ciel away from the catnip or not. But, when my kitten turns around and takes a hold of my arms, I start to lean toward letting Ciel have his catnip.

Ciel's nails are rather sharp, now that I can feel them almost digging into my skin, but I don't mind. He lifts his head and I lean down to be eye level with him as he stares straight into my eyes. He's acting so differently now than he was recently. This thought fills me with happiness that goes to my head and I smile as I incline my head to kiss his soft lips. I've missed Ciel's kisses so much that this one feels like more than I'll ever need. But, I know I'll need more later. I can never have enough of Ciel.

Right now, Ciel tastes more bitter than usual, but I know that's because of the catnip and I won't pay much attention to it. After a few moments, I feel Ciel melt relax into me, so I hold onto him tighter and he raises his hands to my shoulders. I place my hand on the back of his neck to angle his head better and he lets out a purr when I deepen the kiss. That sound has me pulling him toward my body even more and I feel my heart speed up when he doesn't back away.

His purrs increase when I break away from his lips and start to kiss his smooth skin from his jaw to his neck. Ciel tilts his head away from me, letting me have a lovely view of his collarbone, and I start to think I'm enjoying myself too much. Since Ciel isn't objecting to any of this, I let myself mark him and I lift my head to kiss Ciel one more time, before leaning my head back. My eyes shift to the newly-formed coloring on my kitten's neck and I can't help but smirk and squeeze Ciel tighter in a hug.

Ah~ how I love my kitten.


End file.
